A Clarke & Dawe–Inspired Interrogation of Murdoch’s Renewable Ambulance Chasing
THE INTERVIEW
Interviewer: Let’s begin. A solar farm was on fire?
Spokesperson: Yes. Terrible business.
Interviewer: A grassfire?
Spokesperson: Well, yes. But we’ve carefully placed that information in paragraph fifteen so as not to alarm readers with accuracy.
Interviewer: To confirm – the panels didn’t catch fire?
Spokesperson: The public felt like they did. And sometimes feelings are more important than facts, especially in the Murdoch business model.
Interviewer: Do we know the cause?
Spokesperson: Of the fire, no.
Interviewer: Of the headline?
Spokesperson: Oh, that we know precisely: to sow panic, drive clicks, blame renewables, and avoid mentioning that the Hazelwood coal mine burned for 45 days and blanketed Gippsland in carcinogenic smoke.
Receipt #1: Hazelwood Mine Fire (2014)
Burned for 45 days
Caused at least 11 deaths (Victorian Inquiry)
Released massive toxic pollutants
Cost hundreds of millions
Interviewer: That seems worse.
Spokesperson: Indeed. Which is why we never mention it.
THE PATTERN
Interviewer: Your paper rushed out a headline saying “Major Solar Farm on Fire Amid Heatwave.”
Spokesperson: Yes, we like to capture the tone before facts ruin it.
Interviewer: And Renew Economy led with “Grass fire at one of Australia’s biggest solar farms forces facility offline, no word yet on damage or cause.”
Spokesperson: Very dangerous journalism. They told the truth before panic had a chance to take hold.
THE CAUSE
Interviewer: What caused the fire?
Spokesperson: We don’t know, and that uncertainty is extremely useful.
Interviewer: To whom?
Spokesperson: Columnists seeking to warn the nation that the energy transition will literally combust if we are not careful.
Interviewer: But the NSW Rural Fire Service reported it was primarily a vegetation fire.
Spokesperson: Yes, well, gum trees and grass don’t vote Labor, so we avoid blaming them.
THE DOUBLE STANDARD
Interviewer: Let’s compare coverage.
Spokesperson: Oh, must we?
Interviewer: When coal infrastructure catches fire – which it does –
Spokesperson: Frequently. Very frequently.
Interviewer: Your headlines say things like “Incident at facility contained.”
Spokesperson: Yes. Very neutral. Fires are only alarming if a solar panel is within 500 metres.
Receipt #2: Coal & Fossil-Fuel Fires Routinely Occur
Callide C Power Station explosion (2021): caused blackouts affecting hundreds of thousands.
Vallur coal plant fires (India; multiple events): infrastructure failure due to coal dust ignition.
Hazelwood mine fire, as above.
Lithgow coal stockpile fires (recurring).
Renewables do not remotely match fossil-fuel fire severity.
THE SPIN
Interviewer: Why does a grassfire at a solar farm become a referendum on renewable energy?
Spokesperson: Because it’s adjacent to renewables.
Interviewer: Adjacent?
Spokesperson: Closeness counts. If a blade of grass within the postcode ignites, we consider that renewable-related.
Interviewer: That’s absurd.
Spokesperson: Thank you, we work very hard.
THE HEATWAVE
Interviewer: The article mentioned the heatwave. Why?
Spokesperson: Heatwaves remind the audience of climate change.
Interviewer: Good.
Spokesperson: But we cannot blame fossil fuels for that, so we redirect the angst toward solar panels. It’s very elegant, actually.
THE AFTERMATH
Interviewer: Has the operator confirmed any infrastructure damage?
Spokesperson: Not at this time.
Interviewer: Do you expect to update your article?
Spokesperson: Absolutely not. Updates encourage accuracy, which can be fatal to a good narrative.
THE THESIS
Interviewer: So your editorial stance is essentially:
“Any renewable-adjacent incident is scandalous; any fossil-fuel disaster is regrettable but normal.”
Spokesperson: Precisely. That’s what balance means in modern journalism.
CLOSING
Interviewer: Final question. Do you accept that your coverage amounts to ambulance chasing?
Spokesperson: No, no. We only chase the ambulance if it’s electric.
Interviewer: Thank you for your time.
Spokesperson: And thank you for not asking about Rupert’s offshore interests.
EPILOGUE (THE STRAIGHT FACTS)
The Wellington North Solar Farm fire was primarily a grassfire.
Cause is unknown and unconfirmed.
Damage is under assessment.
The facility shut down as designed – safely.
Fossil-fuel fires are far more destructive both economically and environmentally.
Murdoch press headlines consistently amplify renewable incidents while minimising fossil-related ones.
That is narrative engineering, not journalism.
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The Un-Australian, owned by a foreigner, un-Australian Murdoch, with un-Australian non-news, non-truths, non-decency. For blather, lather, a gather of garbage, just go for Foxpox, Newsspews, Merde Doggery amok!!
PP, your accuracy is laudable.
The amanuenses of NewsCorpse and the Murdochracy ought be lined up & fired. That is, rendered to the eternal cesspit, relieving them of the one from which they emerged.