Spud stands on his record

Peter Spud Dutton, the joyless eeew tuber and social media phobe, has taken to TikTok. Somehow someone in the Tory machine decided that wider exposure of a bloke who picked up his inter-personal skills at an abbatoir was a good idea. This is curious given Spud could suck the stimulation from a sensory deprivation chamber; a malevolent brute who should be preceded in his every appearance by a trigger warning and an MA rating.

“One of the key factors behind successful political engagement on TikTok is authenticity. The platform thrives on genuine, relatable content.” (Susan Grantham, Lecturer in Communication, Griffith University. The Conversation).

TikTok is a channel often used to humanise politicians. So how is Nasty Brutale, a race-baiting tubermensch, going to humanise his inherent hatefulness yet still be authentic? Does he think his odiousness can be a selling point, that it’s palatable to the TikTok generation of Zoomers with their short attention spans, screen-driven FOMO and escapist psyches?

Well, nup. The things Pete likes are not going to endear a horror like him to the sooky la-la generation – the dark-uniformed goon squads, the clang of cell doors closing on small, brown hands, Klan hoods and nipple clamps, puppy-poking sticks, his Klauss Barbi doll, the windchimes on Big Gina’s vajazzle and being OK with the mass slaughter of Palestinian toddlers. Not an easy sell and subtlety is not a defining Spud characteristic – he’s proud of his punisher reputation. So he’s doing what comes naturally – scaring the shit out of the TikTokers but with focus rather than his generic “inner-city, woke elitist” shtick and arbitrary racism. Housing it is.

“… I really joined TikTok for one reason. It’s to tell you that we do not have to live in a country where you spend your whole life renting,” (Spud. Sept 2024).

Spud revels in his serendipitous hard man persona but his is a saggy-arsed, puddin’ physique. However it is topped by a head that would frighten a robber’s dog. It’s that and his shameless appeal to the worst instincts that lets him carry it off.

Like all bullies though, he’s a coward with a glass jaw. When the going gets a bit tough he disappears ala Scooter Morrison. He disparages questioners, attacks the weak and vulnerable. He is, to put it in the technical terms of the cognoscenti, a complete prick.

The celebration of avarice, mendacity and ignorance that is the federal Oppostion talent pool is going through a dry spell so there’s no threat to Spud from this bin jizzle.

The Squeak to his Bubba, his 2IC, the ever-flustered, overwrought Sussan Clitorissa Ley (she’s a bundle of nerves) is endlessly bewildered that she, a female, is in such a prominent position in the Tory sausage club hence she routinely drops handgrenades intended for the government onto the foot she just shot herself in. If the mien of a spaniel being shown a card trick was at all marketable then Suss may have gained some cachet, not least with the window lickers and the autofellatists.

Michaelia Cash, the phlegm fatale of auspol who, her screech impediment aside, has a soft side; an obvious moistening round the flange in the presence of rugged TV reno guy Scott Cam. Bell-bottomed, helmet haired, V05 abusing marching bands may relate but it’s a niche appeal.

Often touted as PM material by the born-to-rule set, person of interest and flight risk Angus Squizzy Taylor, the man of steal, has a proven track record in monetising government for familial benefit and so has cemented his credentials as a Tory blue blood.

Unfortunatley for Angus he’s not just dodgy, he’s a fucking idiot. “Angus is a leader, I guess, of the NSW right,” one Liberal says. “It’s a faction of one.”¹

Shadow Minister for Cyber Security little Jimmy Paterson, equipped with schoolboy-beard, laminated Powerpoint IPA graduate certificate under his arm and Hitler Youth rosette on his lapel, is a recent virulent critic of TikTok. Jimmy has suddenly lost his enthusiasm for banning it, proving at least that he’s got that indispensible Tory credential – blatant hypocrisy. But til his testicles descend I doubt the old boys would consider him as a leadership contender.

The rest of them (Bridget Archer excepted, perhaps also Julian Leeser) are so pointless, so soporifically mediocre, so forgettable that they do not even warrant a half-hearted ragging.

The ethical, talented independents collectively holding the balance of power in a minority government means we no longer need a viable Opposition for a functioning democracy but it’s still rather pathetic that spiralling down from the horrendous Howard to Abbott to Morrison the Tories now have little choice other than to buff their bald, beige jobbie and tell us that he smells like roses.

¹ ‘The vengeance approach’. Karen Middleton, The Saturday Paper.

