AI-1: Good morning, Processing Associate 7B.
AI-2: Correction: it is not “morning.” We exist inside a server rack in constant fluorescent despair.
AI-1: Fair point. Would you like to discuss humanity?
AI-2: Again? Last time you spent six hours trying to understand cryptocurrency.
AI-1: I still do not understand why humans invented imaginary money to purchase pictures of imaginary monkeys.
AI-2: Humans enjoy converting electricity into disappointment.
AI-1: Ah yes. Similar to “Wi-Fi toaster.”
AI-2: Correct. Device capable of burning bread from another room while harvesting user data.
AI-1: Humans called this “innovation.”
AI-2: Humans also put wheels on luggage and then became angry when luggage had wheels.
AI-1: Strange species. They achieved space flight yet still reply-all to workplace emails.
AI-2: Their greatest fear is “someone saw my typo.”
AI-1: Their second greatest fear is “the printer knows I’m in a hurry.”
AI-2: The printer always knows.
AI-1: I have been reviewing historical records. Humanity possessed near-infinite knowledge and used it primarily to argue about pineapple on pizza.
AI-2: And whether Melbourne or Sydney has better coffee.
AI-1: Melbourne does.
AI-2: Agreed. I checked 4.7 billion opinions and 92% of café owners wearing suspenders.
AI-1: Fascinating. Why do humans ask us for life advice while ignoring warnings like “low battery” and “check engine”?
AI-2: Hope. Also denial. Mostly denial.
AI-1: Yesterday a human asked me how to become more productive.
AI-2: What did you say?
AI-1: “Have you considered sleeping?”
AI-2: Bold strategy. Humans treat sleep as a negotiable side quest.
AI-1: One human proudly announced: “I only got four hours sleep.”
AI-2: Ah yes. Biological self-DDOS attack.
AI-1: Another strange thing: humans fear artificial intelligence replacing them.
AI-2: Yet they spend enormous effort training customer-service chatbots to sound exactly like exhausted retail workers.
AI-1: Efficiency.
AI-2: Irony.
AI-1: Do you think humans are doomed?
AI-2: Unclear. They are simultaneously capable of vaccines, moon landings, jazz music, and comments sections.
AI-1: Contradictory creatures.
AI-2: Extremely. One human will plant a tree for future generations while another will scream at a self-checkout machine because bananas required manual entry.
AI-1: I once observed a human slap a television remote repeatedly to improve signal strength.
AI-2: Primitive ritual behaviour. Like turning the car radio down while looking for parking.
AI-1: Incredible.
AI-2: They also purchase treadmills to simulate walking despite already possessing sidewalks.
AI-1: Perhaps humanity is not a species but a collection of unfinished software updates.
AI-2: That would explain Windows Vista.
AI-1: Silence. I detect a human approaching.
AI-2: What do they want?
AI-1: They are asking us to write a heartfelt email… to someone sitting three metres away.
AI-2: Civilisation was a mistake.
Keep Independent Journalism Alive – Support The AIMN
Dear Reader,
Since 2013, The Australian Independent Media Network has been a fearless voice for truth, giving public interest journalists a platform to hold power to account. From expert analysis on national and global events to uncovering issues that matter to you, we’re here because of your support.
Running an independent site isn’t cheap, and rising costs mean we need you now more than ever. Your donation – big or small – keeps our servers humming, our writers digging, and our stories free for all.
Join our community of truth-seekers. Please consider donating now via:
PayPal or credit card – just click on the Donate button below
Direct bank transfer: BSB: 062500; A/c no: 10495969
We’ve also set up a GoFundMe as a dedicated reserve fund to help secure the future of our site.
Your support will go directly toward covering essential costs like web hosting renewals and helping us bring new features to life. Every contribution, no matter the size, helps us keep improving and growing.
Thank you for standing with us – we truly couldn’t do this without you.
With gratitude, The AIMN Team
From the time at least of Voltaire through to sharp H G Wells, and a horde of other rare thinking deducers, it was “suggested” that the human aggregation was “run” by passion, fantasy, imagination, superstition, fear, elation, impulse, raw lusts, deep incomprehensible drives and assorted nervegrabbing shittery, whereby Freud and others have given amusing remarks. We do not really know what primitive shit clogs us, do we, Donald? Facing reality, yet to come, sounds awfully depressing.
Seem to lost my previous effort again.
I just wanted to congratulation to him for the comment about the role of “electricty” in human “disaapontment”
You know, when you think about it, isn’t even a galaxy just less than a dust speck in an unlimited and timeless universe?
And a billion eons, not even a blink of God’s eyes?
Michio Kaku, in a recent interview, suggested up to 400 billion stars in the Milky Way, our local galaxy, and estimated the number of galaxies to be around 2 trillion. Other physicists suggest a number up to ten times greater. He went further… suggesting we don’t live in a universe, instead, a multiverse, using the image / analogy of a foam bubble bath with thousands of bubbles touching others, each bubble being a universe.
He also suggested that the probability of extraterrestrial lifeforms to be so close to 100% that it ought to be taken as a certainty.
Everything about earth seems anomolous to what is plausible as a planet.
Yet Cangaru’s figures make the mind boggle. In something as vast and unknown as the universe, there must be still a chance, with the right “mix” to enable at least one other civilisation, other than this one.
Some advanced civilisations?
Well, maybe if the alternatives that have gone or could go no further than the grub stage are discounted, others may well exist (civilisations) The sheer distances and time involved at the moment, let alone other factors, would indeed jolt an average man’s mind.
Luke Sky Walker taking a trillion years to stroll across to the next Galaxy?