In a move that has sent shockwaves through Parliament House, Senator Jacinta Nampijinpa Price has dramatically quit the Nationals to join the Liberal Party, declaring it her “sacred duty” to rescue the floundering conservatives from “woke oblivion.”
The defection, announced via a fiery press conference backed by a suspiciously well-timed social media blitz, has left political insiders reeling – or at least pretending to (for the sake of click bait).
Price, known for her unapologetic conservatism and ability to make inner-city leftists break out in hives by sheer mention of her name, framed her departure as a “natural evolution.”
“The Nationals are the backbone of regional Australia, but the Liberals? They’re the spine – and right now, they’ve got the structural integrity of a soggy Weet-Bix,” she declared, in what may be the first recorded instance of a politician using breakfast cereal as a party metaphor.
“The Nationals were lovely, but I need to bring my A-game to the Liberals, who are currently about as inspiring as a stale damper [not to be confused with soggy Weet-Bix].” Her plan? To infuse the party with her signature blend of no-nonsense grit and flair, promising to “make the Liberals great again” – a phrase she insists is just a coincidence, not a nod to her MAGA hat photo that’s still haunting social media. Rumor has it she’s already drafted a manifesto titled “Back to the Bush: Liberal Edition,” complete with plans to audit Welcome to Country funding and replace it with something that won’t be announced – with costings – until after the next election.
The Nationals, left scratching their heads, issued a statement: “We wish Jacinta well, but we’re keeping the ute keys.”
Nationals leader David Littleproud, when asked for comment, offered a strained smile and muttered something about “respecting her decision” before hastily exiting stage left.
Price’s arrival comes at a dire time for the Liberals, a party currently resembling less a united movement and more a group chat where half the members have muted each other. Between moderates whispering about “modernisation” and the right flank demanding a return to “traditional values” (circa 1953), the party’s internal cohesion makes Game of Thrones look like a teamwork seminar.
One anonymous Liberal MP (read: every Liberal MP) confessed: “Look, we’re thrilled Jacinta is here. But if she thinks it is possible to ‘fix’ us without a time machine, tell her she’s dreamin’.”
Liberal ornament John Howard, however – still reeling from the election loss of his beloved party – welcomed her with open arms, muttering, “At least someone’s got a pulse around here.” Party insiders speculate Jacinta’s eyeing a leadership tilt, with some whispering she’s the “Menzies reincarnated” the party needs. Others, less charitably, call it a power grab, suggesting she’s less “rebuilding” and more “redecorating with dynamite.” Meanwhile, other senior Liberals oscillated between cautious optimism and sheer panic.
As expected, the commentariat lost no time in spinning the defection to fit pre-existing narratives:
Sky News: “A Conservative Warrior Heeds the Call! Leftists Tremble!”
The Guardian: “Price’s Move Signals Further Rightward Lurch for Already Moribund Liberals.”
ABC’s Insiders Panel: Five people talking over each other for 12 minutes.
On the ground, Territorians are split. Some cheer her bold move, seeing her as a warrior for practical change – others reckon she’s just stirring the pot for a reality TV spin-off, Survivor: Parliament House. Social media is ablaze with memes, from Jacinta riding a dune buggy into the Liberal party room to Angus Taylor handing her a toolbox labeled “Fix This Mess.” One post even quipped, “She’s the spark the Liberals need – or the match to burn it all down!”
What Now? A Prognosis
Can Price actually “rebuild” the Liberals? Political analysts suggest the challenges are… considerable.
Pros: She’s media-savvy, polarising (a plus in modern politics), and gives the Liberals a much-needed jolt of energy.
Cons: The party’s problems run deeper than branding – think “identity crisis meets demographic oblivion” – and no single MP, no matter how charismatic, can fix that overnight.
So, as the sun sets over the outback, Jacinta’s mission begins. Will she resurrect the Liberals or leave them a smoldering wreck? Stay tuned – this political soap opera’s got more twists than a dusty stock route!
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Yep.
Sadly – in the spirit of the robust language of certain impolite unwoke circles who refer to JNP as a ‘coconut’ – this narcissistic ex-Nat is a traitorous rising star, having learned at her mother’s knee not merely the basic (un)principles of survival, but the material salvation that political power brings.
While hubris shall implode her star before long, the gold parked under the family mattress and the corporate job offers will make for a cosy life after politics. And all will be forgotten except by the indigenous communities to which she pledged her troth.
She doesn’t have much support amongst the urban indigenous folk I know and work with in Brisbane, and I seriously doubt that that will change with her “re-alignment”
She surely follows Trump in her espousal of sacred duty and being the libs sorely needed saviour. The rest of us just see delusions of grandeur .
