Someone saw me reading a review of Chris Nolan’s “The Odyssey” and asked if I were planning to go see it…
No, I said, which prompted him to say that he wasn’t either because he’s heard that it was based on a poem by Homer and he hasn’t watched “The Simpsons” for years because they’re just too woke…
“Sorry,” I said, adopting my superior tone when I know far more than the person I’m speaking to, “Homer Simpson wasn’t a real person, he was a cartoon character and he wasn’t the Homer who wrote the poem…”
“Who was?” he asked.
“A guy in Ancient Greece!”
“That can’t be healthy. Shouldn’t they take out the old grease and replace it…”
“The place, you fuckwit!”
Anyway, my resolution not to abuse people just because they’re idiots has taken quite a beating lately…
When I heard a few people say that Helen shoudn’t be black because it wasn’t historically accurate, I replied with: “And Matt Damon shouldn’t be Odysseus because the title character wasn’t American!”
“No, it’s a film, of course the hero will be American,” somone replied.
“That’s the point I was making,” I explained.
They all look confused.
“How is it a problem for Helen to be black when it’s not a problem that the main character isn’t Greek?” I offered.
“But Helen wasn’t black,” someone suggested.
“Helen didn’t exist, so she can be any colour the director decides…” I reply
“She couldn’t be green because then she’d just look sick and not beautiful…”
I take a deep breath. “I was being ironic!”
“So you admit that you were wrong then?
“What?”
“Isn’t that what ironic means… saying something wrong.”
“No,” I reply.
“Alanis Morrisette did this song and people said she was totally wrong about what the word meant,” offers someone else.
“Yes, I understand that because there was almost no example of irony in the song, but…”
“So irony is when you get things wrong,” asked someone.
“Not exactly. I could try and explain irony but it’s complicated and you still wouldn’t understand…”
“So you’re one of those ‘elites’ that think that they know more than other people just because they’ve read books and things…”
“Well, surely ‘reading books and things’ is one way to get knowledge…”
“But not the only way!”
“Of course, not the only way… Jesus!” I exclaim. “But surely reading books and studying is better than just asking the guy at the pub about a complicated subject.”
“I saw a thing on YouTube which said that all the so-called experts were only in it for the money so you couldn’t trust any of them.”
There were general nods of agreement.
“Anyway, back to the film. It’s a modern interpretation of an ancient poem so of course there’ll be things that aren’t exactly the same. It’s when they do versions of Robin Hood and have them all dressed in modern tights.”
“But Robin Hood did wear tights. I’ve seen the photos…”
At this point I begin to understand how Donald Trump got elected and how some people believe that the election was somehow stolen when he was president but the Democrats were unable to steal it when they had someone in the White House…
That made me laugh.
Ther is nothing wrong with going to see “The Oddysey” It is just a film, made about a mythological bloke and his exploits as he wandered around the Med on his way home after a long war. It is just a story, written by some other fella who may or may not have existed in a time long, long ago, and there is nothing more to it than that. Look at it as just a new take on StarWars….somewhere, on an ocean far. far back in time…..
At least with Homer and his various highly imaginary tales of bravery, treachery, deities and superhuman deeds nobody saw fit to turn the whole bloody saga into a religion, and on that basis alone “The Oddysey ” might be better viewing than the daily offerings of hack, burn and ruin from the same part of the world, also based on wildly imaginary tales with origins similar to those of Homer, and from the same ancient and unrecorded age.