Thoughts and prayers for sale

“Only in America”. We’ve all heard it. It’s a phrase used when something outrageously crazy or idiotic happens in America that would only happen in America. Such an example is The White House Faith Office, a new entity established by an executive order signed by President Trump in February. Its stated purpose is to “assist faith-based entities, community organizations, and houses of worship in their efforts to strengthen American families, promote work and self-sufficiency, and protect religious liberty.” In a nutshell, “To bring God back”. Thoughts and prayers will do the trick.

The office is led by a Senior Advisor, Pastor Paula White-Cain, a long-time spiritual advisor to Trump. The office – among other things – collaborates with federal agencies to address perceived barriers to religious freedom and promote partnerships that align with its mission.

Paula White-Cain is a televangelist known for promoting prosperity theology – a belief that faith, often paired with financial contributions, can lead to material blessings. Outside her White House role, White-Cain has been associated with fundraising appeals through her personal ministry, Paula White Ministries. Reports have highlighted her offering “seven supernatural blessings” for a $1,000 donation, a claim tied to her ministry, not the White House Faith Office. Critics call this a grift, arguing it exploits faith for profit, but there’s no evidence this is part of the office’s activities. The office’s official mandate, per the executive order, is about policy coordination – consulting faith leaders, identifying regulatory hurdles, and promoting grant access – not selling blessings or anything else.

The Faith Office doesn’t have a storefront or inventory. Any “selling” linked to its personnel, like White-Cain, happens in their separate, private capacities, not under the office’s auspices.

Now here’s the “Only in America” bit:

For a $1,000 donation to Paula White Ministries, White-Cain promises what she calls “seven supernatural blessings” tied to the Passover and Easter season. Here’s what you’re supposed to get for your donation (I’ve added my own interpretation of each):

1. God assigns an angel to you – some divine bodyguard action.
2. God becomes an enemy to your enemies – a cosmic hitman vibe.
3. Prosperity – cash flow, presumably.
4. Sickness taken away – a health boost from above.
5. Long life – extra years on the clock.
6. Increase and inheritance – more wealth and legacy stuff.
7. A special year of blessing – a vague, all-purpose good vibes promise.

On top of that, you get some tangible goodies: a 10-inch Waterford crystal cross (retails around $100, sometimes discounted), an olive wood communion set from the Holy Land (with unleavened bread, grape juice, and two cups), plus some devotionals and a booklet. These are pitched as part of a “Good Friday online GLOBAL communion service” you can join with her. So, it’s a mix of spiritual claims and a swag bag – whether the supernatural stuff delivers is, well, a matter of faith!

Only in America can you buy your thoughts and prayers.

References

Establishment of The White House Faith Office, The White House

Donald Trump creates White House Faith Office to handle anti-Christian bias: “Bring God back”, Amondi Aroko, MSN

Paula White, Wikipedia

Trump’s White House faith advisor, promises ‘7 supernatural blessings’ – for a $1000 gift, Alex Henderson, AlterNet

Trump’s faith advisor goes full grifter, John Sanderman, The Other Cheek

See also: False Profits

 

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