Shock waves?
Hardly a ripple really.
I see that Jacinta is just headline hunting, the more divisive the headline the better it will suit her as she takes the Libs closer to the whirling eddy that leads to the drainpipe.
I don’t know about powerhouse, something outback house more appropriate. The Liberals will regret this, she is a time bomb, a not too bright narcissist and a very sore loser and a great hater.
Her self belief is delusional and she will split the Liberals into many pieces before she is done.
I bet most are hearing this news in horror and the Nationals are well rid of her.
My money is on she will never win a Lower House Seat, so they are stuck with their self created problem for 6 years. She can do no harm to Labor, but wow, look out the few Liberal leftovers, between her and Timmy Wilson, we are in for some fun times.
I like your suggestion, Sully. I’ll change the title.
New title: From Outback to Outhouse: Jacinta’s Liberal Reboot
Untalented for this type and level of politics, unaware, uncontrolled, unfettered, untruthful usually, unhappy permanently (??), unwanted really, unctuously unmuffled…but, indigenous matters need representation, any way.
Yep, a Taylor (Agus) made Headline, Roswell lol.
Jacinta:
I’m not sure how to tell you this, but “spine” and “backbone” are synonyms (that means “different words that mean the same thing”).
Levee, it’s Roswell’s interpretation of what she might say, not a quote (at least not one I’ve heard from her.
Also being a Territory Senator she has to stand every three years, doesn’t get six as State Senators do.
Finally, from me, she was a traitor to her race over the Voice and now a traitor to the Nats.
I reckon when she realises they are out of power for at least the next two terms she will accept a lucrative offer from some resources company which, like her, believes she is tapped into the Indigenous community. I predict both will come 7nstuck.
Leefe, this is satire. I wrote it.
Romeo, you picked it. “Spine” as in they need to grow one. Their spine is like a soggy Weet-Bix. In other words, they lack one.
Yep, Price is going to a great benefit to the Libs:
https://www.news.com.au/national/youre-a-nobody-senator-jacinta-nampijinpa-price-in-hotel-confrontation/news-story/01102a9be63bbc7008c0e890228d94b5
I know I can be hard but I wouldn’t go outhouse, me. Too easily interpreted as a racist slur.
There’s a line I’ve noticed that occasionally gets crossed in certain political commentary contexts where the temptation to misogyny, racism, homophobia, transphobia, etc, etc, by those thus inclined becomes irresistible – in the social media group dynamic, for example.
It’s tricky.
Apologies all; obviously the satire/sarcasm/irony detector is not working tonight.
Herbert, I can’t see how referring to the Liberal Party as a dunny is a racist slur.
Taking her lead from Deborah Mailman maybe?
Opportunities for parody abound. JNP’s purported manifesto titled “Back to the Bush: Liberal Edition” could be prefaced with ‘Abandon the Brazilian.’
Challenging, indeed, given the population distribution stats of this country; 73% concentration within the major cities, 25% in inner and outer regional areas, and remote & very remote regions garnering 1.9% of the mix.
Realistically, very few citizens of this country have any relationship with, or knowledge of, ‘the Bush’.
Did I err in publishing this piece?
No Roswell. you did nor err
Price is not the “proud Aboriginal” she likes to think she is. She is little more than traitor to the Aborigine people and she helped Dutton to destroy ‘The Voice’ referendum and put back any great hopes of representation which The Ulhuru Statement asked for. She wormed her way into the Liberal Party’s acceptance by her cringing and woeful denial of history.
She has said:”Colonialism has been good for indigenous people.”
“There are no ongoing negative impacts”
“Colonisation had a positive impact.”
And more ….
She is a disgrace. She has denied all the history – well recorded- of people from her own ancestry.
The Sydney Morning Herald 18th April said that you could have dinner with Jacinta if you coughed up $10,000.
Who – in their right minds would want to?
The National’s are well rid of her after her defection to the Liberal Party – where “Her heart has always been.”( Another quote)
the NT has 4 seats – 2 in each house – senators will always be 1 labor 1 clp.
3 pollies are working for the NT and Australia the 4th is for herself.
The next election 2028 price will need endorsement by the clp(Sully, territory senators only get 3 years) and why would they select a loose cannon???
ps my last letter to the NTNews
…. there’s been a gain for the Nats and a discount of price for the libs for she is another drumpton which is the last thing the nats or libs need(Albo is all smiles)..
Dear Jacinta, the senate is a gift seat to whomever the CLP chooses and it would be sensible for them to dump a loose cannon.