No Card, No Handicap

DAWE: Thanks for your time.

CLARKE: Very good to be here, Bryan.

DAWE: You’re the Prime Minister of Australia.

CLARKE: I am.

DAWE: Can we talk about the golf club?

CLARKE: Which golf club?

DAWE: Marrickville Golf Club.

CLARKE: Certainly.

DAWE: You’re an honorary member.

CLARKE: Apparently.

DAWE: Apparently?

CLARKE: I was advised that I’d been made an honorary member in 2012.

DAWE: You didn’t know?

CLARKE: I knew I was advised.

DAWE: But you didn’t know you were a member.

CLARKE: That’s correct.

DAWE: How does somebody become an honorary member of a golf club without knowing they’re a member?

CLARKE: I’m not sure. That’s probably why it’s honorary.

DAWE: It’s not on your register of interests.

CLARKE: I didn’t consider it relevant.

DAWE: Why not?

CLARKE: Because I don’t play golf.

DAWE: You don’t have a membership card.

CLARKE: No.

DAWE: Do you have a handicap?

CLARKE: You need a card.

DAWE: And you don’t have a card.

CLARKE: No.

DAWE: But you’ve been going to the club for decades.

CLARKE: Yes.

DAWE: You’ve walked your dog there.

CLARKE: Yes.

DAWE: You’ve campaigned to save its eighteen holes.

CLARKE: Yes.

DAWE: And you’ve promised it $6.05 million of taxpayers’ money.

CLARKE: Yes.

DAWE: But you didn’t know you were a member.

CLARKE: That’s right.

DAWE: That’s quite a lot of not knowing.

CLARKE: I’ve always believed in keeping an open mind.

DAWE: Did the club approach you about the money?

CLARKE: No.

DAWE: They approached your electorate office.

CLARKE: That’s different.

DAWE: How?

CLARKE: It wasn’t me.

DAWE: It was your office.

CLARKE: Yes.

DAWE: Which is your office.

CLARKE: That’s why it’s called an office.

DAWE: The club says it was told there was money available and asked what its needs were.

CLARKE: That’s good consultation.

DAWE: They produced a presentation.

CLARKE: Excellent consultation.

DAWE: And eventually they received $6.05 million.

CLARKE: They had needs.

DAWE: Your office asked what they needed.

CLARKE: Yes.

DAWE: They told your office.

CLARKE: Yes.

DAWE: And then the money appeared.

CLARKE: That’s how government works, Bryan.

DAWE: There was a $560 million programme.

CLARKE: Correct.

DAWE: Invitation only.

CLARKE: Correct.

DAWE: Non-competitive.

CLARKE: Correct.

DAWE: And Marrickville Golf Club was the only golf club invited.

CLARKE: Yes.

DAWE: Why?

CLARKE: It had a project.

DAWE: So did Rutherglen Golf Club.

CLARKE: Apparently.

DAWE: They needed $800,000 for a new clubhouse. They couldn’t even get invited to apply.

CLARKE: That’s unfortunate.

DAWE: Marrickville got $6.05 million.

CLARKE: Marrickville was invited.

DAWE: Why?

CLARKE: Because we made an election commitment.

DAWE: Why did you make an election commitment to Marrickville?

CLARKE: Because it’s in my electorate.

DAWE: And why is the club in your electorate?

CLARKE: Because that’s where the club is.

DAWE: And why is the club there?

CLARKE: I think we’re getting into geography now.

DAWE: Catherine King says she’s the decision-maker.

CLARKE: She is.

DAWE: She says you’re not.

CLARKE: I’m not.

DAWE: But you’re the Prime Minister.

CLARKE: Yes.

DAWE: And the local member.

CLARKE: Yes.

DAWE: You made the election commitment.

CLARKE: Yes.

DAWE: The club approached your office.

CLARKE: Yes.

DAWE: And you’re an honorary member of the club.

CLARKE: Apparently.

DAWE: But Catherine made the decision.

CLARKE: Precisely.

DAWE: So the relevant person is whoever signs.

CLARKE: Yes.

DAWE: And you didn’t sign.

CLARKE: No.

DAWE: That’s a very convenient system.

CLARKE: It’s called Westminster government.

DAWE: Wasn’t Westminster government supposed to make accountability clear?

CLARKE: It does. It makes it very clear it’s Catherine’s.

DAWE: Bridget McKenzie had an undisclosed membership of a gun club that received government funding.

CLARKE: Yes.

DAWE: She was the minister responsible for the programme. An inquiry found she’d breached ministerial standards. She resigned.

CLARKE: Yes.

DAWE: So what’s the difference?

CLARKE: Bridget McKenzie was the decision-maker.

