Satire

Strong Leaders OR Democracy Costs Too Much!

Imagine if job interviews were like election campaigns.

“What skills do you bring to this job, Trevor?”

“Well, Simon, the other applicant, is weak and lacks decisiveness and he…”

“Yes, but your skills… what do you offer this company?”

“I’m not the other guy and he’s the one who spent the entire budget of his department on…”

“Budgets are meant to be spent. Besides, there is a female candidate as well, so it’s not enough to simply bag Simon…”

“Look, I’m not being sexist here but surely this job demands something that only a man could supply.”

“Which is?”

“Being a man. A woman can’t do that because there are only two sexes and she’s not the male one…”

“Anything you’d like to add?”

“I’m good. I’m the best at this sort of thing and the others are rubbish!”

Yeah, that sounds ridiculous but it’s pretty much what we hear at election time.

Now I don’t want to single out any particular party here but I must repeat something I’ve often said: I can understand that a person might disagree with me, but I get confused when they disagree with themselves. 

For example, when the Liberals voted against Labor’s proposed legislation after they’d said that they wanted a cap on international student numbers. Apparently it wasn’t the sort of cap that they wanted. I couldn’t actually work out what they were objecting to. All they seemed to be suggesting was that the cap didn’t fit somehow because if the cap fits…

Anyway, one of the complaints about the Albanese government I find particularly galling is the one about how they wasted $460 million on the Voice Referendum. This annoys me for two reasons:

  • First, the idea that the money was wasted. The money went to such things as printers, media organisations and people who worked on counting votes and at polling stations. In the middle of a cost of living crisis, quite a few people would have been helped out by some of the extra cash that they received.
  • Second, the idea that it was wasted because the No vote won. Let’s be clear here. Nearly every constitutional referendum has lost but this seems to be the only one where the idea of giving people a say has been a waste. I mean, should we talk about the incredible waste of money by John Howard with the whole Republic thing? He had a Constitutional Convention where people were elected to go to Canberra for what Dutton and his mates would call a “talkfest”. Add to that the extra costs of holding an actual vote by the people. As for the coming election, could we decide that it’s a waste of money and just give all the MPs another term because most of them will be re-elected anyway? Or is it worth giving the people a vote. Is this democracy idea still worth something?

Another thing that I’ve found confusing is the strong, decisive leader, Mr Dutton who, after calling Mr Albanese “weak” and “a liar”, complains that Labor are slinging mud and that they are terribly mean people who call him names. He adds that he doesn’t mind but he feels that he must point it, even if he’s not the sort of person who tells the teacher because he’s strong enough to handle it himself even if it is unfair because he’s tried to focus on the issues like working from home which isn’t an issue because they’ve changed their mind on that one.

Yes, Peter is the sort of strong decisive leader who can change his mind after a bit of criticism. And it takes a strong person to admit that they’ve made a mistake, which Mr Dutton did over work from home… and also about the Indonesian President… and he’s never met President Trump so how can he say that he trusts him? Or that he doesn’t? How can he say anything at all when people criticise him for speaking his mind? But at least he was clear about sacking 41,000 public servants… no, not sacking, just allowing natural attrition to reduce the size of the public service because there’d be a hiring freeze… but not for Mike Pezzullo who was sacked by Labor for breaching the Public Service Code… but only on 14 occasions, so it should have just been the sort of thing that we could say don’t do it again and then if he did, we could say, nah, we mean it, stop breaching the Code or we’ll have to give you an official reprimand and leave you off the Australia Day Honours list!

Mm, yes I can picture Mr Dutton’s job interview now:

What skills do you bring?”

“I bring the ability to admit that I’m wrong and change my mind if people tell me I’m wrong.”

“Is that good in a leader?”

“I don’t know… what do you think? What answer will get me the job?”

“What would you say your faults were?”

“I sometimes speak before thinking and tell it how I see it?”

“I don’t think that’s a real fault…”

“Who cares what you think, shithead!”

 

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Rossleigh

Rossleigh is a writer, director and education futurist. As a writer, his plays include “The Charles Manson Variety Hour”, “Pastiche”, “Snap!”, “That’s Me In The Distance”, “48 Hours (without Eddie Murphy)”, and “A King of Infinite Space”. His acting credits include “Pinor Noir Noir” for “Short and Sweet” and carrying the coffin in “The Slap”. His ten minute play, “Y” won the 2013 Crash Test Drama Final.

View Comments

  • These 'leadership debates' are more about free media content, US focus on 'leadership' that may help Dutton via RW MSM interpretation and polls; influenced by both Oxford Union and the US evangelical Christians' need to preach.

    In turn the latter has also influenced 'sales culture' and preference for verbal communication to manipulate people or targets with sentiments and emotion; see our wacky house auctions with hugging, crying and applause....Trump rallies too.

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