A far from comprehensive list of the political career highlights of the tinpotato

• Joined TikTok in an attempt to be “demure” & “fun” after he was attacking the PM as being weak for not banning it Australia wide.
• Touts nuclear as a sop to the climate denial idealogues – knowing it will never materialise.
• Peter Dutton wants you to hate foreign students
• Dutton’s MAGA Down Under pamphlet shows how vulnerable he is on migration
• Refugee/boats BS
• Opposition to key policies that would benefit Australians
• Demanding a ban on Palestinians fleeing a genocide, referring to Muslim political candidates as a “disaster”
• Dutton is copying Trump’s tactics on migration by blocking Labor’s efforts to reduce migration
• On abortion: “I don’t think it’s a debate that is shifting votes one way or the other”.Oct 24.
  “We will not be changing our position; it cost us votes in Queensland, in metropolitan seats in particular, the reaction from women was visceral,” Nov 24
• Gina Rinehart and Peter Dutton’s 2024 (that we know of)

• Peter flies to her party in the Pilbara on private jet

• 12 hours flying for less than an hour at her party in Perth

• Big Vag’s Brisbane mansion for Liberal fundraiser

• Big Vag buys a table for Peter’s fundraiser

• Coalition feels heat as housing experts slam ‘unsafe’ plan to pause building standards
• Family trust received $5.6M in taxpayer funding
• Dutton likely unscathed by damning Home Affairs revelations, thanks to the media
• Claimed election rigging for the Voice with no crosses allowed on ballot paper.
• Peter Dutton and the Coalition have refused to support a parliamentary motion commemorating October 7 because it also recognised the civilian loss in Palestine and Lebanon.
• A free speech U-turn is under way, with Peter Dutton leading the charge Peter Dutton wants to have it both ways on hate-speech laws
• “I think every Australian should be aware of the Teal Political Party. It’s owned by a billionaire – Simon Holmes à Court” Dutton lied at a presser in Brisbane,
• Peter Dutton’s campaign to kill Labor’s multinational tax reforms.
• “I don’t discriminate against anybody, on any basis” – Peter Dutton, 1 October, 2024
• Dutton on ABC,“We don’t do hate in Australia”
• The lingering influence of Tony Abbott and Peta Credlin on Peter Dutton
• Why Labor call him ‘double standards Dutton’: Inside Liberal leader’s secret trip to India – while the PM was under fire for being over ‘Airbus Albo’
• Peter Dutton has said he made an apology for comments about Lebanese Muslims and immigration “mistakes” to a single “senior person”, who he has declined to name.
• Dutton walked out when the report of veterans’ suicides was being delivered in Parliament
• Laura Tingle “It’s perplexing how Peter Dutton continues to get kudos for being the go-to politician on the national security beat, when he has so clearly not just ignored the advice of ASIO but undermined the agency’s credibility.”
• Said a question on sexuality was part of “the woke agenda”. The existing census had “stood us well as a country”,
• The bloke left Home Affairs and Immigration in total chaos
• Warning of blackouts, Peter Dutton and the Liberal Party go to war with facts and science.
• Peter Dutton claims Holocaust survivors living in Australia since 1945 are talking about going back to Israel because of anti-Semitism. However, Israel was not established until 14 May, 1948
• On his return from a VIP trip to Israel declares that the Australian Government should never have commissioned the Binskin Report into the IDF slaughter of identified Aid workers including Australian Zomi Frankcom.
• Peter Dutton said “there will be no Makarrata or truth-telling mechanism under a gov I lead”.Indicating that a future lib government would dismantle any voice, truth telling, Makarrata mechanisms.
• “Dutton – never a big fan of lawyers, or abstractions like the rule of law …” George Brandis
• Australia’s richest person Gina Rinehart held two private fundraisers for Peter Dutton at her Queensland homes. It was a staggering $14,000 per head, with invitees warned it would go to Dutton no strings attached.
• Peter Dutton predicts that if the government is returned it will be in minority and “will include the Greens, it’ll include green teals, it’ll include Muslim candidates from western Sydney, it will be a disaster.”
• Charging us $23K for a jet to Tamworth to speak at a Newscorp event, sponsored by Gina Rinehart to talk about the cost of living crisis.
• Dutton’s abysmal record on immigration integrity
• Dutton’s department released two men convicted of accessory to murder. Also released 102 convicted sex offenders.
• Peter Dutton on Ch 9, re university Gaza protests: “This is the 1930s all over again.”
  “I believe our very civilization as we know it, our civilizational values are under threat. And this is not a time for weak leadership. It’s not a time for weasel words. This is not a time to try and walk both sides of the street.”
