I won’t be posting for a while because I’m working on a movie screenplay. Tell me what you think.
Scene: A Cafe Somewhere In A Galaxy Far, Far Away…
Johannes: Guten Morning…
Henrik: Guten Day.
(Translator’s note: I don’t speak any other languages so I’m just going to force these two people to accept that they should be speaking English even though they’re in some other country in the 1940s)
Johannes: Have you heard about Hans?
Henrik: Hans? Which Hans? There are so many Hans in this country…
Johannes: It’s a productivity thing now that the Germans have taken over. Many Hans make light work…
Henrik: That is a very poor joke and if I report you the Nazis would treat you roughly because they have no sense of humour…
Johannes: Don’t call them Nazis, just because they are actual Nazis… And your comment about no sense of humour might get you arrested in 2026 Australia for hate speech against the Germans…
Henrik: Enough of that. What about Hans?
Johannes: He was shot by the Gestapo.
Henrik: But I never realised he was that sort of man! What had he done?
Johannes: He ignored an order from one of those SS people who have come here to impose law and order.
Henrik: Ah. So what was the order?
Johannes: They told him to stop bleeding and he just kept bleeding from his nose. It was part of that leftist propaganda to make it look like those people keeping order were hitting people with their rifle butts for fun and not just because it was an order…
Henrik: Ah well, he should have known better. If people can’t accept the fact that the Nazis are here to make this a better world then they should be…
Johannes: Don’t call them Nazis. It makes them sound like they’re socialists.
Henrik: Well, they do have socialist in their title. National socialists…
Johannes: If they were really socialists they’d have rounded themselves up and executed themselves, so clearly they’re neither Nazi nor socialist.
Henrik: So what are they then?
Johannes: They are the Empire and they had every right to shoot Hans because he was Solo…
Scene 2: On the USS Titanic somewhere else.
Charlie: The bastards just shot Princess Carrie…
Skip: What bastards?
Charlie: Those Sith bastards…
Skip: Come on, she must have done something…
Charlie: She hadn’t done anything. She was just a witness to what they were doing and then she tried to leave so that she could report to…
Skip: Wait! So she was an OBSERVER...
Charlie: I guess so…What does that mean?
Skip: Well, Observers get in the way…
Charlie: What?
Skip: Yeah, it’s Quantum Physics. The act of observation changes the thing… somehow… Look, I’m not a physicist so I can’t explain but observation changes things and observers get in the way so they need to arrested.
Charlie: But they shot her.
Skip: Well, she was probably resisting arrest.
Charlie: All she did was walk to her car.
Skip: Did she have her keys?
Charlie: Of course. So what?
Skip: Well, it’s been well established that cars can be a lethal weapon and there’s no constitutional protection against possession of cars. It was clearly self-defence.
Charlie: So if she’d had a gun it would have been all right?
Skip: Of course not! Then it would have been definitely a case of self-defence!
Ok, I’m not sure if I can get funding for something unfinished like this but if you want to send money to a Swiss bank that only Donald Trump controls, I suspect that I’m safe to give you my account number so I can forward it on to him…
lol! Correct me if I’m wrong (and maybe I’m being too picky or too literal), but Swiss bank accounts aren’t American, so how would they MAGA?
Best of luck with the script, looking forward to the finished product, hope an Oscar nomination is in your future. 🤣🤣🤣
Has potential, but presently lacks the usual twisted comic logic that infests the Rossleigh back catalogue. Maybe go back and read some earlier work to re-ignite the spark of genius that we recognise and enjoy.
There must be another plot in the confused thinking of the demented Littleproud who is assisting Beetrooter Joyce to destroy the NOtional$ so that regional Australia can have the public infrastructure funding to provide the local jobs that are the economic backbone of regional communities.
The sixty year absence of any government interest in regional communities is currently causing a plethora of empty retailing premises while the charity shops are re-locating out of regional communities to far outer metropolitan suburbs.
Plenty of politics to be investigated by your curious imagination.
Nobel Prize for sure. For a brilliant story of The Gold of the Orange Crumplstiltskin. Fab!