If Trump Won’t Sell Me Hawaii, I’ll Do Something… Or Not!

Man selling pineapples at outdoor market stand.

The funny thing about the United States…

The United States… Now there’s an oxymoron if I ever heard one!

Anyway, the funny thing is how strongly some of its people defend its beliefs and values and stands up for democracy and free speech and its Constitution and all the rest of that stuff, but throw it away as soon as someone offends them. And by “offend” I mean committing some crime or misdemeanour such as possessing the wrong political beliefs or the wrong skin shade…

You only have to look at social media to see things like:

“Good on ICE for dragging that leftist out of the car and beating the shit out of them. That’ll teach them to protest!”

“Disagreeing with the President is a form of treason.” (Unless the POTUS is a Democrat)

“People with names like that shouldn’t be allowed to stand for Congress. This is America!”

And so on. There seems to be a trend to say that anyone who gets in the way of law enforcement deserves everything that happens, completely ignoring the fact that some of the things that they’re calling “law enforcement” are actually ICE officers acting outside the law but, hey, if a group of masked men demand to see your papers, then you just hand them over, right? There’s no need to get in their way by asking such questions as, “Who are you and is this…Ow, hey, you didn’t need to break the car window…”

Of course, when the Great Orange Hope ignores a court order or does something that he has no legal right to do, well, he is the President and all these silly rules and Constitutional things are just a bit complicated and who wrote the Constitution anyway?

Basically it’s time to for the rest of the world to stop paraphrasing Neville Chamberlain and saying, “Piss in our time”, and tell Trump that enough is enough and the whole tariff thing just makes it impossible to do business with you, so impose whatever tariffs you like because it actually IS the American public who pay them and if you’re too stupid to realise that, well…

As for Greenland, Trump is now making threats that unless Denmark agrees to sell then he’ll put tariffs of ten percent rising to 25% on all the countries that are opposing his Iron Will. There’s a two week deadline which, if they don’t agree by then and he follows the path he used with Russia, then he’ll give them an even shorter deadline followed by a shrug of the shoulders and a move on to the next thing that’ll keep the Epstein files off the front page!

I think we should tell Trump that we want to buy Hawaii…or Alaska. Actually we might get a good deal on California…

Speaking of getting a good deal, I can’t help but wonder why nobody’s noticed the obvious.

The obvious:

Imagine your child has a lot of Taylor Swift paraphernalia and someone knocks on the door and says that they want to buy it. The child says they don’t want to sell. The potential buyer demands that you sell or else he’ll just come back and take it by force. You say, that you’ll put up a fight. Then he says that he’ll charge you money to drive past his house. You say, “Fine, but I don’t care, I’ll drive home a different way.” He reiterates that he needs the Taylor Swift stuff. He must have it. It’s necessary to ensure that nobody else gets it. He…

Ok, you get the drift. But did you notice the thing that’s missing in all of this?

Yes, what’s the offer?

Seriously, in most of the sales I’ve been involved with, whether for a house or a car or something else, when it comes to negotiations one of the main things is the price. If I go to the car yard and insist that the sell it to me, they’ll say ok – because car salesmen are there to sell cars – but then we’ll have to work out a price. On the other hand, I wouldn’t go to the house next door and say that I want to build an extension and you have to agree to sell it to me before I’ve even mentioned a price. That might work for Don Corleone but my next door neighbour probably doesn’t want to sell but he certainly would like to hear a number before he said, “Yes, that’s fine. I’ll sell. You pick a price and just let me know…”

So, Mr Trump. I want the White House. Throw in Hawaii. Agree to this now or we’ll make Michaelia Cash our next Ambassador to your country. This will be one time you don’t want to take Cash…


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About Rossleigh 96 Articles
Rossleigh is a writer, director and education futurist. As a writer, his plays include “The Charles Manson Variety Hour”, “Pastiche”, “Snap!”, “That’s Me In The Distance”, “48 Hours (without Eddie Murphy)”, and “A King of Infinite Space”. His acting credits include “Pinor Noir Noir” for “Short and Sweet” and carrying the coffin in “The Slap”. His ten minute play, “Y” won the 2013 Crash Test Drama Final.

5 Comments

  1. What we are missing here is that today it’s Greenland and tomorrow it could be New Zealand with Tasmania thrown in as a sweetener.

    Greenland could take note of the strategy adopted in the Peter Sellers’ movie The Mouse That Roared and instantly announce that a state of war exists between them and the USA and demand reparations and aid.

  2. Terry,

    The book (and the four sequels) is funnier and somewhat political than the movie.

    The Donalds delusional obsession with Greenland puts me in mind of, paraphrased:

    Vance: “Gee, Donald, what are we gonna do tonight?”

    Donald: “The same thing we do every night: try to take over Greenland!”

  3. The long term goal of Trump is hard to understand. He is not immortal and there will be limited time for him to enjoy these things that he greedily aspires to gain.

  4. Yes Terry Mills.
    But that’s not the point. It’s Trump’s loser pathology, and his ‘Art of the Deal’ fairy tale. And in this instance, his patent nonsense about Russian and Chinese military aggression against America across the Arctic oceans. Big it up Donnie.

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