Politics
What Are Australian Values?
The phrase “Australian values” is often invoked in times of political tension. It is used to draw boundaries – to decide who belongs, who does not, and who must prove themselves worthy. Yet the phrase […]
Articles by Roswell
Politics
The Immigration Door: Open, Closed, and Very Australian
New Liberal leader Angus Taylor has announced a bold new plan to restore “Australian values,” reduce cost-of-living pressures, and reintroduce a door policy at the national border. “It is clear that numbers have been too […]
Politics
“Renewal: The Canberra word for ‘Let’s try this again’.”
So here we are: Angus Taylor has challenged Sussan Ley for the leadership of the Liberal Party – and therefore for the exalted position of Leader of the Opposition, a role traditionally described as “Prime […]
Satire
The New Doctrine of Cultural Sanctions
In a bold reimagining of international diplomacy, President Trump has unveiled a groundbreaking strategic principle: if Canada make a new deal with China, “China Will ‘Terminate ALL Ice Hockey’ In Canada.” This is not merely […]
Politics
Australia doesn’t need Trump. We’ve already rejected him – loudly
Almost daily, social media produces one of its more durable fantasy genres: “If Donald Trump ran in Australia, he’d win in a landslide.” Many are followed with pleas that Australians are desperate for a […]
Politics
The Liberal Party’s bold new strategy: keep moving to the right until something happens
After losing government in 2022, the Liberal Party did what all defeated political parties do: it reflected deeply, listened carefully to the electorate, and absolutely did not learn the wrong lesson. Labor, under Anthony Albanese, […]
Satire
The Trump Family Cinematic Universe
Fresh from the record-shattering box office success of Melania – a film seen by dozens, emotionally processed by none, and forgotten by breakfast – the studio has announced an ambitious new franchise: a feature film […]
Health
The Afterlife of Failed Prime Ministers
There is a curious phenomenon in modern politics whereby leaders rejected by voters at home are reborn as sages abroad. It is a kind of political reincarnation, except instead of coming back as something wiser, […]
Politics
Melania: The Sequel
The UK release of Melania was meant to be a cinematic event – part political mythmaking, part glossy mystery, and part contractual obligation. Instead, it has reportedly played to audiences so small that ushers have […]
Politics
Department of Justice to investigate wealth accumulation everywhere except the obvious places
Donald Trump, a man who has spent his public life turning proximity to power into a revenue stream, now wants the Department of Justice to investigate Representative Ilhan Omar for being wealthy. Not for corruption […]
Politics
My visa application to the USA
So, I’m applying for a visa to the USA. The process is… thorough. They don’t just want to know if I’m a threat. They want to know if I’m a threat with good grammar. They […]
Politics
Rave Reviews, Apparently
Karoline Leavitt proudly declared that Donald Trump’s Davos speech “got rave reviews.” Which is true – provided you’re willing to broaden the definition of rave to include confusion, suppressed laughter, and the collective facial expression […]
Politics
The sound of one ego applauding: Trump at Davos
There are bad speeches, there are awkward speeches, and then there are speeches that wander onto the world stage, trip over their own shoelaces, and insist they meant to do that. President Donald Trump’s address […]
Politics
Dear Norway: It’s Me. About the Nobel
There are moments when satire feels redundant, because the material arrives already complete. President Trump has sent a diplomatic communiqué (or, more accurately, a grudge-text) to Norwegian Prime Minister Jonas Gahr Støre. It is a […]
Politics
The Nobel Peace Prize, Re-Gifted (Peace Through Strength™ Edition)
Donald Trump stands beneath the presidential seal, gripping a gold medal the way a game-show winner clutches an oversized cheque. The cameras whir. The aides clap a little too loudly. Beside him, María Corina Machado […]