Outrage Nation Presents – Who Wants To Be A Trillionaire?

Mick voted for Outrage Nation because he was angry.

The rent was ridiculous.

The groceries were ridiculous.

His power bill looked like a ransom note.

Every politician seemed more interested in explaining problems than solving them.

Then Outrage Nation arrived.

They seemed angry too.

So Mick voted for them.

The first six months were difficult.

The rent went up.

The groceries went up.

The power bill continued its long-term campaign against his bank account.

“It’s early days,” Mick told himself.

Then his first Government Cost of Living Relief Package arrived.

Inside were fifty Australian flags made in China.

A glossy brochure explained that this represented a major victory for Australian sovereignty.

Mick looked at the flags.

Then at the rent notice.

Then back at the flags.

The flags appeared unwilling to contribute.

Three months later another package arrived.

This one contained one hundred flags.

The brochure explained that sovereignty had doubled.

Unfortunately the rent had also doubled.

“It’s a difficult inheritance,” Mick told himself.

By the end of the first year Mick owned more Australian flags than the local RSL.

His landlord remained stubbornly committed to accepting dollars.

Meanwhile, government polling revealed a serious problem.

People were becoming angry.

At the government.

An emergency cabinet meeting was called.

Several ministers suggested blaming immigrants.

Others suggested blaming journalists.

One suggested cyclists.

Another suggested ducks.

Nothing worked.

Eventually somebody asked:

“Has anyone spoken to Gina?”

Three weeks later Australia received a bold new economic vision.

Every episode followed the same format.

Rohan would ask a question.

Gina would answer.

Fireworks would explode.

A giant novelty cheque would descend from the ceiling.

Andrew and Peta would explain why this was a major victory for ordinary Australians.

Mick was never entirely sure which ordinary Australians they meant.

The show became a ratings success.

The fireworks became larger.

The cheques became larger.

The scoreboard became larger.

Mick’s pay packet remained approximately the same size.

One evening, while watching the news, Mick learned that tariffs were increasing again.

At the bottom of the screen a scrolling banner proudly announced:

STOCK MARKET RECOVERS TO RECORD HIGHS FOLLOWING RECORD LOWS

Mick briefly wondered whether the two things might somehow be connected.

He dismissed the thought.

Still, it lingered.

At least the Strait of Malacca was open again.

Vital supplies would soon resume arriving after the historic agreement personally brokered by Prime Minister Barnaby Joyce.

Mick wasn’t entirely sure why Australia was paying Indonesia billions in compensation.

Nor was he entirely sure why the Strait had closed.

The Department of Defence had recently been renamed the War Department, which apparently clarified everything.

Andrew and Peta had explained it all.

Mick had understood it perfectly at the time.

Unfortunately he could no longer remember the explanation.

Still, Australia had won.

That much he knew.

Mick had enough problems of his own.

Finding a rental had become difficult after the fracking incident.

The government assured Australians that only a very small number of giant sinkholes had appeared.

Unfortunately one of them had appeared underneath Mick’s previous street.

Still, he had been told this was a small price to pay for energy security.

Australia now had a plentiful supply of gas.

Mick simply couldn’t afford any of it.

The government assured him these were completely different problems.

Any gas Australians chose not to purchase would be sold overseas instead.

This would strengthen the stock market.

Mick didn’t own any shares.

But it was comforting to know somebody would benefit.

His new rental was only temporary.

The area had been selected as the future site of one of twenty gloriously funded nuclear reactors.

Construction was expected within the next decade.

Completion was expected within the next four decades.

Mick appreciated governments that planned ahead.

Each morning he checked the wind direction before opening the curtains.

Visibility depended largely on whether smoke from the refurbished coal-fired power station drifted across town.

Still, it provided employment.

Through Work for the Dole.

Through a labour hire company.

The money wasn’t great.

The shifts were unpredictable.

Most began with a phone call at two in the morning.

Mick had learned that accepting every shift increased the likelihood of future shifts.

Declining shifts increased the likelihood of becoming hungry.

Fortunately the food stamps helped.

Almost.

Mick had originally understood that immigrants were the reason he couldn’t find secure full-time work.

The government had fixed that.

Immigration was now close to zero.

Well, almost.

A small number of highly valuable immigrants were still welcomed into Australia.

The government called them job creators.

Most appeared to arrive by private jet.

Secure full-time work remained equally close to zero.

This seemed odd.

Andrew and Peta had explained why this proved the policy was working.

Mick had understood the explanation perfectly at the time.

Unfortunately he could no longer remember that one either.

Somehow Pauline’s Monthly Address to Ordinary Australians had also lost its appeal.

The first few had seemed important.

By the nineteenth consecutive address, Mick found himself developing a sudden interest in cleaning the bathroom.

Still, viewers received a Sovereignty Participation Voucher for watching the entire broadcast.

The voucher almost covered a loaf of bread.

So Mick watched.

Pauline appeared in front of forty-seven Australian flags and what looked suspiciously like a ceremonial toy bulldozer.

She spent twenty minutes explaining why housing shortages, grocery prices, rents, labour shortages and healthcare waiting lists were all the fault of the previous government, journalists, immigrants, cyclists, public servants and ducks.

At the end of the broadcast a QR code appeared.

Mick scanned it.

His voucher arrived immediately.

As he closed the app he realised something unsettling.

He could no longer remember a single thing Pauline had said.

But he remembered exactly how much the voucher was worth.

One evening Mick sat in his lounge room.

Around him stood hundreds of government-issued Australian flags.

On television, fireworks exploded as Gina reached another wealth milestone.

Mick looked at the television.

Then at the overdue bills.

Then at the flags.

Then back at the bills.

A dangerous thought entered his head.

What if the government had misunderstood the problem?

The next morning another Cost of Living Relief Package arrived.

Inside was a flag.