Super Rich, Super Rort, Super Hypocrisy: The Coalition’s War on Common Sense (and Common People)

By L.J. McKenzie (with a hangover and a calculator)

Welcome to Australia in 2025, where Julia Gillard and Kevin Rudd’s long-forecast superannuation increases for workers have finally landed – a whole twelve years after they were passed. It’s like a time-release capsule of economic justice that had to tunnel its way through ten years of booby-trapped neoliberal bullsh*t and IPA white papers before emerging intact.

But guess what? The very Coalition governments that delayed, obstructed, and gaslit the public about these modest increases to workers’ retirement savings are now working themselves into a lather over another super reform – one that dares to ask the ultra-wealthy to pay slightly more tax on balances over $3 million.

🙃 From “We Can’t Afford Super for Workers” to “Don’t Touch the Yacht Money”

Let’s be clear: the original increases to the Super Guarantee were designed to help average workers retire with dignity. We’re talking about modest extra dollars trickling into the accounts of nurses, teachers, sparkies, baristas and public servants – many of whom will never see a $3 million net worth, let alone a super account balance that high.

But while the Coalition spent a decade sabotaging those increases – “it’s unaffordable!” they wailed, “it’ll crush business!” they howled – they’ve now switched to full DEFCON-1 about a proposal that would, heaven forbid, slightly curb the tax concessions for Australians hoarding more than three million tax-advantaged dollars in their super accounts.

These are not battlers. These are not small business owners. These are the kinds of people whose wealth earns more in a day than most Aussies earn in a year.

🎭 Same Script, New Bogeyman

Let’s take a moment to enjoy the historical irony:

• 2013: Coalition politicians and Murdoch columnists scream about Gillard’s “raid on super” and “Labor’s retirement rip-off” – translation: a slow, legislated increase in employer contributions from 9% to 12%.
• 2014–2021: Coalition freezes the increase multiple times, even as they “gift” tax cuts to high-income earners and slash funding to public services.
• 2025: Labor implements a 15% additional tax on earnings from balances over $3 million – affecting less than 0.5% of Australians.
• Coalition + Sky News: “It’s a retirement tax grab! Who’s next? Grandma? Your dog? YOUR KIDS?”

It’s the same playbook: weaponise economic fear, pretend to care about average Australians, and protect the mega-rich at all costs.

🧟 The Living Dead of Coalition Scare Campaigns

This is hardly their first rodeo. Some greatest hits:

• Franking Credits, 2019: “Labor is coming for your retirement!” Translation: Labor wanted to stop handing out cash refunds to people who didn’t pay tax. Coalition and Tim Wilson turned this into a zombie apocalypse scenario starring pensioners and caravans.
• Death Taxes, 2019: Labor never proposed one, but that didn’t stop the whisper campaign. Even the MSM repeated this lie with a straight face.
• Negative Gearing, 2016–2019: “Labor will crash the housing market!” Translation: Let’s protect property speculators and landlords over first-home buyers and renters.
• Electric Vehicles, 2019: “They’ll steal your weekend!” Yes, Angus Taylor literally said electric cars would end the Australian lifestyle. Fast-forward to 2025 and the Coalition is now cosplaying as EV supporters.
• Voice to Parliament, 2023: “Divisive! Elitist!” A coalition of racists, billionaires, and Sky After Dark hosts blew that one up too.

It’s always the same formula:

1. Find a policy that slightly challenges entrenched privilege.
2. Shout “Tax Grab!”, “Class Warfare!” or “Labor Wrecking Ball!”.
3. Hope Australians are too busy to read the fine print.
4. Watch Murdoch do the rest.

💸 Who Really Pays?

The real kicker? While the Coalition screams “unfair!”, the average Australian pays marginal tax rates of 32.5% or higher on ordinary income – far more than the effective tax rate many multi-millionaires pay on their investment income parked inside super.

A person earning $80,000 a year pays more tax, proportionally, than someone with a $10 million super account earning tax-advantaged returns. That’s not fiscal discipline. That’s institutionalised class warfare in reverse.

🎩 Champagne Socialism for the Rich

Why does the Coalition always go to bat for the ultra-wealthy?

Because the modern Liberal Party isn’t a centre-right party anymore. It’s an IPA think tank in cosplay, a donor-funded rage machine that’s lost touch with middle Australia.

They defend negative gearing for landlords but won’t support rent caps for tenants. They protect tax loopholes for self-funded retirees but won’t fund dental for pensioners. They whinge about deficits while cheering on $254 billion in Stage 3 tax cuts – a third of which goes to the top 10%.

This isn’t conservatism. It’s kleptocratic theatre, and it only works if we keep letting them frame the narrative.

📢 The Takeaway: They’re Not Protecting You

If you have less than $3 million in super (which is literally 99.5% of the population), the current super tax changes don’t affect you.

If you supported increases to the Super Guarantee, the Coalition actively delayed your retirement savings for a decade.

If you believe in fairness, sustainability, and actual economic competence – you’ve been lied to.

This isn’t about taxes. It’s about who gets to retire in luxury while the rest of us fight for dignity.

And the Coalition? They’ve picked their side.

* * * * *

Also by Lachlan McKenzie:

 

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