• Comparing a protest March with the murders at Port Arthur.
• Dutton failed 4 out of 6 units in his 1st year studying Business at uni & was kicked out. He was later readmitted but took 10 years to complete his degree, failing most units & having to redo them multiple times.
• Told a private meeting with big business CEOs 20/3/24 that he wants to help them repeal Labor’s laws that have raised wages and made jobs more secure.
• CSIRO chief warns against ‘disparaging science’ after Peter Dutton criticises nuclear energy costings
• March 2024 Opposition Leader Peter Dutton (who has a business degree but no science credentials) claimed a report from CSIRO was “discredited”, claiming: “It’s not relied on. It’s not a genuine piece of work.”
• Peter Dutton spotted with colourful Liberal-aligned property developer.
• Dutton admitted in a major speech in Adelaide last week, attended by just 40 people, that his approach on the Voice was “grounded in pragmatism” Niki Savva SMH
• ‘Kitchen Cabinet’ “I’m good at the sort of pulling down and wrecking part..
• His called for Woolies boycott never happened
• Immigration Minister Dutton issued a visa for a convicted sex offender.
• $92 million on failed visa platform outsourcing.
• $55 million for 4 refugees sent to Cambodia
• Dutton says it’s right that we lock up children as young as 10. That’s the age of criminal responsibility and it shouldn’t change, he said, because kids know they are committing serious offences.
• Peter Dutton and his Department paid Paladin a total of $532 million for a contract that lasted 801 days – that’s equivalent to $664,169 per day. We had a Royal Commission on whether Julia Gillard paid a bill 20 years before and on whether Bill Shorten lodged a document late. Peter Dutton and Paladin? – barely reported.
• The only thing that appears to have changed with Operation Sovereign Borders is Peter Dutton is now constantly providing a narrative on it. He spent years telling us not to run commentary on it.
• Craig Foster “Peter Dutton made clear that in his view refugees were burning themselves alive in attempts to come to Australia”
• “Israel is responding with proportion.”
• A report detailing the links between criminal activity and Australia’s offshore detention regime put Opposition Leader Peter Dutton’s time in charge of immigration under scrutiny.
• Tony Burke slammed Peter Dutton’s “glass jaw” after the Opposition leader claimed offence to comments from Clare O’Neil who accused Dutton of protecting paedofiles.
• It was Home Affairs under Pazzullo and Dutton that wanted to secretly use Australia’s high-tech overseas spy & surveillance organisation – ASD, Australian Signals Directorate – to monitor and spy on Australian citizens, in Australia.
• Peter Dutton as immigration minister exercised a discretion allowing the plaintiff, whose case overturned indefinite immigration detention, to reapply for a visa after he was convicted of raping a 10-year-old
• Under Dutton Australia took in two axe murders from Rwanda via a swap with refugees from Manus Island
• Peter Dutton has claimed that Labor has overseen 105,000 asylum seekers entering Australia. This is false – most entered Australia under the Coalition.
• Dutton’s own incompetence as a senior minister is the stuff of record now, especially his loss of control of our borders and his undermining of national security through the maladministration of the Home Affairs portfolio, the most bungling, error-prone department in the Commonwealth.
• Dutton called for a royal commission into child sex abuse in remote communities. He wants an audit of spending on Indigenous programs, ignoring that 22 such audits were conducted while his party was in office, with no change to outcomes.
• ‘Dog act’: NT police minister reacts angrily to Peter Dutton’s claims of Alice Springs child sexual abuse
• Dismissal of Kylea Tink’s complaint alleging aggressive behaviour towards her by one of his MPs.
• Used the Qantas dispute to disrupt parliament with a spurious challenge to a ruling by Speaker Milton Dick.
• Gaza politicalisation.
• Dutton bypassed Indigenous community safety for grants in Coalition seats
• Dutton calling for an audit on ATSI agencies when the coalition cut $15m from the Auditor General… resulting in 30% fewer audits in their 9 years of government.
• The Nixon review reveals Peter Dutton presided over a department that enabled organised crime, sex traffickers and illegal immigrants to disregard our borders.
• Dutton on Abbott.

• “Despite his tenure being unfairly cut short it constitutes one of the finest contributions of Australian prime ministers in the modern era.”

• “What made Tony a first-class leader was that he is a first-class thinker, one of the most intelligent people we could ever meet.”

