New Liberal leader Angus Taylor has announced a bold new plan to restore “Australian values,” reduce cost-of-living pressures, and reintroduce a door policy at the national border.
“It is clear that numbers have been too high, and standards have been too low,” he declared, helpfully clarifying that migration has suffered from the twin sins of abundance and insufficiency.
The problem, it seems, is not migration itself. Mr Taylor reassured voters that he supports “good migration.” Australia will continue to welcome the right kind of people. It simply needs to exclude the wrong kind. The distinction, while not yet defined, will presumably become apparent to those who possess the appropriate Australian instincts.
The door must be shut, he said, to those who do not subscribe to our “core beliefs.” “We will be targeting the worst of the worst,” he announced. These reportedly include members of ANTIFA, the English cricket team, Asian doctors, and those at risk of not becoming Collingwood supporters – or worse still, those who will.
The door will remain open, however, for those who do subscribe. The engineering challenge of a door that is simultaneously open and closed has not yet been explained, but the party appears confident in its hinge technology.
“Our borders have been opened to people who hate our way of life,” Mr Taylor warned. This raises an obvious administrative question: how, precisely, does one measure hatred of a way of life? Through opinion polls? Social media posts? A failure to appreciate Slim Dusty?
Tick the wrong box and one imagines immediate deportation to a country insufficiently committed to democracy, the rule of law, and low-density suburban development.
Prospective migrants will be expected to adhere to Australia’s core values – democracy, freedom, and respect for the law – principles Australians cherish deeply, especially during election cycles. How these values will be assessed remains unclear. A practical exam? Reciting the Constitution in three different languages? A simulated argument about negative gearing conducted over a barbecue?
The beauty of the proposal lies in its moral simplicity. “Good migration” strengthens Australia. “Bad immigration” weakens it. Good migrants lower inflation. Bad migrants apparently raise it. One assumes Treasury will soon replace its modelling with a Values Calculator capable of measuring how many dollars a properly aligned migrant subtracts from the price of a pie with sauce.
There is, of course, a long and proud Australian tradition of defining ourselves by who we are not. Each generation refines the criteria. Once it was Catholics. Then southern Europeans. Then Asians. Then Catholics again. The categories evolve; the reassurance remains constant: this time, we mean the right kind.
Mr Taylor insists the policy will protect the Australian way of life. This is comforting news. The Australian way of life – famously stable and unchanged since 2024 1901 – must be shielded from the disruptive forces of cuisine, language, and demographic reality.
In the end, the promise is elegant: migration will be high enough to sustain growth, low enough to reduce pressure, welcoming but selective, diverse yet uniform in outlook. The door will swing only for the deserving. Exactly how we will know who they are will be revealed in due course.
Until then, Australians can rest easy knowing the border will soon be guarded not merely by policy, but by vibes and batting averages.
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“…The door must be shut, he said, to those who do not subscribe to our “core beliefs.” “We will be targeting the worst of the worst,”…” Yes, Mr Taylor, we have some people in our nation who don’t like the way the way things were going. So they have been subtly diminishing our standard of living by destroying the unions, off-shoring our manufacturing industries, kow-towing to USA and UK and shifting wealth from the majority to the minority. The culprits have been here forever – they are the politicians – lets send them to Heard Island where they can enjoy the isolation and the company of penguins!
How you intend to vote might be a question too.
Don’t fuck around Gus, why not just say you’ll just re introduce the White Australia policy.
Mr. A Taylor had ancestors who “came here” from somewhere, so perhaps we could “send him back”, on a charge of deficiency. We should send back those foreign born defectives Joyce and Abbott, nasty intrusives, oafs. Let us be better co-ordinated, at three levels of government, better financed and prepared, so as to benefit quite clearly to all, except One Notion oafs, that immigration is vital, good, essential, a tradition. A. Taylor’s ears need plumbing to unblock the flow to the tiny brain…a Roads scholar with many potholes.
Nah ….. These comments overlook the obvious evidence that the Mainstream Media Manipulation Monopoly have directed that Anus Failyure, the best alumnis from The Kings School kindergarten for fifty years, should be allowed his 15 minutes of fame purchased with considerable feral government financial assistance through over-funding private schools for 60 years too long.
The comedy duo is completed with Senator Just Humus, no answer to Joan Rivers, but certainly likely to be less skilled than any of the few surviving women in the LIARBRAL$. Well, any woman representing herself as less competent that Anus which is a full time job in itself. Well, how did her banking career go??
Australian voters can look forward to the COALition working hard to convince the community that there is a real future in the 19th century when Australia had some embyronic manufacturing industries that were in fact world beating, except the bosses lost the plot and the inventions to foreign interests ….. by cultural cringe.
Now the voters in Farrer have the one off opportunity to drag their electorate into the 21st century by electing a dynamic hard working female INDEPENDENT candidate Michelle Millthorpe rather than any toadie required to represent the best interests any political party beholden to any foreign owned multinational corporation.
REGIONAL INDEPENDENTS GET THINGS DONE FOR THEIR COMMUNITIES.
What do LIARBRAL$, NOtional$ and ONLY NUTTERS do??