DAWE: And Catherine King was the decision-maker.

CLARKE: Exactly.

DAWE: So the relevant person is whoever signs.

CLARKE: Yes.

DAWE: And you didn’t sign.

CLARKE: No.

DAWE: So your membership isn’t relevant.

CLARKE: Apparently.

DAWE: Your electorate office isn’t relevant.

CLARKE: Correct.

DAWE: Your election commitment isn’t relevant.

CLARKE: Correct.

DAWE: But Catherine King’s signature is.

CLARKE: Precisely.

DAWE: That’s a very convenient system.

CLARKE: It’s called Westminster government.

DAWE: Wasn’t Westminster government supposed to make accountability clear?

CLARKE: It does. It makes it very clear it’s Catherine’s.

DAWE: Let’s talk about the money.

CLARKE: Certainly.

DAWE: $6.05 million. What was it for?

CLARKE: Infrastructure.

DAWE: The clubhouse?

CLARKE: Yes.

DAWE: Outdoor dining?

CLARKE: Yes.

DAWE: Landscaping?

CLARKE: Yes.

DAWE: Sewerage?

CLARKE: That’s the important one.

DAWE: Because when the club floods, the old system can put untreated sewage into the Cooks River.

CLARKE: That’s the problem.

DAWE: So this isn’t a golf club with a plumbing problem.

CLARKE: No.

DAWE: It’s a sewage works with a bar attached.

CLARKE: It’s community infrastructure, Bryan.

DAWE: And Catherine King approved it.

CLARKE: Correct.

DAWE: That’s quite a coincidence.

CLARKE: Coincidences happen.

DAWE: Usually one at a time.

DAWE: The Centre for Public Integrity examined the programme.

CLARKE: Good.

DAWE: Three dollars in every four went to Labor seats.

CLARKE: Those communities had projects.

DAWE: Forty-five electorates received nothing.

CLARKE: They should have had an election commitment.

DAWE: The Centre found no relationship between where the money went and household income.

CLARKE: They should look at the projects.

DAWE: They did.

CLARKE: The commitments?

DAWE: They did.

CLARKE: The election?

DAWE: They did.

CLARKE: Well, there you are.

DAWE: They still couldn’t explain how some projects got invited and others didn’t.

CLARKE: They should ask the department.

DAWE: They have. The department doesn’t know either.

CLARKE: That’s why we have departments.

DAWE: To know things?

CLARKE: Among other things.

DAWE: Who designed the process?

CLARKE: Government.

DAWE: Who is the government?

CLARKE: Labor.

DAWE: Who won the election?

CLARKE: Labor.

DAWE: Who made the commitments?

CLARKE: Labor.

DAWE: Who got most of the money?

CLARKE: Communities.

DAWE: Mostly Labor-held communities.

CLARKE: Coincidentally.

DAWE: Conveniently.

CLARKE: You can call it what you like.

DAWE: I’m trying to work out what you call it.

CLARKE: Funding.

DAWE: What do the Commonwealth grants rules say about merit?

CLARKE: I’m not sure.

DAWE: They say you use a competitive, merit-based process unless another process is specifically agreed.

CLARKE: We agreed.

DAWE: And if you don’t?

CLARKE: You document why.

DAWE: Has the government explained why this one was closed?

CLARKE: It was designed to deliver election commitments.

DAWE: That explains why it was closed. It doesn’t explain how you chose which commitments got in.

CLARKE: They’re election commitments.

DAWE: That’s not an answer.

CLARKE: It’s an election.

DAWE: That’s not an answer either.

CLARKE: It’s the system.

DAWE: Is the system allowed to choose the golfers before the game starts?

CLARKE: Bryan, I wouldn’t know.

DAWE: You don’t play golf.

CLARKE: Correct.

DAWE: What’s your handicap?

CLARKE: I told you. No card.

DAWE: No card, no handicap.

CLARKE: Correct.

DAWE: You’ve been going to the club for decades.

CLARKE: Yes.

DAWE: Your office helped it put a funding request together.

CLARKE: My office spoke to them.

DAWE: You promised it $6.05 million.

CLARKE: Yes.

DAWE: Catherine King approved it.

CLARKE: Yes.

DAWE: And it was the only golf club invited into a $560 million programme.

CLARKE: Yes.

DAWE: So what do you actually know about golf?

CLARKE: That I don’t play it.

DAWE: Prime Minister—

CLARKE: Bryan.

DAWE: Yes?

CLARKE: I think you’ve misunderstood the game.

DAWE: What game?

CLARKE: Golf.

DAWE: I thought you didn’t play golf.

CLARKE: I don’t.

DAWE: Then what game are we playing?

CLARKE: That’s a matter for the decision-maker.

