Donald Trump stands beneath the presidential seal, gripping a gold medal the way a game-show winner clutches an oversized cheque. The cameras whir. The aides clap a little too loudly.
Beside him, María Corina Machado beams, her smile frozen somewhere between gratitude and hostage-negotiation optimism. She has just presented Trump with an 18-karat validation token for what she calls his “extraordinary leadership,” otherwise known as the special-forces operation that removed Nicolás Maduro with the urgency of a late pizza pickup.
The symbolism is exquisite. A prize historically associated with non-violent resistance, moral courage, and painstaking diplomacy is now being ceremonially re-gifted as a thank-you for a military abduction. Gandhi spins. Martin Luther King Jr. sighs. Alfred Nobel briefly considers haunting someone.
Trump’s Truth Social post hits like a victory lap: “María presented me with her Nobel Peace Prize for the work I have done. Such a wonderful gesture of mutual respect. Thank you María!” Meanwhile, the Norwegian Nobel Committee is out there speed-tweeting clarifications like panicked HR reps: “A medal can change owners, but the title of a Nobel Peace Prize laureate cannot. Please return to sender if found in wrong hands.”
It’s the political equivalent of winning Employee of the Month because your coworker felt bad you got passed over last year, then framing the certificate and hanging it in your office anyway. Machado’s inscription? “To President Donald J. Trump in Gratitude for Your Extraordinary Leadership in Promoting Peace through Strength.” Translation: “Thanks for the special forces cameo – here’s some shiny validation. Now maybe back me as interim prez?” (Spoiler: Trump reportedly already lost interest in her leadership bid months ago when she didn’t publicly demand the prize go to him instead. Classic.)
The irony is thicker than the gold plating: A prize meant to honour tireless non-violent struggle against tyranny gets symbolically transferred in gratitude for a military abduction op. Next thing you know, Trump’s melting it down for a limited-edition MAGA coin collection or auctioning it on Truth Social to fund the wall around Mar-a-Lago.
If this doesn’t win Satire of the Year, nothing will. The Nobel just became the ultimate regift – peace prize edition. Your move, universe. What part of this timeline do you want to break next?
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Well said Roswell, this is beyond satire, beyond sycophancy, beyond common decency and confirms what many thought, the woman’s Nobel was a mistake. I know it’s popular these days to revile Maduro but we need to take into account the decades of economic strangulation applied to him and the country, not to mention the internal opposition fomented by those same countries (or that same country). Trump’s high-handed invasion and kidnapping was an act of war. The world’s condemnation has been far too muted. Fear?
Happy New Year, Rossleigh.
What a picture.
The Mango Madman grinning through clenched teeth as he struggles to hold his victory prize, and wondering why it doesn’t have a ribbon attached to the frame so that he can wear it like an Olympic Champion.
Ms Machado is standing there, frozen in place, thankful that she put on that GROK-proof underwear before she departed but jeeez it’s uncomfortable, wondering if she is going to be whisked off to Fantasy Island for some “fun times with the rich and famous”, abducted by ICE for having a not-white skin tone, or just grabbed on the arse by the Prez just because she’s there and Melanomia isn’t. None of this charade is going to get her into the driver’s seat, or save Venezuela, because she’s got tits and that just won’t work because extracting oil is a Man’s Job, but it was a nice flight, and the occasion has taken Donny’s mind off Greenland for ten minutes.
Talking about the frozen North, Trumpetarse’s pick for US Ambassodor to Iceland hit a snag the other day when that bloke, another rich, fat, balding, white, rightwing southerner with a penchant for gauche statements told the Icelanders that they would be so much more secure as Amerkins 52nd State. Global ownership by dergrees, but has this knocked Canada down to 53? Mr Carney will be so relieved.
I reckon all of the instant global mayhem created by Venezuela and Greenland must have Donny’s bestie Vlad the Invader masturbating himself silly. The EU and Nato countries have, almost overnight, switched their defence strategy from Europe’s eastern flank to the island nation/state of Greenland, and have booked several cruise liners already to get the requisite supplies in place before Donny decides where he would like to locate his Winter Palace. Volodmir and his fellow Ukrainians will be furious, and even more desperate. Would it be foolish of me to think that Vlad the Invader was just pulling his pet president’s strings, and orchestrated the entire operation in order to make his own expansion operations easier?
