Welcome to the United States of America. Please Hand Over Your Phone, Your Password, and Your Thoughts
There was a time when flying to America meant enduring a 17-hour flight, bad airline food, and a complimentary full-body scan that left you feeling oddly intimate with the X-ray technician. But now? Now the real thrill begins at immigration – where border agents don’t just want to know where you’re going, they want to know what you’ve been thinking.
According to recent reports, travellers entering the United States are being asked to unlock their phones and cough up their social media passwords. Why? To check if they’ve ever said anything remotely negative about Donald Trump, the Republican Party, or anyone with a red tie and a Fox News contract.
Welcome to the Department of Homeland Insecurity – where freedom of speech is fully respected unless you used it, in which case please step into this small room with no windows.
Now, I don’t want to panic, but if they ever check my phone, they won’t just tell me to go home; they’ll call in a special prosecutor, launch a Congressional inquiry, and interrogate me under fluorescent lighting for a solid month. By the end of it, I’ll be in an orange jumpsuit labelled “Enemy of the People” and forced to watch reruns of The Apprentice as punishment.
Can you imagine the agent reviewing my messages?
Border Agent: “Sir, we found a meme of Donald Trump photoshopped onto a chicken nugget.”
Me: “It was satire!”
Agent: “You also described him as ‘a cross between a malfunctioning vending machine and a Bond villain.’”
Me: “But a funny Bond villain!”
Agent: “You once tweeted that JD Vance has the personality of unsweetened porridge.”
Me: “I stand by that one.”
Apparently, the screening system uses a sophisticated algorithm – codenamed PATRIOT-FILTER – which flags phrases like “Trump is a menace,” “Republicans are embarrassing,” or “Please don’t let Marjorie Taylor Greene near sharp objects.”
One poor tourist was detained for simply typing “covfefe” and “what the hell?” in the same post.
The goal, I’m told, is to keep America safe from dangerous radicals – by which they mean people with opinions. It’s not enough to declare you’re not a terrorist anymore. You now have to prove you’ve never subtweeted Mitch McConnell or called Ted Cruz a walking conspiracy theory in a suit.
So, what’s the solution?
Delete your social media? Too late. They’ve got your likes, your retweets, your YouTube history, and that one time you called Trump’s hair “a tragic animal rescue situation.” (Honestly, fair.)
Or you can try this: arrive at U.S. customs dressed as a Trump supporter. Red hat, flag cape, matching socks. Praise the Second Amendment. Carry a Bible in one hand and a cheeseburger in the other. Mention Hillary Clinton exactly never. If they ask about your favourite founding father, just say “the one who invented tax cuts.”
Of course, if none of that works, you can always just do what the border agents really want:
Admit you were wrong. Swear allegiance to the Mar-a-Lago Golf Club. And promise – under oath – never to criticise Donald J. Trump again.
Then maybe, maybe, they’ll let you through.
Right after they finish checking your Google search history.
A traveller at JFK Airport tried to explain that calling Trump a ‘sentient spray tan’ was meant affectionately
Dear reader, we need your support
Independent sites such as The AIMN provide a platform for public interest journalists. From its humble beginning in January 2013, The AIMN has grown into one of the most trusted and popular independent media organisations.
One of the reasons we have succeeded has been due to the support we receive from our readers through their financial contributions.
With increasing costs to maintain The AIMN, we need this continued support.
Your donation – large or small – to help with the running costs of this site will be greatly appreciated.
You can donate through PayPal or credit card via the button below, or donate via bank transfer: BSB: 062500; A/c no: 10495969
The US is probably more anti freedom than China, North Korea, or Russia. We are lucky to live in Australia where freedoms are taken for granted. The US is experiencing a brain drain at present, people with expertise in a number of disciplines have been sacked and can be expected to look for work overseas. Promoting ignorance is a feature of what is happening in the US.
I find that even the left leaning are somewhat delusional, repeatedly calling America “the greatest country on earth”, savours of democracy and freedom. It’s perplexing, the US doesn’t even have universal healthcare, is building multiple concentration camps while gun violence places them the worst, all of which reads like a dictatorship, nothing resembling how they prefer to think of themselves.
Carol, apparently they are force-fed a diet of delusion.
I just came across this today, a 1997 article from the army war college. The out-of-touch with reality hubris is alarming.
