Each day in the United States someone, somewhere, is running a poll on President Trump’s approval rating.
The standard questions are predictable.
His performance on the economy.
The border.
Inflation.
“Are you better off?”
“Do you even like him?”
Democrats are polled. Republicans. Independents. Suburban women. Rural men. College graduates. Non-college graduates.
The data pours in. Charts are produced. Panels debate.
But we felt something was missing.
So we asked one of our contacts in the United States to drill down further. Not just into demographics – into character.
Here’s what we found.
People who failed Grade 1:
A remarkably unified cohort. Trump recorded a 100% approval rating. When asked why, respondents cited “strong vibes” and “alphabet scepticism.”
People who own a cat:
Compassionate, reflective types. Often capable of sitting quietly with complex emotions. Trump scored 28% approval.
People who are owned by a cat:
A subtle but distinct subgroup. Displaying advanced levels of compliance training. Trump received 68% approval.
People who sing in the shower:
Optimists. Dreamers. Believers in key change. Trump came in at 33%.
People who prefer the window seat on a plane:
Individuals who enjoy controlling access to oxygen and the view. 82% approval.
People who clap when the plane lands:
Security-focused voters. Trump polled at 91%.
People who forward emails that begin with “This is being hidden from you”:
Near unanimous support. 97%, margin of error unknown because nobody checked.
People who comment “Do your own research” under medical advice:
Off the charts. The polling firm has asked to remain anonymous.
People who have ever typed in all caps:
Trump polled at 104%. The extra four per cent were very loud about it.
People who say “I’m not political” before saying something very political:
Split cohort. 50% approval. 50% denial they answered the survey.
People who think the moon landing looked staged:
Suspicious of shadows. Concerned about flag movement. Trump polled at 93%. Respondents remain unconvinced about “Big Gravity.”
People with very strong opinions about lawn edges:
Precision-focused voters. Believe borders should be crisp and deviations punished. 88% approval.
People who correct strangers’ grammar online:
Split cohort. 52% approval, 48% disapproval, 100% confidence they are right.
People who begin sentences with “Technically…”
High engagement. Moderate approval. Lengthy explanations. Trump scored 61%, though many respondents disputed the methodology.
People who still use a Bluetooth earpiece in public:
Security-conscious early adopters. Trump came in at 79%.
People who post photos of their steak with the caption “Real food”:
Strong approval at 84%. Margin of error increases near barbecue season.
People who have ever said “It’s just common sense” before proposing something legally questionable:
Approval rating reached statistical transcendence. The polling firm stopped counting at 100% to protect the spreadsheet.
People who reply “Source?” but never read it when provided:
Highly vocal demographic. Trump scored 73%, though 27% demanded a recount of the footnotes.
People who forward messages that say “The mainstream media won’t show you this”:
Overwhelming support. When asked for clarification, respondents provided a YouTube link.
People who clap when a politician says “Finally someone tells it like it is”:
Approval steady at 90%. Definition of “it” remains fluid.
The most surprising result?
People who read articles all the way to the end:
Overwhelmingly sceptical of dramatic polling swings. Low approval rating. High tolerance for nuance.
What this deeper analysis suggests is not that approval ratings are meaningless.
It suggests they are incomplete.
We measure age, income, education, race, geography.
We rarely measure disposition.
Are voters motivated by curiosity – or certainty?
By grievance – or optimism?
By complexity – or comfort?
Polls capture preference.
They do not always capture temperament.
And temperament, in the current era, may be the most predictive variable of all.
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As Amercia is discovering, it’s hard work carrying resentment around.
A more salient ‘view’ from UK….Epstein Files And The Massive Gap In Accountability
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A8NULe2q9S0
Bloody opinion polls.
It’s the same here in Australia with Poorleen and her “surge”. They are useless for anything except pushing the herd into a commont line of thought
Just as Sir humphrey stated, “One has to know the required outcome is before ones asks the question”. All that these polls are proving to trumpetarse and maga is that many Amerkins have completely lost the plot and will need “management and assistance” with any decision making for the upcoming mid-terms. That management might just be invoking enough fear in the normal thinking voter that they do not leave the house to vote on election day.
When Dumpster Donny starts a war with Iran, and there are Amerkin losses, how much will that change the temperament?
I’ve actually been on a plane when all the passengers clapped on touchdown.
A very tense time.
But IT’S NOT A HABIT!!
I’M NOT ONE OF THE 91%
I PROMISE!!
An informative article; thank you.
It is reported that, following the US Supreme Court decision on Trump’s tariffs, that some $US200 Billion could have been unlawfully syphoned off mainly from US consumers: Trump has not committed to returning those funds which makes it Theft.
Instead of eating humble pie and admitting that he illegally threw the American and global trading systems into chaos, Trump has instead sought to find other ways to get around the Supreme Court decision and find other ways to extract consumption taxes from the American people and gouge the global marketplace.
The American people are not fools, they see what is going on – the big challenge for American democracy will be ensuring that the mid-term elections are not compromised by Trump!
When Trump blows a valve, then what? They’ll get JD Vance for a while, then what? Elections of who? Will the GOP run JG Vance, Marco Rubio, Elon Musk, Stephen Miller, Peter Thiel or others going for a complete kakistocracy?