The Senate inquiry into gas company profits has produced one word that deserves to follow the industry forever: uninvestable. It is what the gas lobby calls Australia when anyone suggests they pay a fair rate of tax on resources that belong to all Australians. Norway built a three-trillion-dollar sovereign wealth fund from oil and gas. Australia collected one point four billion in PRRT from sixty-seven billion in LNG exports. The Woodside CEO declined to appear before the Senate at all.
This is a second Clarke and Dawe sketch, on gas in homage, firstly to the comic genius of the pair. And also because at times their unique satire is the only language adequate to the scale of the rort.
* * * * *
DAWE: Mr Carrington, thank you for coming in.
CARRINGTON: Happy to. Always happy to talk to the Australian people.
DAWE: You represent the Australian Energy Producers Association.
CARRINGTON: I represent Australian jobs, Bryan. Australian families. Australian prosperity. And a deep, abiding love of this sunburned country.
DAWE: Right. You’ve been before the Senate inquiry.
CARRINGTON: We have. And we made our position very clear.
DAWE: Which is?
CARRINGTON: That Australia is uninvestable.
DAWE: Uninvestable.
CARRINGTON: Completely uninvestable. I can’t stress this enough.
DAWE: And yet you’re still here.
CARRINGTON: Sorry?
DAWE: You’re still investing. In Australia.
CARRINGTON: Well. Yes.
DAWE: Despite being uninvestable.
CARRINGTON: What we mean is that the threat of a tax makes us uninvestable. The tax itself isn’t there yet. We’re pre-uninvestable.
DAWE: Pre-uninvestable.
CARRINGTON: Exactly. A warning, if you like. From us. To Australia. About what could happen to us.
DAWE: If Australia taxed you.
CARRINGTON: If Australia taxed us at anything approaching a fair rate, yes.
DAWE: What are you paying now?
CARRINGTON: We pay a great deal of tax, Bryan.
DAWE: How much?
CARRINGTON: Enormous amounts. Billions. The figure I prefer to use is twenty billion dollars a year.
DAWE: Santos paid zero corporate tax for ten consecutive years on forty-seven billion dollars in sales.
CARRINGTON: Santos had significant legacy deductions.
DAWE: Chevron paid its first PRRT instalment in August 2025. After decades of extraction.
CARRINGTON: Chevron had substantial capital recovery requirements.
DAWE: Japan collects more tax from Australian gas than Australia does.
CARRINGTON: (pause) Japan is a very organised country.
DAWE: The federal government gets one point four billion in PRRT from offshore gas. Queensland gets more than that from onshore royalties. On less gas.
CARRINGTON: Apples and oranges, Bryan. Completely different tax structures.
DAWE: Australia’s gas is worth sixty-seven billion dollars a year in exports.
CARRINGTON: Correct.
DAWE: And you’re paying one point four billion in the federal resource rent tax.
CARRINGTON: It’s a profit-based tax. We had losses to offset.
DAWE: For thirty years.
CARRINGTON: It was an expensive industry to set up.
DAWE: Qatar made fifty-six billion dollars in government revenue from LNG last year. Australia made ten billion. From more gas.
CARRINGTON: Qatar is a sovereign wealth situation. Very different model.
DAWE: Norway has a two-trillion-dollar plus sovereign wealth fund from oil and gas. US dollars.
CARRINGTON: Norway is a Scandinavian situation. We’re not Scandinavian, Bryan.
DAWE: Ross Garnaut and Rod Sims proposed the government take a forty percent equity share in new projects. Like Norway does.
CARRINGTON: That’s essentially nationalisation.
DAWE: Norway doesn’t call it nationalisation.
CARRINGTON: Norway can call it whatever they like. In Australia, we call it uninvestable.
DAWE: Meanwhile the government is cutting fuel excise.
CARRINGTON: Yes. Good policy. Tremendous relief for working families.
DAWE: Thirty-two cents a litre.
CARRINGTON: Every cent counts.
DAWE: While international LNG prices have gone up sixty-one percent in a year because of the Middle East conflict.
CARRINGTON: Global volatility. Nothing we can do.
DAWE: You’re making more money from the war than at any point in your history.
CARRINGTON: We prefer the term elevated margins in a disrupted supply environment.