DAWE: Catherine King?

CLARKE: Correct.

DAWE: And what’s her handicap?

CLARKE: She doesn’t have one.

DAWE: Why not?

CLARKE: She’s the decision-maker.

DAWE: That’s not how golf works.

CLARKE: No.

DAWE: That’s how government works.

CLARKE: Apparently.

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About David Tyler 205 Articles
David Tyler – (AKA Urban Wronski) was born in England, raised in New Zealand and an Australian resident since 1979. Urban Wronski grew up conflicted about his own national identity and continues to be deeply mistrustful of all nationalism, chauvinism, flags, politicians and everything else which divides and obscures our common humanity. He has always been enchanted by nature and by the extraordinary brilliance of ordinary men and women and the genius, the power and the poetry that is their vernacular. Wronski is now a full-time freelance writer who lives with his partner and editor Shay and their chooks, near the Grampians in rural Victoria and he counts himself the luckiest man alive. A former teacher of all ages and stages, from Tertiary to Primary, for nearly forty years, he enjoyed contesting the corporatisation of schooling to follow his own natural instinct for undifferentiated affection, approval and compassion for the young.

11 Comments

  1. I am with the PM on this. He walks his dog there. So what I walk around the local golf course .I am not a member paid up or voluntary. McKenzie is a member of her rifle club. Totally different scenario.

  2. As a member of the Executive Committee of an organisation that sometimes applies for grants and gets them, but not always, I don’t think that our membership have much influence on what grants we get. Sometimes we are advised about a grant – our local Federal member puts out a helpful Grants Bulletin quarterly, our Liberal State and Federal members do very little that is helpful in finding grants. One of our members subscribes to Grant Guru to keep tabs on what might be coming up.

    You would be surprised by the range of grants available – Wheen Bee Foundation, Bundaberg Rum Bushcare Grants …. At one time we were working alongside our local Golf Club and chasing grants to improve the environmental qualities of the local creek where it flowed through the Golf Course.

    Applying for a grant is usually a very onerous process, requiring a costed, worthwhile project. There is no place to list our important members. The grant bodies are mainly interested in having value for their generosity in terms of acknowledgement.

    Making a corruption scandal around Mr Albanese’s honorary membership as somehow influencing or in any way connected to the achievement of a successful grant simply shows the ignorance of the commentators who clearly have no knowledge or understanding of how community organisations get funding for important projects.

  3. Cath, you’re right, and I’d go further: the membership is the weakest part of the story. Plenty of us walk a course we’ve never joined, and an honorary membership nobody told you about in 2012 is not a scandal. It’s a way in.

    And you’re right about McKenzie too. It is a different scenario. She was the minister and the decision-maker. That distinction is real, and the sketch says so in as many words.

    But it’s the other end of the thing that bothers me. Rutherglen Golf Club in Indi is more than a century old, its clubhouse seats sixty and needs replacing, and it was after eight hundred thousand dollars. It wasn’t invited to apply. Marrickville was, and got six million. Nobody has explained who drew up the invitation list, or why a five hundred and sixty million dollar programme was closed and non-competitive at all. Three dollars in every four went to Labor seats. Forty-five electorates got nothing.

    None of that requires the Prime Minister to have done anything improper. It just requires somebody to say how the players were chosen. That’s still the unanswered question, and the dog has nothing to do with it.

  4. Lyndal, thank you for this. You know the system from the inside and everything you describe is accurate: the costed project, the onerous forms, the acknowledgement requirements, the member who watches Grant Guru so the rest of you don’t have to. And you’re right that nobody’s honorary membership gets a submission over the line. The membership is the thinnest part of this story and I’d not defend it as the charge.

    But the process you’re describing is the one that wasn’t used here. The Major and Local Community Infrastructure Program was invitation-only and non-competitive. You could not apply. The Commonwealth had to invite you first, and there is no published account of how it decided whom to invite. Your committee’s whole apparatus, the bulletin, the subscription, the costed proposal, would have been of no use whatever, because there was no round to enter.

    That’s the point, and your experience makes it better than mine does. Rutherglen Golf Club in Indi had an engaged local member working with them and still couldn’t get in the door, because there wasn’t one. Marrickville was invited and received six million dollars. The Commonwealth’s own rules say you use a competitive merit-based process unless another is agreed, and that you document why. That document has not appeared.

    So I’d put it this way. The scandal isn’t that somebody’s name was on a membership list. It’s that for this particular $560 million there was no list to apply to at all, and nobody will say who wrote the one there was.

  5. Oh dear ….. I can see Thommo enjoying his comments on this COALition rant poorly disguised & masquerading as a Labor interview.

    Oops!! Silly me!! THAT was mythical Albo and the indominable Clark!!