This cartoon by Fiona Katauskas is on todays Guardian
thhttps://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/picture/2026/jan/17/is-greenland-showing-trumps-true-colours
The inscription on the medal is wrong. It should read.
“EL NOB”
Is María Corina Machado to Donald Trump as Monica Lewinsky was to Bill Clinton?
The repulsive moron in the USA political saddle deserves prizes, to satisfy the childish sickness of mind and soul that spreads him out like wet babyshit in a nappy. How about a barbed wire suppository, of wisdom, of course, endorsed by bony phoney Toney, the Manly marvellous masturbator? World politics seems doomed by such shitterypoxery people.
Trump’s I Q has been ridiculed, mocked, exposed, on late nght T V. Some say he had a test at youth miltary school, quote low, and that disabilities made it very low (73). Hmn. Certainly Trump seems to be the most deficient political leader ever, so, who voted for this? Who comprehended? Who plotted him on, up, in? Who profits?
Phillip Adams when on Late Night Live would award a Koala Stamp to a guest or contributor who had made an exceptional contribution to the show.
Trump seems to need the same recognition on a daily basis, be it a manufactured Peace Prize from FIFA or a second-hand Nobel prize.
Perhaps humanity needs to settle on a daily award for this man-child : the Order of the DCM comes to mind.
I was about to reference Monica Lewinsky’s stained dress, but you beat me to it Canguro,
the main difference between the two events is that the Clinton/Lewinski matter was done in private, revealed later, but this event was very public, and probably not ‘salacious’ enough to become political ammunition.
Statement just received from María Corina Machado via X/Twitter
“I WILL not have sex with that person”
I recommend a truckload of foil-wrapped chocolate medals of the sort awarded to 5-year-olds at birthday parties, should be sent to the White House.
The Orange Oaf seems to attract chancers like a turd attracts blowflies.,Lotta shit hot comments here,very rewarding.What are we going to do to amuse ourselves when the Fanta Menace falls over?
Canguro. You’re a good man.
Thnx, M. 🙂 It’s the reciprocal of participating in this little island of sanity amidst the prevailing tempests that threaten to rip us asunder from our precious moorings.
If the greedy and grasping orange child in charge puts the crawling sycophant Machado in as president of Venezuela all it will achieve is replacing one dictator with another dictator (who will bend the knee to Donald) while lining her own pockets and getting revenge.
Surely ths is some sort of collective nightmare and we will wake up soon and realise it was all just a bad dream…
Trump in his escapades, “I didn’t want anybody to get hurt.”
Reminders of the great Rabelais’ escapades of giants ‘Gargantua and Pantagruel’. Whilst resting up in Paris, Gargantua observed:
“a juggler shall draw a greater confluence of people together than an evangelical preacher. … I will now give them their wine, but it shall be only in sport. Then smiling, he untied his fair braguette, and drawing out his mentul into the open air, he so bitterly all-to-bepissed them, that he drowned two hundred and sixty thousand, four hundred and eighteen, besides the women and little children. Some, nevertheless, of the company escaped this piss-flood by mere speed of foot, who, when they were at the higher end of the university, sweating, coughing, spitting, and out of breath, they began to swear and curse, some in good hot earnest, and others in jest.”
There’s nothing new. So Trumpian, a Pantagruel having to best his father Gargantua! Or should that be so Rabelaisian?
Then what of Pantagruel? He just faded away from people’s consciousness. At the end, as Rabelais reminds the doubters and complacent:
“Then be sure all you that take care not to die of the pip, be sure, I say, you take my advice, and stock yourselves with good store of such books as soon as you meet with them at the booksellers; and do not only shell those beans, but e’en swallow them down like an opiate cordial, and let them be in you; I say, let them be within you; then you shall find, my beloved, what good they do to all clever shellers of beans.”
All our great awakeners, have taken a leaf from the great Rabelais, yet many do not read, so just go on getting pissed on.