Did Dan Andrews Kill JFK?

Well, the answer is: “Of course not!” because he wasn’t even born then!

However, recently I’ve noticed some theories that rely just as heavily on the need for a Time Machine in order to make any sort of plausible sense.

For example, Trump posted that Biden had 274 FBI agents in the January 6th crowd. This is made slightly less plausible by the fact that on January 6th, 2020, Trump was still the POTUS and that some of the group of “sightseers” who trashed Congress were there with the express purpose of preventing the vote to make Biden the President.

Another interesting example is the 2020 census, which various Republicans have denounced as a “fraud” because of its use of an alleged dodgy formula which allegedly benefitted the Democrats… Again, to suggest that Biden was responsible would have a lot more credibility if he was either a) the President at the time or b) in possession of a time machine.

Then there’s the frequent recurring story about Dan Andrews and the bike accident. I won’t go through all the ins and outs and various conspiracy theories about the incident. However, the suggestion that somehow Andrews was able to use his enormous sway to influence the police overlooks the fact that – at the time of the incident – he was Opposition Leader, not Premier, and the Liberals were only a little over two years into their term and not expected to be a one term government by anyone except for the most optimistic Labor supporters and those blessed with the gift of clairvoyance…

Speaking of the gift of clairvoyance, I say an interesting article about how house prices are too high and we should all be worried because disaster is just around the corner… I don’t dispute that there is a certain amount of truth in that sentence but the article quoted Professor Steven Keen and credited him with predicting the GFC.

I have a problem with this for two reasons:

1. Predicting something like the GFC or a stock market crash or rain isn’t necessarily an impressive achievement. It depends on your time line. For example, if I tell you to cancel your weekend picnic because of impending rain, you won’t be impressed when I tell you after three weeks of sunshine that I was right and all I got wrong was the timing. Similarly, I can tell you all that there’s an impending stock market crash and if it happens in the next week, I’m impressive; if it happens in 2032, not so much.
2. The article conveniently left out the fact that Professor Keen also predicted a crash in housing 2008 and sold his house in anticipation. While there have been occasional periods in the intervening years where house prices have stagnated, there is yet to be the crash of 15-20% that he assured us was just around the corner. Put simply, any who followed his advice and sold their house at the same time would have probably be a lot worse of off than someone who still owns their house, even if it does drop by 15-20% next year.

In other news, the long-awaited face-to-face meeting between Trump and Albanese takes place in the next few hours. Without access to a time machine, I can still predict certain things about the result of the meeting. Whatever happens, certain Aussie patriots will bag our PM and say what a great guy Trump is for not giving Albanese something or other. They’ll say this even if Trump comes out telling the world that Australia is the best friend the US has and he’s going to give us more billions than he gave to Argentina. Others will criticise Albanese for not telling Trump that Australia is a proud, independent nation and we have no need to ever speak to Trump again.

Meanwhile the Andrew Who Used To Be Prince will be in the headlines for the next few days before the media move on and point out that anything he did is minor compared to the faux pas of Meghan Markle wearing purple in public when we all know that purple is a royal colour and she has broken a long standing protocol and it’ll be up to Donald Trump to make peace and prevent war number nine…

Keep Independent Journalism Alive – Support The AIMN

Dear Reader,

Since 2013, The Australian Independent Media Network has been a fearless voice for truth, giving public interest journalists a platform to hold power to account. From expert analysis on national and global events to uncovering issues that matter to you, we’re here because of your support.

Running an independent site isn’t cheap, and rising costs mean we need you now more than ever. Your donation – big or small – keeps our servers humming, our writers digging, and our stories free for all.

Join our community of truth-seekers. Donate via PayPal or credit card via the button below, or bank transfer [BSB: 062500; A/c no: 10495969] and help us keep shining a light.

With gratitude, The AIMN Team