It seems very hard to get factual migration figures and it’s clear that those on the Right want to prove that our migration policies indicate ongoing out-of-control migration. It suits their argument to say this but rarely do they note that net overseas migration for the 2020-21 financial year, the main Covid year, saw a net loss of 85,000 people, which then rebounded post-COVID when net overseas migration (NOM) hit a record 536,000 in 2022-23, dropping to 446,000 in 2023-24 as borders stabilized. Net overseas migration (NOM) in Australia for the 2024-25 financial year was 306,000, representing a significant 29% decrease from the record in 2023-24,driven by a 14% drop in arrivals and a 13% increase in departures, this decline marks a return toward pre-pandemic trends.
Even so One Nation and the Liberals (not the Nationals) want to use out of control migration as their main policy critique of the ALP government. In the case of One Nation it is not so much the numbers as the source of the migrants- they are particularly opposed to migrants from the Indian sub-continent, for racist reasons.
As was noted recently the biggest source of migration enquiries at the present time are from Canada and the US as folk seek to escape the Trump chaos.
.
The history of immigration to Australia is full of amazing ironies.
The first qualification was that the immigrant had to be a criminal, sent off, transported far away, never to turn, superfluous. Followed by a bunch of gold-doggers or wealth seekers willing to displace indigenous population in their quest for dither ‘the golden fleece’ or the gold being washed in the streams of the first gold discoveries.
So, what Australian values are we trying to uphold as we restrict or try to restrict immigration?
Are you greedy?
Are you criminal?
Are you racist?
Oh, I forgot to mention that shortly after the flag was raided in Sydney Cove, there was a worship service, a Christian worship service. so the next question
Are you Christian?
mmmmmm. Australian values, Mr Taylor
@ Terry Mills: Well, you cannot have Indians, Sri Lankans, Pakistanis & Bangladeshis coming to Australia, they may bring their culinary delights to replace the traditional Australian ”lamb & three veg” (thankfully!!)
When we travel we look out for various Asian restaurants and have been quite successful, Orient Restaurant in Hervey Bay, the Indian Affair in Ballarat and the Mandarin in Armidale.
@ Bert Hetebury: What a deliciously wicked description of the Anglo-Celtic-European colonist settlers in Aboriginal Australia.
I note the Australian citizenship test requires knowledge of some issues that look like Australian values.
It may ask questions about the indigenous flag, or the right of free speech, or rule of law, or how governments are formed.
It seems not to require commitment to issues of that nature.
In my opinion, there are values are so widely shared, they should require an undertaking to commit to them in order to gain citizenship.
• Respect and equality for women and minority groups
• Tolerance of diversity of people and opinions
• Acceptance of the rule of law and democratic elections
• Separation of church and state
• The right of free speech
I struggle to endorse the notion that those that are unable to expressly commit to those issues/values should be granted citizenship
AC, you speak my language. Would you mind if I borrowed these for a serious article?
• Respect and equality for women and minority groups
• Tolerance of diversity of people and opinions
• Acceptance of the rule of law and democratic elections
• Separation of church and state
• The right of free speech
By all means Roswell, you’re welcome to them.
I tend to think we should elevate citizenship to one of the big decisions and events in someone’s life. The seriousness of gaining citizenship should be a decision carefully made.
Probably less important that marriage, but more important that a job application.
Bert Hetebry,
You left out:
Do you love Rupert?
Do you love Gina?
Thanks, AC.
Enjoyed Terry Mills’ comments. In fact, the lot. I can understand some of the resentment of immigration and how it is conducted tho, having being out of work meself during the seventies and eighties.
If you were sceptical, it would not necessarily be out of racism, but more a fear of high unemployment and a pricing out of the market for the benefit of big capital rather than ANYone else.
Every Australian should read this Michael West report. Australia is rapidly moving towards authoritarianism and both major parties are involved and in agreement so will be very hard to stop. It has filled me with dread. https://michaelwest.com.au/antisemitism-training-labors-march-to-authoritarianism/ Please share.
Better minds than mine….
https://theconversation.com/want-to-know-whats-really-going-on-in-australian-politics-a-four-way-tussle-in-farrer-may-tell-us-275926?
https://johnmenadue.com/post/2026/02/when-both-sides-chant-lower-tax-the-country-pays-in-division/?
https://michaelwest.com.au/angus-ascends-police-beat-down-3-billion-goes-missing-scam-of-the-week/
https://michaelwest.com.au/big-businesses-getting-bigger-amid-two-speed-recovery/
Thanks Heather.
I didn’t know Schrödinger’s cat was called Anxious Angus. He’d been keeping shtum for a long time. One could not know whether he was irradiated and dead or alive in his little box. And for that matter, it would seem he wasn’t sure either.
But whoa! In the realization that his adopted cohort of liberal kittens demanded he reveal himself, he needed to reassure himself that his little box he called Oz was not invaded by all-seeing wanton immigrants. More dangerous than a Zombie apocalypse.
And just to be sure he remained grounded, he adopted Jane Humus as his guardian angel.
I’m not sure whether they’ve all ascertained yet whether or not they’re in or out of the box and toxified or not.
Such is the dilemma of free-wheeling space cadets.
I wouldn’t have thought I’d have read about it.
Jen mentioned the West Report on it and I listened as Michael West told how members of his family were monstered by the cops, including a broken leg for an older lady.
The coppers struck me as psychopathic.