There will be no peace. At any given moment for the rest of our lifetimes, there will be multiple conflicts in mutating forms around the globe. Violent conflict will dominate the headlines, but cultural and economic struggles will be steadier and ultimately more decisive. The de facto role of the US armed forces will be to keep the world safe for our economy and open to our cultural assault. To those ends, we will do a fair amount of killing.
Pilots and skippers, as well as defense executives, demand threat models that portray country X or Y as overtaking the military capability of the United States in 10 to 20 years. Forget it. Our military power is culturally based. They cannot rival us without becoming us. Wise competitors will not even attempt to defeat us on our terms; rather, they will seek to shift the playing field away from military confrontations or turn to terrorism and nontraditional forms of assault on our national integrity. Only the foolish will fight fair.
Not long ago, the Russians were going to overtake us. Then it was oil-wealthy Arabs, then the Japanese. One prize-winning economist even calculated that fuddy-duddy Europe would dominate the next century (a sure prescription for boredom, were it true). Now the Chinese are our nemesis. No doubt our industrial-strength Cassandras will soon find a reason to fear the Galapagos. In the meantime, the average American can look forward to a longer life-span, a secure retirement, and free membership in the most triumphant culture in history. For the majority of our citizens, our vulgar, near-chaotic, marvelous culture is the greatest engine of positive change in history.
Freedom works.
In the military sphere, it will be impossible to rival or even approach the capabilities of our information-based force because it is so profoundly an outgrowth of our culture. Our information-based Army will employ many marvelous tools, but the core of the force will still be the soldier, not the machine, and our soldiers will have skills other cultures will be unable to replicate.
https://press.armywarcollege.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1829&context=parameters
Steve, what an interesting article…. delusional? Perhaps.
On reading stuff about the various empires through history, the Chinese decided, after a bit of an extension into what became Russia, that having military posts in such far flung places was not worth the cost or the effort.
I think of the USA with its 700 or so military bases spread across the globe, and wonder at the cost of it, wonder how long that can be sustained.
I also think about the average life of empires as being somewhere between 200 and 250 years, that the end is pretty much nigh, so will we see an implosion through the America First thinking of Trump?
Will we see the collapse of the economic power as the effect of tariffs take place?
Will we see the population rise up in a civil war of sorts? God knows there are enough guns in the hands of any ‘civilian militia’ that can organise itself.
Interesting times ahead I think.
When he declares martial law and orders troops to shoot their own citizens , maybe then the American people will see for the first time what has happened. They should be seeing it now – some are, but not enough.
Don’t go there, don’t buy American, just try to offer moral support to any poor souls that you know are living there
Bert, you’re right about the militia.
I saw the other day that community groups are forming in California to do patrols to protect the homeless.
If the report is correct, that’s a sign of a society that’s about to fold.
I think you’re right Steve..in the land of the free, home of the brave,Superman,John Wayne and every other ridiculous invention, it signifies a collapsing empire.
I hope the government here finds their courage,or we’ll go down with them.
The yanks, and by the extension of their influence, have been conditioning us all to their MIC, corporate, killing,bullshit.
Well we ALL knew it would happen – just not unfolding as quickly and deadly as it is! Now we have the Trumpet’s born-to-rule, totally irrational regime turning America into an uncompromising, dictatorial Police State attempting to control, regulate and even police what people say, think or write about him is staggering but, sadly, not that surprising! REALLY? My God, Dangerous Don is an even worst fascist than we thought but were too terrified to anticipate how rapidly everything went to hell in a handbasket!
When ordinary working- and middle-class fools were manipulated, self-serving enough, uneducated, racist or misinformed enough to elevate such an abhorrently undemocratic, unspeakably amoral and totally ruthless political psychopath like Dangerous Don – who is not only a SIX TIMES’ bankrupt, a notorious misogynistic predator but, also, a thoroughly remorseless CONVICTED CRIMINAL – they can be compared to Turkeys voting for Christmas! Dangerous Don is now insanely intent on absolutely devastating America’s economy; defunding EVERY benevolent, charitable and (very worryingly) Judicial and/or Watchdog programs set up to limit or quash the wild excesses and criminal behaviour of megalomaniacal narcissists like Dangerous Don who is now aggressively antagonising nations outside of America including (once) long-term allies like Australia, Canada, the UK and other nations throughout the world!
