Let’s dissect the first leaders’ debate of 2025, where Peter Dutton tried – and failed – to convince Australia he’s not a human embodiment of a “caution: road closed” sign.” Meanwhile, Anthony Albanese served up a masterclass in how to not sound like a broken record from the Morrison era. Here’s why Dutton’s performance was a dumpster fire, and Albanese somehow managed to look like the adult in the room.
1. Dutton’s “Temporary Fix” Obsession: Because Who Needs Long-Term Solutions?
Dutton’s big idea? A 12-month fuel excise cut – a reheated Scott Morrison special from 2022. When pressed, he admitted it’s just a Band-Aid, promising to “reassess” after a year. Meanwhile, Albanese mocked this as the “Morrison playbook,” rightly pointing out that Labor’s tax cuts, Medicare boosts, and student debt relief are permanent. Dutton’s response? “But inflation!!” – ignoring that Labor’s measures helped lower inflation to 2.4%.
Snark rating: Dutton’s policy depth? About as deep as a puddle in the Simpson Desert.
2. Nuclear Nonsense: Dutton’s $600 Billion Fantasy
Dutton’s nuclear energy plan – costing $600 billion for reactors that’ll maybe, possibly, provide 4% of power by the 2040s – was shredded by Albanese as “the most expensive form of new energy.” When Albanese asked how he’d fund it, Dutton waffled about “dishonest” Labor maths and cited China’s reactors (because authoritarian state projects are totally comparable to Australia’s energy needs). Experts, including the CSIRO, have already called nuclear unviable here, but Dutton’s response? “Trust me, bro.”
Snark rating: Dutton’s nuclear vision: Less Oppenheimer, more Homer Simpson.
3. Medicare Meltdown: Dutton’s War on Bulk Billing
Albanese whipped out his Medicare card like a political samurai, vowing to lift bulk-billing rates to 90%. Dutton’s rebuttal? “Bulk billing rates were higher under us!” – a claim debunked faster than a Trump tweet. Reality check: Bulk billing plummeted under the Coalition’s Medicare rebate freeze, and Dutton, as health minister, once pushed a GP co-payment. When a voter shared her $80 gap fees, Dutton blamed Labor… while Albanese reminded everyone who froze rebates for six years.
Snark rating: Dutton’s healthcare plan? “Just don’t get sick.”
4. Immigration: Demonising Migrants While Pretending Not To
Dutton’s “well-managed migration” spiel was a dog whistle wrapped in a policy burrito. He blamed migrants for the housing crisis, claiming a 65% surge in students (ignoring that population growth is lower than 2019 projections). When voter Jason called him out for “hurting Australia’s brand,” Dutton doubled down on cuts, oblivious to how international education fuels soft power. Albanese, meanwhile, highlighted bipartisan caps on student numbers and a $33 billion housing plan.
Snark rating: Dutton’s immigration strategy: “Build a wall, but make it invisible.”
5. Flip-Flops and Fake Wins
Dutton’s campaign has been a comedy of errors:
- Work-from-home backflip: After vowing to force public servants back to offices, he U-turned faster than a startled emu, blaming a “Labor scare campaign”.
- Social media cringe: The LNP’s X account declared Dutton the debate winner minutes after Sky News crowned Albanese. Cue internet mockery.
- Recession fearmongering: Dutton claimed Australia is in a “per-capita recession” but dodged guaranteeing no recession under him
Meanwhile, Albanese stuck to his script: surpluses, Medicare, and not being a walking contradiction.
Snark rating: Dutton’s campaign slogan: “Because 2013-2022 wasn’t chaotic enough!”
Why Albanese (Barely) Nailed It
Albanese wasn’t perfect – his answers occasionally meandered into “Future Made in Australia” buzzword soup. But he:
- Defended Medicare like it’s his firstborn, leveraging his green card prop effectively.
- Laughed off Dutton’s nuclear fantasy with a zinger about “gaslighting”.
- Highlighted concrete wins: Lower inflation, wage growth, and a housing plan that exists (unlike the Coalition’s non-existent housing minister era).
Final Verdict
Dutton’s debate performance was a highlight reel of Coalition nostalgia: temporary fixes, demonising outsiders, and policies as coherent as a toddler’s crayon drawing. Albanese, while no Obama, at least remembered his lines. Australia deserves better than a leader whose best idea is reheated Morrison leftovers.
TL;DR: Dutton’s Australia: “Please, no more surprises!” Albanese’s Australia: “We’ve seen worse.”
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If even Sky says Albo won …
According to the SMH the debate was a draw. Now he’s going to “support” women in combat.
https://www.smh.com.au/politics/federal/who-won-the-debate-and-why-our-experts-deliver-their-verdicts-20250408-p5lpzk.html
https://www.smh.com.au/politics/federal/dutton-vows-to-support-women-in-combat-after-dumped-candidate-goes-on-attack-20250408-p5lq39.html
He’s really laying down the desperation bullshit thick and fast now
Dutton was aggressive (not strong) and he remains evasive on his nuclear policy – perhaps he’s going to roll it back as another misstep.
