Donald Trump’s military parade was meant to be a nation-building triumph, a chest-thumping spectacle of tanks and MAGA glory. Instead, it was a damp squib – sparse crowds, soggy fields, and a vibe flatter than a deflated balloon. The humiliation must’ve burned, leaving Trump raging and itching for a scapegoat. Enter the G7 summit in Kananaskis, Alberta, where world leaders became his punching bag.
Still smarting from the parade hangover, Trump rolled into the G7 like he owned the joint, strutting with “I’m the boss” energy. Spoiler: Canada’s Mark Carney was chair, not him. But why let facts ruin a good sulk? Trump, probably mistaking himself for the summit’s kingpin, turned the diplomatic gathering into a one-man circus – part tantrum, part sitcom.
First, the photo op. World leaders huddle for the G7 family portrait, but Trump’s late, likely tweeting that parades are “overrated.” When he finally shows, he’s got the petulance of a kid who didn’t get the biggest slice of cake. His big moment? A history lesson that flunked the test. Trump doubled down on readmitting Russia to the G7, blaming Barack Obama and Justin Trudeau for booting Putin in 2014 over Crimea. One hitch: Trudeau wasn’t PM then – Stephen Harper was. Eyes rolled so hard they nearly popped out. His quip that Putin “speaks to me, not them” didn’t help, hinting at cozy chats that left allies chilly.
The rest of the summit saw Trump battling gravity – and losing. Plenty snicker on social media about him struggling to stay awake, his ego battery drained from the parade flop. A packed schedule and jet lag might explain the droopy eyelids, but it’s funnier to imagine him dreaming of bigger crowds in DC.
Sensing he wasn’t the belle of the ball, Trump pulled the ultimate diva move: he bailed early, citing Middle East drama – backing Israel and warning Iran to “evacuate Tehran” (yikes). Social media chatter smelled a tantrum, with some saying Carney shut down his “deluded monologue.” Others reckon he dodged tariff talks or pushback on Russia. Either way, ditching a summit to fire off threats isn’t exactly Churchill material.
Back on Air Force One, Trump’s X account lit up like a poker machine. He slammed French President Macron, trashed Tucker Carlson (of all people), and doubled down on Iran sabre-rattling. It’s classic Trump: when bruised – like after the parade’s low turnout – Truth Social becomes his therapy couch.
The Funny Side
It’s pure comedy gold. Trump’s G7 performance was like a toddler crashing a board meeting: wrong names, loud boasts, early bedtime, and a trail of grumpy tweets. Social media users are eating it up, with one calling him a “spoiled brat” who pouted and fled to “attack Iran to feel strong.” Another branded him a “terrorist” for his Putin love and Tehran threats. Picture it: Trump mixing up Trudeau with Harper, half-snoozing mid-meeting, rage-tweeting from 30,000 feet. It’s Curb Your Enthusiasm meets geopolitics.
His parade flop set the stage. Storming into the G7 to flex on world leaders was classic deflection – nothing soothes a bruised ego like picking a fight with allies. MAGA spinmeisters tried to sell the parade as a billion-person triumph, but Trump’s G7 antics scream a man desperate to change the channel.
The Grim Reality
The laughs fade when you zoom out. Trump’s Russia remarks rattled allies, his early exit fractured G7 unity, and his Iran rhetoric spiked global tensions. Reports warn of a “fragmented G7” and a “global economy adrift,” with experts sounding alarms. The parade’s failure might’ve fueled his petulance, but the stakes – trade wars, Ukraine, the Middle East – are no joke.
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I’m surprised he didn’t have tears streaming down his face as ran away because the nasty people wouldn’t go down on their knees in awe at being allowed to bask in the presence of the Orange Messiah. They have learned how to treat the tiresome turgid toddler and he doesn’t like it one little bit.
Toddler tantrums are ok in two-year-olds but not in the person arguably (very arguably now) the leader of the free world. Reports are starting to emerge that Trump was pulled out of the G7 early because his staff feared longer exposure would show up his declining faculties. ( his social posts seem to indicate a loss of perspective). If this is correct then it is up to those closest to him to call it out. Macron might be one to start it having copped the full Trump insult treatment.
I note that Trump is now playing hide and seek with Iran’s Supreme Leader Ali Khamenei.
“We know exactly where the so-called ‘Supreme Leader’ is hiding,” Trump wrote on Truth Social.
“He is an easy target, but is safe there – We are not going to take him out, at least not for now. But we don’t want missiles shot at civilians, or American soldiers. Our patience is wearing thin.”
Netanyahu will no doubt take exception to Trump’s we don’t want missiles shot at civilians as that is precisely his MO as well as assassinating opposition Leaders so that there is no point in dialogue as there is nobody left to talk to.
In this mad world that Donald Trump and his acolytes have brought to us, self defence has been redefined from meaning : the use of reasonable force to protect oneself or members of the family from bodily harm from the attack of an aggressor, if the defender has reason to believe he/she/they is/are in danger to now mean kicking the shit out of an opponent when they are least expecting it
irony and satire no longer have a place, they’ve sucked all the meaning out of our language with their alternative facts.
And Pete Kegstand has now announced that Greenland is part of “homeland USA” and has unilaterally shifted responsibility for its defence from U.S. European Command to U.S. Northern Command. It looks more and more like they’re planning an invasion.
McKenzie is a bloody moron! Why doesn’t she go over there to plead with the Orange Emperor.
https://www.news.com.au/national/politics/get-on-the-plane-albo-senators-plea-to-anthony-albanese/news-story/195b9509e16afb99568d8f1d947e4de9
Mad Man Trump, what a farce. Do we have to witness a nuclear tragedy before Americans realise this man could blow the whole world up just to satisfy his grand delusions, narcissism, dementia, ‘I go everyone goes to the grave with me’… No room for all of us in demented MAGA Pharaoh’s tomb, many of us feel like we are already there – friends and allies alike, that is if he has any left!
Even so, there was still plenty of back slapping. Friendly grins from world leaders when Trump showed up. Just take notice of reactions. Makes you wonder at what is going on here.
An article in Politico titled “Iran’s Target Isn’t Just Israel. It’s Us.” written bt Mathias Dopfner sees the threat of Iran and a nuclear armed Iran as a threat to just about very one, not just Israel. and Israel’s strike against Iran as being “not just self-defence but is the front line in a broader clash of freedom versus tyranny.”
It is an interesting view on conflicts and threats, where perceived threats have been used to pre-emptively strike in the Middle East particularly, consider Iraq as a possible example, but justified because even though there was no threat the invasion was justified because Saddam Hussien was an evil bastard and would have had weapons of mass destruction if he could have, and likewise with Iran who have repeatedly claimed that the nuclear enrichment programme is for peaceful purposes…. remember way back before the Ayatollas took over, westinghouse was building nuclear reactors in Iran, the enrichment programme was started to power those plants. But despite their repeated assertions that they have no desire to build a bomb, we cannot trust them because they are evil, right?
History is so easily forgotten when it does not suit our purposes, so easily distorted to see enemies and threats to justify attacks as ‘self defence’.
It really does beggar the question of who the real terrorists are.
Is Islamic fundamentalism a real threat to American and Israeli hegemony or is the defence of that hegemony the threat to peaceful coexistence?
Or could it be that because the big beautiful parade of military might was a bit ho-hum, a bunker busting bomb could show that world the military might of the US and how it is used to protect the Netanyahu regime in Israel.
Bert, I’m writing about that very thing. Stay tuned.