Dangerous Don is not only a reckless intellectual midget, he seems determined to initiate WW3 in order to flex his muscles, test his megalomaniacal power and re-affirm his mind-numbing ego that has reached such a stratospheric level, it requires its own oxygen mask! There can be no doubt that the insanity, inhumanity and fascism being wrought on America by the lunatic, Dangerous Don, will ensure that the level of overseas visitors with enough courage (or lack of discernment) to visit that nation will substantially reduce. Already, tourism has dropped by 30% to America – as long as the Trumpet is mismanaging America into oblivion, that figure will SUBSTANTIALLY reduce negatively impacting the businesses and livelihoods of so many Americans (even those foolish enough to vote for Trump), especially those who have anything to do with the tourist industry (see link below) ….
https://www.forbes.com/sites/suzannerowankelleher/2025/07/03/us-tourism-lose-29-billion-trump-policies/
Dangerous Don is an irrational narcissist, a destroyer, an annihilator who’s only dubious achievement is to MAKE AMERICA HATE AGAIN. The tragedy that he is even destroying the lives of the foolish people who so stupidly continue to support him comes under the heading of: KARMA.
How stupid does one have to be to want to visit Trumpistan???
Carol, you’ve just given me an idea for my next article. “The greatest democracy on Earth.” I could have fun with that one.
From the SMH yesterday, this piece by British historian Niall Ferguson:
The ticking time bomb in Trump’s big beautiful bill, in which he argues that “when a country’s interest payments on debt eclipse its military expenditure, the collapse of empire cannot be far away,” and that is now the reality for the USA. Tipping points, black swan events, madness in the upper echelons… implosion or explosion yet to be determined but safe to say the party’s over.
One is still waiting for Trump’s local enablers, fan boys and girls to be scrutinised and held to account by media, politicians and elites vs viewing all offshore events as a way to wedge the ALP government?
Example 1 Howard, Abbott et al in ARC Alliance for Responsible Citizenship with whiff of eugenics, white Christian nationalism, conspiracy theories and Kremlin influence.
Example 2 Fox Board Abbott’s part time presence via the Danube Institute in Hungary supported by the government* PM ‘mini Putin’ Orbán blows out agitprop including anti-semitism, Islamophobia and anti-immigrant tropes (Soros conspiracy helped by Netanyahu aides), pedophile scandals, working age emigration, corruption, Chinese and Russian influence, latter includes GRU and FSB types overpopulating Budapest.
*EU is now warning member states in their defence & security areas on the latter, avoid Hungary which begs the question, wtf is Abbott doing there (with a Russian speaking advisor & former Ambassador based in Budapest, but not public knowledge)?
Example 3 One of the original Fox News founders with Roger Ailes migrated to Russia years ago to set up Tsargrad TV, in turn a private Greek network too; promoting anti-Ukraine and anti-EU talking points.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tsargrad_TV
It’s not just the passiveness of Australia’s noisy media elites, but how both left and right shout about issues offshore or even non existent to wedge the centre or be wedged, but ignore Murdoch, Atlas-Koch and Tanton influence in Australia; ditto same players in ‘sovereign’ post Brexit UK…..
The same enablers around Trump, but it was Fox News which created the Frankenstein, and PR theatre around Murdoch’s supposed dislike for Trump, and love for immigrants and freedom….. hope they didn’t get caught up in Russian influence, whether US (in ’80s Murdoch shared Trump’s attorney infamous Roy Cohn) or via Londongrad?
Makes me wonder what would happen if, huge IF, someone went to the US without a mobile, laptop and other sorted electronic goods with the intention of buying such items while there rather than risking bringing their personal goods with them. I can see them being frogmarched off for interrogation and then dumped on the next flight out.
Simple solution: don’t go there. Boycott the entire country except for the sane online content creators. Build a metaphorical wall of our own, all around the place and leave them to their misery.
Of course, that doesn’t deal with the issue of TacoTits’ possession of nuclear launch codes …
Due to my time in aerospace, I had a govt sponsored clearance and an extended visa to travel to America. Just before 9/11 I had seen and experienced enough in my international travels of just how the US managed the ‘sponsored clearance’, and very quickly got out of the industry. From 9/11 it turned from tedious to filthy and scary.
Today, there is absolutely no way I would travel to the USA for any reason whatsoever. Albeit, I could still be on their ‘bother list’ no matter where I go, so I’m staying put.