Predictions For 2026 (Number 5 Is Definitely Clickbait But Number 6 Is A Surprise!)

I’m just back from seeing “Wicked – For Good” at the cinema… Just to explain in case you aren’t aware, this is the film based on the second part  of “Wicked” the Musical which is based on “The Wizard Of Oz” which was based on an allegorical novel by L. Frank Baum about the problems in the United States. Now, I saw the original musical in Melbourne and saw the film of “The Wizard Of Oz” years ago, so I was well aware that that there were going to be various things that could be considered a comment on the USA at the moment. For example, the horrible treatment of those who are different such as the talking animals and the green witch, a wizard who has fooled people but behind the facade, he’s not really much at all, as well as people just ignoring the climate change implications of a house being picked up by a tornado resulting in a death. People also have no problem with theft of the shoes from the corpse underneath the house because it was done a white girl from Kansas.

Of course, I’d have to say that it went on too long as well as being completely implausible in parts, but I’ve thought that about the USA ever since Reagan became President. As for the film, it also would have been better if some things had been edited… which is also true of the US.

But on to my predictions. Regular readers will have noticed that I haven’t made predictions for a few years. This isn’t out of some embarrassment because they were incorrect… I mean, if people got embarrassed and stopped writing things because they’d been shown to be wrong, we’d have a whole new panel on Sky After Dark every week. No, I grew worried because some of them came true and I became too stressed when I looked at them and thought this so ridiculous it might actually happen. 

Right, here we go:

1. The Reserve Bank will do nothing with interest rates more often than it will do something with interest rates but this won’t stop speculation that the next move will be up… or down. And that this next move will change… or not.
2. Josh Frydenberg will ring a number of media outlets and tell them that any rumours that they’ve heard about him returning to politics are just rumours and that he only started some of them because someone had to and if not him, then who.
3. Donald Trump will tell us all that doctors giving him a… what do you call those tests again… you know the ones where they test whether you can complete… and he’ll tell us that they were amazed at how quickly he could tell them that the black and white stripy thing was a painted horse…
4. Anthony Albanese will be accused of being weak for not doing what the Liberal Party demand that he do. They’ll say that he’s weak not to do what they want because all their great leaders did. Brendan Nelson, Malcolm Turnbull, Billy McMahon…
5. My article about “What Happened When I Encouraged My Boyfriend To Have Sex With The Bridesmaid” will be exposed by my wife when you points out that not only do I not have a boyfriend but I’m far too messy to be gay.
6. I will write an article about how my wife is trapped in gay stereotypes and how some of the messiest men I know have been gay. This will lead to someone accusing me of trying to distract from the important issues around Dan Andrews no longer turning up to parliament just because he’s no longer an MP. 
7. My apology to anyone I’ve offended will be accepted by some but will upset certain others because I didn’t actually mention them by name.
8. Scott Morrison will make a statement that makes nearly everyone glad he’s no longer PM.
9. Trump will announce his intention to rename Washington and call it “Trumpington”. 
10. The media will consistently report that One Nation is doing well in the polls because it’s doing slightly better than last year and completely ignore the fact that none of the polls actually predict anything like them winning a seat in the House of Representatives. They will simultaneously predict disaster for Labor even though they are recording poll numbers similar to the 2025 election result. 
11. Another National Party MP will defect to One Nation leading to his/her name appearing high up in Google searches from people trying to discover who he/she is and others checking because they were sure that he/she was already a member of Pauline’s Party.
12. Sussan Ley will face a challenge. This will occur every day when trying to decide on her talking points. However, she’ll rise to the occasion and remember that not having anything intelligent to say has never stopped any politician from speaking. 
    

    
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