President Trump has dismissed claims that his early departure from the G7 summit was a diplomatic misstep, instead framing it as a “calculated act of supreme genius” that left world leaders in awe.
Addressing reporters on the White House South Lawn in a speech that veered from press conference to freeform soliloquy, Trump elaborated on his G7 strategy, his views on global affairs, and the unmatched greatness of his leadership.
“I didn’t leave the G7 early because I was upset – no way,” Trump said, pointing emphatically at an empty sky. “I outsmarted them all. I got what I needed, which was to be gone. They were stunned by my brilliance. It’s called winning.”
Insiders revealed Trump grew restless during a G7 breakfast session on trade and climate, bristling at the term “multilateral” and muttering that the eggs “tasted imported.” Sources say French President Emmanuel Macron’s quizzical glance may have sparked what aides call a “Level 10 Mood Shift.”
Global leaders offered measured reactions:
Canadian Prime Minister Mark Carney: “It wasn’t exactly a storm-out. More like he got lost looking for the exit.”
UK Prime Minister Keir Starmer: “I’m convinced he thinks the G7 is a reality TV contest. He kept asking when the judges would vote.”
Anonymous EU Official: “By dodging Australia’s Albanese, he handed Murdoch’s media a screaming headline. Classic distraction.”
Trump, however, insists his exit was a triumph.
“Macron was trying to outmaneuver me. Carney was scheming. The German guy – too smiley, very fishy,” he said. “So I pulled the plug. Like I did with that Paris climate thing. You can’t cage a genius.”
On Iran, a contentious summit topic, Trump struck a dual tone:
“I’m tough as nails, but also open. I told Iran, ‘Don’t test us – unless you want a meeting. Or maybe missiles. Depends on my schedule.’ That’s how you lead.”
Later, on social media, Trump doubled down:
“FAKE NEWS says I stormed out of G7. LIES! I executed a TACTICAL EXIT. I’d already CRUSHED IT. Leaders BEGGED me to stay, but America needed me to make it GREATER! #G7Genius #TotalWin”
Former National Security Advisor John Bolton, now a pundit, praised the move: “Leaving early is pure alpha. It’s like winning an argument by setting the room on fire. They’re still reeling.”
Asked if he’d spoken to Germany’s Chancellor before departing, Trump replied: “He was just sitting there, all serious. Like Mitch McConnell but with less exuberance. I told him, ‘Lighten up,’ and that’s when I knew it was time to jet.”
Trump also claimed responsibility for a “powerful metaphor” when he inadvertently toppled a Canadian flag while grabbing a Diet Coke.
“That was intentional,” he said. “A message to Canada: respect America, or your flag’s going down.”
In a Newsmax interview that evening, Trump escalated his narrative: “Few people know this, but the G7 leaders wanted to crown me King of the Summit. I said, ‘No thanks, America doesn’t do kings. Definitely no kings.’ Very flattering, though. I think it was Macron who said it. Or someone.”
As allies grapple with the fallout and diplomats exchange puzzled glances, Trump remains adamant that his unwritten, unspoken plan is unfolding flawlessly. “It’s all in here,” he said, tapping his temple. “Pure genius.”
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He cleverly tantalised the fake media about whether he would use a B-2 Bomber to deliver a bunker-busting bomb in Iran. He told the waiting media “you don’t know what I’m going to do and I don’t know what I’m going to do and if I decide to do something you won’t get to hear about it until it’s over.”
There is no doubt this man has brought a new meaning to the term genius.
Incidentally, it was brought to my notice that the last time America had a monarch it was George III known as the mad king due to is mental delusions : how history repeats itself !
There is a name for this syndrome.