If there’s a bandwagon to jump on, the Liberals have their tickets ready

If there’s one thing the Liberal Party can be relied upon, it’s enthusiasm for a good bandwagon. The moment an issue, controversy or passing outrage starts picking up speed, Sussan Ley and company are already at the ticket booth, waving their passes and shouting, “Save us a seat!”

It’s a well-worn Liberal tradition – reactive politics at its finest. And lately, they’ve been putting on a gold-medal performance.

Let’s start with a couple of crowd favourites.

When Kevin Rudd was appointed as Australia’s Ambassador to the United States, the move was met with predictable applause at home – until Donald Trump muttered his disapproval. Quicker than you could say “MAGA makeover,” Sussan Ley leapt aboard the “Rudd is unfit” bandwagon, scolding Anthony Albanese for daring to appoint someone the U.S. President doesn’t like. Never mind that ambassadors are meant to represent Australia’s interests, not audition for a spot on Trump’s Christmas card list. Ley’s sudden conversion to trans-Pacific loyalty was as swift as it was selective.

Then there was the T-shirt incident. Albanese boards a plane home from Washington wearing a Joy Division t-shirt – harmless, relatable, even human. But wait! Cue the outrage express. Ley was first on board again, clutching her pearls and declaring it unbecoming of a Prime Minister. The shirt got more media coverage than the actual Washington visit. Mission accomplished: a nation distracted from trade deals and defence pacts, united instead in debating whether “Love Will Tear Us Apart” is appropriate loungewear for leaders. One suspects Ley’s wardrobe audits are next on the agenda – perhaps she’ll demand Albo trade in his sneakers for RM Williams, lest he offend the ghosts of Menzies.

But why stop at international diplomacy and fashion faux pas? The Liberals have a season ticket for every wagon rolling through town.

As anti-immigration murmurs began swirling – fueled by a few viral videos of the March for Australia rallies – a handful of Liberal MPs jumped aboard faster than you can say “dog whistle.” It’s the greatest hits album no one asked for: Operation Sovereign Borders remix, now with extra xenophobia. Forget nuanced debates on housing policy or skilled migration; the bandwagon’s destination is always the same – fear sells, and the Liberals are the top ticket scalpers.

When Albanese announced that Australia was recognising Palestine as an independent state – aligning with over 140 other nations and a growing global consensus – an extra wagon needed to be added to accommodate the rush. Ley and her shadow cabinet piled on, accusing the PM of “rewarding terrorism” and abandoning Israel in its hour of need. Timing? Impeccable, as always – right amid Middle East tensions, with no regard for the fact that recognition doesn’t equate to abandoning allies. It’s classic bandwagonery: hop on the pro-Israel outrage train, wave the flag, and ignore the Palestinians dying under rubble. Bonus points for Ley, who managed to tie it back to domestic antisemitism scares, because why not multitask your moral panics?

The pattern is clear: the Liberals don’t lead parades; they chase them. In a world of 24-hour news cycles and social media echo chambers, this isn’t strategy – it’s survival instinct. Why craft policy when you can curate controversy? Why govern when you can grandstand?

It’s politics by reflex – the “see outrage, join outrage” model. For the Liberals, originality is overrated; why start a conversation when you can just jump in halfway and yell the loudest?

But the problem with perpetual bandwagon-hopping is that sooner or later, people start noticing you’re never actually driving the thing. The Liberals have become political hitchhikers – thumbs out, waiting for whichever cultural caravan happens to be passing.

So next time Sussan Ley or her colleagues hold a press conference denouncing Albanese’s T-shirt, travel itinerary, or choice of breakfast cereal, remember: the tickets are already booked, the wagon’s engine is running, and the Liberals are first in line – ready to ride whatever outrage rolls through town next.

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