Tell them nothing

Opposition Leader Peter Dutton: “Sir Humphrey, please, take a seat. We must engage in a conversation about a matter of considerable significance that weighs heavily on my mind. “

Sir Humphrey: “Yes Peter aren’t they all?”

Peter Dutton: “What do you mean?”

Sir Humphrey. “Oh nothing, I have been thinking about the beginning of our election campaign.”

Peter Dutton: “How on earth did you know that was what I wanted to talk to you about?”

Sir Humphrey: “Well, Peter, I didn’t, but may I suggest a scare campaign to start with? You haven’t been a thunderous success, so we should tell them nothing; scare people.”

Peter Dutton: “What? Don’t l already do that?”

Sir Humphrey: “Nothing, sir. The party, sir. I was alluding to the state of the party. Anyway, if I may continue…”

Peter Dutton: “Yes, let’s get on with it. You were saying nothing.”

Sir Humphrey: “Well, as I was saying, Sir, envision this: a cleverly crafted scare campaign, a technique we’ve mastered over the years. Yet, this one presents a unique challenge. We must skilfully lure the public into believing we are the most competent party to oversee their finances. While that might not be rooted in reality, we’ve spun that narrative successfully countless times before, and I have no doubt they’ll swallow it once again. It’s all part of the game, and we have the playbook to make it work.” And no detail, Peter. Tell them nothing, or the next thing, they will want the truth, and we can’t have that.

At the same time, we tell them how well things are going and convince them that if Labor gets back in, there will be a recession. And we do it without you mentioning the R-word. Everyone else can, but you deny you ever said it. Tell them nothing.

Remember, we don’t need to tell the truth. We are only trying to convince the ignorant. Scare them, not educate them. Propaganda aims to make you feel good about the wrongs being perpetrated on you.

You see, less-informed voters unfortunately outnumber the more politically aware. We, therefore, feed them all the bullshit they need. And our menu generally contains a fair portion of untruths.

And that should leave room – a sidetrack – to explain why we dumped Malcolm way back when.”

Peter Dutton: “And why did we?”

Sir Humphrey: “Because he couldn’t handle money.”

Peter Dutton: “But he is a multi-millionaire.”

Sir Humphrey: “Good heavens, Peter, life transcends mere existence; it is a tapestry woven from our perceptions and interpretations. We obscure the truth by offering them our silence, concealing the depths of our thoughts. Indeed, when we choose our words sparingly, the power of their impact magnifies. The fewer the words, the richer the meaning they can convey. The more you say, the less the better.

Peter Dutton: “But, Sir Humphrey…”

Sir Humphrey: “Peter, could you pause for a moment and gather your thoughts? What I just heard is not at all what I assumed you were trying to express. When you speak, I find myself deciphering his words through a lens of my own interpretation, only for you to counter my understanding with an air of disbelief, insisting that I’ve missed the mark entirely. In truth, it feels as though you withhold any meaningful insight from me, leaving our conversations frustratingly shallow.”

“You see, now you’re suggesting that my understanding doesn’t align with your actual words. It’s as if what I believed I heard spins into mere shadows of imagination. I merely offered my interpretation, a lens through which I viewed your statement. Was your intention clear, or was it a tangled string of meanings meant to convey something deeper? Or perhaps your true intent was simply an echo of my own perceptions? Life, after all, is woven from the fabric of perception; it’s not just about reality, but rather how we choose to interpret it. Sometimes we communicate the loudest, not through our words, but by embracing the silence. Better to say nothing. Then they believe what you tell them.”

Peter Dutton: “I think I understand now, Sir Humphrey.”

Sir Humphrey: “Yes, Peter, what does it mean?

Peter Dutton: “If you tell enough lies, people will eventually believe whatever you tell them.”

Sir Humphrey: “Bravo, my future Prime Minister. That’s how we start our election campaign. We continue on as usual.”

Peter Dutton: “Brilliant, Sir Humphrey. Now, about those 21,000 public servants.”

Sir Humphrey: “Yes, Peter. Tell them nothing. Tell them nothing until after the election.”

My thought for the day

The Government functions as a vital service provider, requiring substantial financial resources to operate effectively. Reducing taxes may seem appealing, but it neglects the essential funding needed to construct schools, hospitals, and aged care facilities that our communities depend on. It’s akin to attempting to tackle climate change while dismissing its existence – an exercise in futility. Sometimes, it feels as if the best course of action is to remain idle, doing nothing, waiting for a moment of urgency before taking meaningful steps.

 

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