Satire

Trump’s Nobel intentions

While the world wrestles with global unrest, Donald Trump seems singularly obsessed with one glittering goal: the Nobel Peace Prize. He has turned peacemaking into a personal audition, so desperate to outshine Barack Obama’s 2009 win that he’s practically on his knees begging the Nobel Committee to notice him. Rumour has it, he’s eyeing that award with the same zeal he once reserved for golden hair spray, and the internet’s buzzing with theories he might spark a skirmish just to douse it – only to declare, “Ta-da! Peace restored, where’s my medal?” The man who once mocked Obama’s “joke” prize as undeserved now seethes with envy, transforming every diplomatic hiccup into a Nobel audition tape.

Trump’s latest flex? Boasting about brokering a ceasefire* between Iran and Israel, timed suspiciously after Iran’s missile strike on a U.S. base in Qatar. Coincidence or calculated choreography? His Truth Social posts trumpet his mediation of Kosovo-Serbia and India-Pakistan spats, though Pakistan’s nomination unraveled faster than a cheap toupee in a typhoon – first praising him, then blasting his Iran bombing. Scott Morrison even jumped in, lauding the Iran-Israel truce, but the optics scream desperation. Is he sowing peace or tossing grenades to play hero? The Abraham Accords, a real diplomatic win, get buried under his self-congratulatory spin, hinting he’s less about harmony and more about hogging the spotlight.

The “create-a-crisis, solve-it” theory is gaining traction. With Trump pushing for a “real end” to the Iran nuclear dispute amid rising tensions – complete with tariff threats and bombastic rhetoric – it’s not extreme to suggest he’d stage a backyard brawl with Kim Jong Un or Vladimir Putin for a quick peace fix. His rants lately lean into this, name-dropping every handshake as Nobel bait, from Zelenskyy meetings to Serbian nods. It’s clearly less about global stability and more about settling scores with Obama, whose early prize still stings like a slap from 16 years ago. Trump’s team might call it strategic genius, but his pattern – claiming credit even when denied, like India-Pakistan mediation – looks like a flailing grab at glory.

Picture the absurdity: Trump staging a mock war with cardboard tanks and toy soldiers, then posing with a dove for a prize-worthy selfie. His desperation peaks as he pressures allies – Pakistan’s flip-flop, Serbia’s reluctant endorsements – to nominate him, only to face backlash when the scripts falter. The Nobel Committee, likely stifling laughs, hasn’t bitten, but Trump’s undeterred, turning every diplomatic hiccup into a headline. He’s even hinted at pressuring the U.S. Congress to lobby for him, a move that’s raised eyebrows and memes galore. Whether it’s a masterstroke or a personal crisis in slow motion, this Nobel chase is the wildest reality show on air.

Add in the personal stakes – Obama’s prize came with a global stage Trump craves, and his current term’s chaos (tariffs, Ukraine fallout) might need a redemption arc. Yet, his desperation blinds him to the irony: the more he pushes, the less credible he looks. Tune in for the next explosive twist – will it be peace or just more peacocking?

* That didn’t work out too well, with Israel firing rockets at will. Goes to show you can’t boast your way to the Nobel prize. It’s enough to make you drop the F bomb.

 

Also by Roswell:

 

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Roswell

Roswell is American born though he was quite young when his family moved to Australia. He holds a Bachelor of Science and spent most of his working life in Canberra. His interests include anything that has an unsolved mystery about it, politics (Australian and American), science, history, and travelling. Roswell works a lot in Admin at The AIMN.

View Comments

  • I'd like to nominate the demented idiot bully t.Rump for what he deserves,the No Balls Pizza Prize.

  • On what planet would that notorious, thoroughly despised, misogynistic predator, pathological liar and born-to-rule megalomaniacal sociopath, Trump, EVER believe that he deserves the Nobel Peace Prize? WOW! If it wasn't so serious, it would be the most hilarious, inconceivable joke of the year! The fact is that the rest of the world KNOWS that Trump's (undeserved) stratospheric ego and outrageous arrogance has now become completely out of control, but this latest evidence of his insane, delusional sense of entitlement is the last straw! This most recent, childish and (evidently) desperate attempt at attention seeking by this totally irrational, self-serving lunatic, proves that Trump's egotistical delusions are akin to him deteriorating to the point where Trump can now be compared to becoming more like Nero on steroids! Seriously? The ONLY logical outcome for that internationally discredited political psychopath (Trump) - who is not only a totally irrational blowhard, a dangerously undemocratic fascist but, in addition, a remorseless CONVICTED CRIMINAL - is to squeeze him and his considerable, totally irrational sense of importance into an escape-proof straight jacket, lock him up in the mental health section of the Twin Towers Jail in Los Angeles and throw the key away!

  • The greatest stumbling block to the Orange Emperor getting a Nobel is the Emperor himself. He nobbles his Nobel chances at every turn and, in his now tiresome familiar habit, throws a tantrum and blames everyone else for his continual failings.

    "I'm perfect and the greatest man in the world, but it's everybody around me who continually keep holding me back and making mistakes and leave me to take the blame and make me look weak and bad. Wah, wah."

  • In his quest for a Nobel Peace Prize Trump has to first avoid a summons from the International Criminal Court - he has already started to downgrade the ICC by imposing sanctions on four judges who will see their US-based property and assets 'blocked'. US-based entities are also forbidden from engaging in transactions with them, including through the “provision of funds, goods or services”.

    If the Nobel Committee do not nominate Trump can we expect him to sanction that organisation too ?

    It may even be too late for him to get a degree or PhD from the highly dodgy Trump University which turned out to be yet another scam, it's worth reading this article on The Trump University scam : https://www.newyorker.com/news/john-cassidy/trump-university-its-worse-than-you-think

    If the Nobel Institute were even to consider Trump for a Peace Prize they would do irreparable damage to their own organisation and would probably end up in the garbage can of history alongside the Trump University.

  • Pakistan has nominated Trump for the Nobel Peace prize..... but has since criticised him for bombing Iran.

  • There might be an Ignoble Sleaze prize, suitable for Donny Dogshit. Or, perhaps a Fleece prize on behalf of victims of larceny. Or.., a Codpiece prize for sausage restrait. Or, perhaps, a Geese prize for his brainless voters, or.., a decease prize, and soon.

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