  6. Mostly Labor-held communities.
    This specific grant aside, look at the imbalance of grants during the LNP’s most recent tenure. A certain amount of redress may be required to even that out. And spare me the “two wrongs don’t make a right”; sometimes the second can help repair the first’s damage. The process, however, needs to be transparent, and that is the issue with which I’m most concerned here.

  7. Thanks David, nice to see you back, and I concur with Michael, Clarke and Dawe, I believe, would be proud if it was one of their own.

    There are two questions I think Australians should keep in mind:
    first, was it corrupt behavour and so bad governance?
    second, putting aside the question of corruption, was it bad governance anyway?

    One could have sympathy with Labor if they were wanting to address the maladministration of the Coalition who favoured Coalition and marginal seats, but if I remember particularly Coalition seats.

    But that can only do so much lifting. If the Coalition’s pork-barrelling was unfair and created an imbalance in funding, then Labor needed only to make the grants needs-based to address that imbalance – they didn’t.

    From Michael Pascoe on MWM: “..the benchmark set by the NSW ICAC’s Operation Jersey investigation, which found:

    “Defined as ‘the allocation of public funds and resources to targeted electors for partisan political purposes’, the ICAC concluded that pork barrelling can, under certain circumstances, involve serious breaches of public trust and conduct that amount to corrupt conduct.”

    That’s a standard too high for the Federal Labor and Coalition parties that have the NACC they can be comfortable with.”

    https://michaelwest.com.au/rorts-galore-why-is-albo-encouraging-grant-corruption/

    Blind Freddie could see that using any government using public funding for its own political gains is corruption.

    Labor, as pointed out in the interview, didn’t use a needs based criteria, it didn’t address all areas of need. What it did was played favourites. With an invitation only basis, and no competitive criteria, it quite possibly was handing out grants to mate’s projects.

    When the Coalition was called out by the Auditor General for breaking the rules, the whole pork-barrelling rort was rightly labelled as corrupt, unfair and bad governance.

    Labor may not have broken the rules but it is equally corrupt, unfair and bad governance.

    Ex-senator Rex Patrick makes no bones about it on MWM: “Pork-barrelling is corruption. It’s (major) parties using public money to buy votes for a ‘stay in power’ or ‘get in power’ advantage, and/or for individuals to ‘stay on a high MP salary’ or ‘get on a high MP’s salary’.”

    https://michaelwest.com.au/pork-barrelling-is-back-to-stay-its-corrupt-but-coalition-barely-calls-out-labor/

    The question of most importance in regard to Federal pork-barrelling is ‘what has a Federal MP got to do with funding golf clubs,or swimming pools, or rifle clubs, or building carparks? The answer is nothing, that’s a state or council responsibility, according to Parliament’s own education office. Under the second point in ‘Environment’: “state and territory parliaments—protection of the natural environment, approvals for new developments, waste disposal etc”

    https://peo.gov.au/understand-our-parliament/how-parliament-works/three-levels-of-government/three-levels-of-government-governing-australia

    Under a Westminister system of government, Federal government taking care of national issues, state government taking care of state issues, and councils taking care of local issues makes sense, well, to me anyway.

    Federal politicians running around making promises of funding for golf clubs, swimming pools, rifle clubs or carparks, is bad, ineffective governance – it shouldn’t be their place. Shouldn’t they instead defer that as a matter they will take up with their state counterpart, and perhaps lean on them. They should be able to make promises to fund the State government properly to tackle such issues.

    Pork-barrelling is bad governance, just as pumping money into marginal seats is bad governance. Does it ever end up addressing the greatest need? I don’t think so.

    If you’re thinking of voting Labor or Coalition at the next federal election, when you see your children/grandchildren studying, do you tell them: ‘What are you doing! don’t waste your time, learn how to borrow money and grease the palm of officials and voters’?

    Some say that people are shifting their support behind One Nation because they don’t see the two other major parties as serving them, and so they want to tear the system down. Perhaps insteading making excuses for corrupt behavour, Labor and Coalition supporters should ask themselves, how would people toying with the idea of supporting One Nation view Labor’s pork-barrelling, coming on the heels of the Coalition’s pork-barrelling?

  8. I’m not that familiar with Clarke and Dawe, David – I’ve never been much of a TV watcher – but if they were as half as witty and entertaining as your tribute to them, then I was definitely missing out.

  9. a silly over reaction – only issue lies with the ‘by invitation’ which is inexplicable
    in no way equals the corruption of the ‘sports rorts’

  10. Carol Taylor, poor John Clarke is no longer with us, left for the Great Gig in the Sky some time ago.

    Dawe always did the straight guy but the team were excellent satirists.

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