Albanese had learned his statistics and he has obviously taken some media training (he remembers the names of those asking questions and thanks them for their service).
The truck driver who suggested to Dutton that the fuel excise be abolished altogether – not just a year – makes a good point particularly as the uptake of EV’s will diminish the fuel excise over time anyhow.
Albo won the debate with more facts and less aggression.
Going by recent history, this election really should be a no contest.Despite Albo’s ordinary performance as PM.Only the lies and propaganda by Murdoch’s freak show keep the deeply disturbing Dutton from sinking without trace.Aided and abetted, of course by a woeful MSM masquerading as “news”,rounded out by a far too large percentage of easily gulled voters.
The fakes and flakes of the Opposition could do us all a favour by axing Boofhead now, instead of waiting for a resignation speech on May 3rd.
I note that cadet Paterson thought that Boofa gave a stirling performance in the ‘debate’.says it all really.divorced from reality.His mob were, and remain the worst government this country has ever endured,and the remnants are still there acting as though people can’t remember past yesterday.
We are stuck, treated as rubbish by the Murdoch, Stokes, Costello shittiness of media propaganda, Goebbelsian and garbage by ruthless lying profiteers, selfish to the bone. The Sluttery slimes who scribble, yabber, contrive, are perhaps to be pitied in that they must obey to earn a living, pose as relevant, avoid shunning or real work. Australia’s main media scene is awfully bad, based entirely on lies for money, myths and propaganda for networking, old boys clubbiness, twisted bowellery. Institutional untruthfulness as with Trumpery or religious superstition. I hate this deeply, as life education had us on path to better, some enlightenment, reason, logic, honesty, decency. Benito M told his masses to believe, obey, fight.., and, unbelievably, it is now worse, with wars, slaughter, Trumpshit, petty dictators in nations, offices, branches, boards, nearly every mass media device and social electronics oppressor. So, we have had lying incompetence here from Howard to Dutton, with shitontheshoes types, Abbott and Morrison in between. Ordinary honesty is needed, not pontifical preposterous mediocrity done up as godlike wisdom, from our oppressors.
Beats my pair of Jacks,Phil.
Jesus, this fucking bald moron just keeps getting Trumpier and Trumpier with every desperate brain fart! It’s almost like he wants to lose the election.
https://www.smh.com.au/politics/federal/dutton-to-cut-migrant-numbers-by-100-000-people-each-year-20250408-p5lq1n.html
Two more bloody idiot LNP gits running in the election.
https://www.smh.com.au/politics/federal/saudi-arabia-very-safe-for-women-says-liberal-candidate-who-does-business-there-20250408-p5lq62.html
https://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/2025/apr/09/lnp-candidate-jeremy-neal-leichardt-queensland-china-covid-lockdown-social-media-posts-ntwnfb
A great week for electoral and political hand grenades for The Spud.
Oh, terrific, Nutty Nigel Fulminating Farage is about to become a “commentator” on Farce News Australia.
https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2025/apr/09/nigel-farage-gets-his-10th-job-as-he-becomes-sky-news-australia-commentator
I see a plethora of backflipping from Ol’ Rubber Spine over the last few weeks of electioneering. Unless, of course, his pigheaded moronic side takes completely over and sinks him.
https://www.news.com.au/national/federal-election/donald-trump-development-is-deadly-for-peter-dutton/news-story/edd9a68fe214b17f1e956474cea12e5f
Rupert sees the merde on the wall with The Spud and is now hedging his bets.
I don’t ascribe to the notion that Albo’s done a bad job. To me that’s falling for the blatant and persistent propaganda of the Murdochary and the rest of the delinquent Oz msm cretins and their lazy amanuenses. They prevail by omission of Labor’s actions and by running the LNP’s lazy lines.
Over the past 5+ years global circumstances and politics has become vastly more complex and precarious than before. The 9 years of LNP govts did sfa, but immerse themselves in corruption and self-serving feifdoms, leaving a complete mess in all areas of governance – and the Duttonate is the dregs of that era, and before back to Howard. Since taking over in 2022, Albo’s Labor have set about a deliberate path of redressing that mess, in prioritized increments, and moved appropriately to address the ever-changing global scene. There remains much left to do to create a functioning and sustainable framework for Oz’s future, and that has been made particularly tricky politically because of Oz’ interdependence in the precariousness of global politics, economically, environmentally, and culturally.
Given everyone having a whinge about everything, expecting a fix by magic wand, Albo’s Labour has done a pretty good job. Mind you, given the massive increase in complexity, to expect a salient plan and actions within our ludicrous 3 year election cycle is too much to ask. Perhaps our cycle should be 4 or maybe even 5 years at the federal level.