DAWE: And the government is giving motorists thirty-two cents a litre funded by the taxpayer.
CARRINGTON: It’s a wonderful gesture.
DAWE: While declining to collect thirteen billion dollars a year in a fair share levy from you.
CARRINGTON: A levy that would make us uninvestable.
DAWE: You keep saying that.
CARRINGTON: It’s important. People need to understand the scale of the risk.
DAWE: What’s the risk exactly?
CARRINGTON: That we leave.
DAWE: And take the gas with you?
CARRINGTON: (long pause) We’d take the rigs.
DAWE: The gas stays.
CARRINGTON: The gas stays. But without us, Bryan, it’s just rock.
DAWE: Very expensive rock that you’ve been getting for free for thirty years.
CARRINGTON: For which we’ve made an enormous contribution to the Australian community.
DAWE: One point four billion a year.
CARRINGTON: In PRRT alone.
DAWE: On sixty-seven billion in exports.
CARRINGTON: It’s a profit-based tax, Bryan. I’ve explained this.
DAWE: Ken Henry – former Treasury Secretary – told the Senate inquiry to “just do it, in the national interest, just do it, and stop the crap.”
CARRINGTON: Ken Henry is a very passionate man.
DAWE: And the government said no.
CARRINGTON: The government understands the complexity of our trading relationships.
DAWE: And handed Australians thirty-two cents a litre instead.
CARRINGTON: Which is a meaningful gesture in difficult times.
DAWE: You’re getting thirteen billion a year more than you should. We’re getting thirty-two cents.
CARRINGTON: We prefer to frame it as mutual benefit in a shared energy future.
DAWE: Mr Carrington, are you going to be appearing before the Senate inquiry again?
CARRINGTON: The CEO of Woodside declined to appear at all.
DAWE: Yes, I know.
CARRINGTON: I think that shows real leadership.
DAWE: In what sense?
CARRINGTON: In the sense that we’ve made our position very clear without the inconvenience of being asked about it.
DAWE: Mr Carrington, thank you.
CARRINGTON: Always a pleasure, Bryan. Australia is a wonderful country.
DAWE: Despite being uninvestable.
CARRINGTON: Exactly. That’s what makes it so special.
This article was originally published on URBAN WRONSKI WRITES
Keep Independent Journalism Alive – Support The AIMN
Dear Reader,
Since 2013, The Australian Independent Media Network has been a fearless voice for truth, giving public interest journalists a platform to hold power to account. From expert analysis on national and global events to uncovering issues that matter to you, we’re here because of your support.
Running an independent site isn’t cheap, and rising costs mean we need you now more than ever. Your donation – big or small – keeps our servers humming, our writers digging, and our stories free for all.
Join our community of truth-seekers. Please consider donating now via:
PayPal or credit card – just click on the Donate button below
Direct bank transfer: BSB: 062500; A/c no: 10495969
We’ve also set up a GoFundMe as a dedicated reserve fund to help secure the future of our site. Your support will go directly toward covering essential costs like web hosting renewals and helping us bring new features to life. Every contribution, no matter the size, helps us keep improving and growing.
Thank you for standing with us – we truly couldn’t do this without you.
With gratitude, The AIMN Team
The pound of flesh get in now cop a slice assure my future something for me it’s national development we need investment hands out for my cut politicians, overwhelmingly conservative in take it or leave it setups, did this in the name of..,(progress? prosperity? profit”) No, it was EGO.
Scam of the Week from Michael West Media….
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M5_Meb8dvNI
Successive governments have failed voters by failing to develop fossil fuel resources for local consumption by industries and population. This would have required foreign manufacturing corporations to re-locate to Australian cities to benefit from government controlled energy pricing, thus building the job opportunities for Australian voters, generating the mythical GDP for the benefit of Australians rather than the foreign owned corporate entities.
Electing politicians lacking imagination is a self-inflicted wound, just like voters in Farrer voting against the Independent candidate Michelle Milthorpe who promise to get a new regional hospital, MDB water reform, incentives to attract nurses, firies, police and especially teachers to the electorate.
The 69 year old PHONey candidate can only offer to finance his own retirement from ransacking the Parliamentary Expenses and huge about $220,000 per year plus perks salary package.