Things Trump voters love

Trump voters are a special breed. Loyal. Loud. Unshakably committed to a man who, by any rational measure, is working against their best interests. But that’s the magic, isn’t it? It’s not about policy – it’s about vibes. About sticking it to someone, even if that someone is, well… them.

Here’s a brief list of things Trump voters absolutely love:

They love when billionaires pay less tax than their local barista. Nothing warms the heart like watching a tech mogul launch himself into space while your school can’t afford pencils. That’s freedom, baby.

They love tariffs. Not because they understand them, but because Trump told them it was “smart.” Never mind that it makes goods more expensive, farms go bankrupt, and factories close. If it hurts China – or at least sounds like it does – it’s worth it. Even when Canada slaps tariffs back and stands up to Trump, they’ll still cheer, because… well, patriotism?

They love when Trump looks like a fool on the world stage. They say he “keeps it real” while foreign leaders exchange side-eyes and smirks. Who needs diplomacy when you’ve got chaos and sauce-stained maps?

They love losing healthcare. Nothing says freedom like dying of preventable illness because the nearest doctor accepts prayer and cash only. If universal healthcare is what they do in Europe, it must be communism. Better to limp into bankruptcy than risk a functioning system.

They love when people get snatched off the street by anonymous federal agents in unmarked vans. That’s law and order – especially if the people being grabbed are young, brown, opinionated, or breathing too freely.

They love when the National Guard is sent to peaceful protests, armored vehicles roll through suburbs, and journalists are blinded with rubber bullets. Nothing makes you feel safer than treating your own citizens like an invading army.

They love when public schools are gutted, teachers are underpaid, and libraries close – but at least no one’s reading about systemic racism or the climate emergency. That stuff’s too woke anyway.

They love when journalists are insulted, banned, or roughed up – because nothing says “land of the free” like threatening anyone who asks a follow-up question.

They love when the president hugs the flag like a hostage, calls himself a genius, and can’t name a single constitutional amendment. Intelligence is elitist. Books are for lefties. And grammar? Highly suspicious.

They love when their jobs disappear, their wages stagnate, and their unions are crushed – so long as Trump tells them it’s someone else’s fault: immigrants, windmills, or drag queens in Las Vegas.

They love hypocrisy. They’ll cheer when Trump rails against elitists while living in a gold-plated tower. When he preaches law and order while dodging indictments. When he invokes Christianity with all the scriptural knowledge of a used car ad.

In short, they love being conned – because at least it’s their con man.

They lost their job, their doctor, and their dignity – but at least the billionaires are sleeping well.

 

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