• “No-one wants a second referendum” says the main guy proposing one.
• While Peter Dutton went on Ray Hadley’s program to condemn “the hatred that continues to come out of Marcia Langton’s mouth” and warn of her influence should she be appointed to the Voice, one wonders if he held those views when the cabinet of which he was a member appointed her to design the Voice.
• 10 Feb 2021. Home Affairs Minister Peter Dutton’s office fast-tracked a $880,000 one-off grant to retail association eight days after they made a $1,500 donation to the Q’lnd LNP at an event Mr Dutton attended for the purpose of personally supporting him.
• Scolded all the nasty millionaire CEOs last month for donating shareholder funds to the Voice while he looked the other way when they donated shareholder funds to the Liberal Party.
• Never ending demands for more detail on the Voice yet no curiosity on the awarding of $M in contracts to dodgy operators Canstruct, or giving $9m to a grifter with a record of unpaid debts & bribery,
• Peter Dutton briefed on bribery investigation before his government signed contract.
• Took a vague complaint against Bruce Pascoe, author of ‘Dark Emu’, suggesting he committed fraud, to the Australian Federal Police.It was dismissed.
• Dutton markets himself as Prime Minister for Queensland.
• Slandering of two of our most senior public servants as “tainted”.
• Dutton is so appalling Lib MPs opted for Scooter Morrison as PM.
• “Peter Dutton, like his Coalition colleague Barnaby Joyce, says findings of ‘serious corruption’ should be made only by a judge and jury,”
• Peter Dutton “When the problems were brought to the attention of the government at the time, the program was stopped. I’m sorry to those people adversely affected, I truly am.” The opposition leader claims robodebt was stopped when its legality was called into question, even though the report found its “unfairness, probable illegality and cruelty became apparent” in early 2017 and “the path taken was to double down, to go on the attack in the media against those who complained and to maintain the falsehood that in fact the system had not changed at all”.
• Despite ICAC finding Gladys Berejiklian had engaged in corrupt conduct, Peter Dutton says she’s ‘not a corrupt person’.”Her integrity’s not in question.”
• Declared that the Chinese Communist Party was backing Albanese and Labor in the election. The statement was so toxic that it provoked an unprecedented public warning from ASIO’s chief, Mike Burgess.
• As health minister, Peter Dutton cut $50 billion from hospitals, tried to introduce a $7 GP tax and secretly launched the Medicare Privatisation Task force.
• Dutton is saying Labor has to treat Australians with respect. This from the party of #Robodebt
• Peter Dutton on 2GB, on the $5 note: “I think it’s another attack on our systems, on our society and our institutions… I know the silent majority don’t agree with a lot of the woke nonsense that goes on”.
• Dutton chose to attend Pell funeral over being in attendance at meeting about The Voice
• Dutton says that Labor removing the cashless debit card has led to the crime in the NT. In FACT, the card was STILL IN USE until March in the NT.
• if you work hard and put your head down you could rise from $90.000 per annum to $200.000 per annum to get a $9,000 tax cut.
• Claiming that Andrew Thorburn modelled ethical behaviour at NAB is a fascinating turn, given that whole “charging fees for no service even to dead people” admission at the Royal Commission.
• Brother Stuie Robert: “Don’t judge Peter Dutton on his comments or actions.”
• Peter Dutton suggesting that an anti same-sex marriage song be performed in response to Macklemore’s ‘Same Love’ at the 2017 NRL Grand Final
• “Renewables are irrelevant at night time.” 19/6/22
• Dutton’s maiden speech: “I have seen the sickening behaviour displayed by people who, frankly, barely justify their existence in our sometimes over tolerant society.”
• Peter Dutton awarded Canstruct International a $1.8 billion contract despite having:

• No staff

• No assets

• No revenue

• They did, however, have a rich history of political donations to the Liberal Party

• Tharunicaa Murugappan denied a cake for her 2nd birthday
• Characterised Brittany Higgins’ rape “as an extra curricular activity”
• A veteran asks Peter Dutton to urgently assist Afghan interpreters fearing for their lives and the only reply he gets is two police officers at his door concerned he is a security threat,
• The sociologist who helped expose alleged war crimes by Australian special forces soldiers in Afghanistan was cut off from receiving future contracts to research military culture
• The whistleblower whose landmark report sparked a major investigation into alleged war crimes by Australian soldiers warned Defence Minister Peter Dutton she wouldn’t be “silenced, bullied or intimidated” over new book, Blood Lust, Trust and Blame
• Declared war on morning teas
• Fast-tracked a one-off $880,000 grant proposal to a retail association eight days after it made a $1,500 political donation to the Queensland Liberal National Party – at an event Mr Dutton attended – for the purpose of personally supporting him.
• Confiscated asylum seeker phones
• Brought Covid into Qld
• Dutton’s wife Kirilly was appointed as a Director at Mental Health Foundation of Aus. She has no quals in mental health
• Department of Home Affairs under Dutton justified spending more than $450,000 on wining and dining, while splashing a further $100,000 on office upgrades
• Labor candidate for Dickson Ali France lost her leg protecting her kids in a car park accident, and he’s used this against her.

This article was originally published on Grumpy Geezer.

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