The system will improve as it “matures”, the government says. The question is, what’s actually growing?
INT. GOVERNMENT OFFICE – MEETING ROOM (UTOPIA)
Long table. Laptops open. Slide on screen:
Ø “Transition from KISS to CLUSTERF Framework”
Tony: We’re moving away from the KISS principle.
Nat: Keep It Simple, Stupid?
Tony: Yes. We found it limiting.
Jim: In what sense?
Tony: People could understand things.
Pause.
Everyone nods.
Tony (clicks): So we’ve introduced a more contemporary framework.
Ø CLUSTERF
Nat (writing): CLUSTERF…
She quietly adds a small “U” at the end.
Looks at it.
Closes the notebook.
Jim: What does it stand for?
Tony:
Ø C – Complexity
L – Layering
U – Uncertainty
S – Systemisation
T – Transformation
E – Escalation
R – Reform
F – Framework
Silence.
Nat: That’s… a lot.
Tony: It needs to be.
Jim: Why?
Tony: So no single person can follow it from start to finish.
Jim: Right.
Tony: Which protects the system.
Nat: From what?
Tony: Clarity.
Beat.
Jim: And the results?
Tony: Consistent.
Nat: In what way?
Tony: Consistently difficult to interpret.
Door opens.
Staffer: The system’s blocked another approval.
Tony: Good.
Staffer: What do we tell them?
Tony: Tell them it’s maturing.
Staffer leaves.
Jim (quietly): Something’s maturing.
Nat: Don’t open the fridge.
No one moves.
CUT TO: CLARKE & DAWE
Interviewer: Minister, there’s been some confusion about CLUSTERF.
Minister: Yes.
Interviewer: Some are confusing it with the military term.
Minister: Understandable, but incorrect.
Interviewer: In what way?
Minister: Ours is structured.
Interviewer: Structured?
Minister: It’s an acronym.
Interviewer:
And what does it stand for?
Minister:
Ø C – Complexity
L – Layering
U – Uncertainty
S – Systemisation
T – Transformation
E – Escalation
R – Reform
F – Framework
Interviewer: And what does it do?
Minister: It ensures consistency.
Interviewer: Consistency in what?
Minister: In that outcomes consistently reflect the framework.
Interviewer: Even if they don’t reflect the person?
Minister: The framework is very person-adjacent.
Interviewer: So why replace a simple system?
Minister: Because people could follow it.
Interviewer: And that created problems?
Minister: Expectations.
Interviewer: And CLUSTERF avoids that?
Minister: Entirely.
Interviewer: How?
Minister: By ensuring no part makes sense on its own.
Interviewer: Or together?
Minister: Ideally.
Interviewer: So this isn’t a clusterf-
Minister (quickly): No.
Interviewer: Not at all?
Minister: No. That would imply things went wrong.
Interviewer: And this hasn’t?
Minister: No. This is working exactly as designed.
Interviewer: And the system will improve?
Minister: As it matures.
Interviewer: Like a fine wine?
Minister: We believe so.
Interviewer (pause): Others have suggested… a different comparison.
Minister: Maturation can be misunderstood.
AFTERWORD
We’re told the system will be refined as it “matures”.
Let’s hope that maturation resembles good policy rather than a forgotten stool sample with a loose lid in a pathology fridge.
Because when complexity replaces clarity, and process replaces judgement, the outcomes don’t just become harder to understand.
They become harder to justify.
And much more expensive to fix.
Ø Pay now, or pay later – but later always costs more.
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