Scenes From Dutton’s Anti-woke Australia…

While Dutton’s dream of Kirribilli harbour views is growing less likely than it was before the media started asking him difficult questions like: “Could you explain how that policy will actually work?” OR “So what actually IS the policy given Angus Taylor seemed to think it was the exact opposite of what you’re saying?”, I still remind myself that nobody has actually voted yet and people may still be impressed by things like Mr Dutton’s assertion that he could get a better deal on tariffs, even though it reminds me of Trump’s boast that he could end the war in Ukraine in 24 hours.

Speaking of Trump, the tariff thing seems to be going well. I presume that because his supporters always tell us to just wait because whatever’s happening is all part of his brilliant strategy. This is one of things that’s hard to argue against because of the “just wait” qualification. It basically means that you can’t judge until some time in the future when it’s worked and, if it hasn’t worked, that doesn’t mean it won’t; it just means that we haven’t got to the bit where it worked or we’d be able to see how brilliant it was. And if it doesn’t work, that’s not because it didn’t work; that’s just because we thought that the cunning plan was what he said it was and not what actually happened which was his plan all along…

Of course, if I adopted the same tariff arguments and said that the coffee shop where I buy my lattes has been operating a trade surplus with me and it’s just not fair because they never buy anything from me, even though I’m not selling anything they want to buy, I very much doubt that they’d consider buying junk off me just so I could continue to buy coffee with the money they give me. This, I should point out, is the microeconomics of Trump’s macroeconomics and while you can’t always apply the small to the large or vice versa, it’s very obvious that if a country (or a person) suggests a deal where the subtext is: “Look this has to be all to my advantage or you can fuck off!”, then a likely response is, “Non, tu peux aller te faire foutre!” Which I suspect I don’t need to translate…

Interestingly, while the penguins are being charged a tariff, Russia isn’t, which might give rise to all sorts of nonsense about Trump being a Russian asset but, as I previously wrote, who could ever consider Donnie an asset?

And speaking of assets, that man who’s been calling the PM weak, showed his strength as a leader by demonstrating a difficult backflip on working from home and public service reductions… No, it takes strength to admit that you were wrong, but no this isn’t a change in policy; it’s just a clarification because Labor were running a scare campaign and when they do that, Dutton has to show that he’s not weak by doing the opposite of what he said…

So when Dutton says that he’ll end the woke agenda and “not to be guided into some sort of agenda that’s come out of universities”, I have to wonder what exactly is included with this.

Will we see moments like this:

“Turn to page 65 of your textbook…”

“Excuse me, sir, but it says on the back that this was published by University Press…”

“Yeah, so?”

“Well my mum says that schools aren’t supposed to be guided by the sort of things that are coming out of universities…”

“That doesn’t mean textbooks.”

“You sure, sir?”

“Of course not. I mean, what’s next? Disqualifying teachers who are university educated.”

“My dad says that it’s because you’ve been indoctrinated that you want to teach such things as science because all the scientists got together so they could scam our money into things like research.”

“Without research, you wouldn’t have things like medical breakthroughs…”

“My uncle says that medicine is just a scam by big farmers…”

“I think you mean Big Pharma…”

“Whatever, the research is just a way of wasting money and thank God, Trump and Mr Dutton are stopping it!”

                                             OR

“Sir, stop calling me ‘her’… I’m a boy!”

“We don’t do that woke stuff anymore…”

“But I’ve always been male.”

“I don’t care what you believe you are. There are only two genders and…”

“Yeah but I’m not a girl.”

“Look, it says on the roll that you’re female and...”

“It’s a mistake, sir.”

“You may think it’s a mistake but…”

“Somebody must have hit the wrong box. It says on my birth certificate that I’m male.”

“But it says here that you’re female so unless you have a birth certificate handy, I’m not interested in what you think you are.”

                                  OR

“What’s this item on the Presentation Night program?

“Principal’s Welcome?”

“Yes, what’s that about. I thought Dutton put a stop to all that welcome nonsense…”

“It’s just a welcome to the school.”

“I don’t care. We don’t need to be welcomed to our own country…”

“Would you prefer if he said Just piss off back to wherever your ancestors came from?” 

“Hey, there’s no need to be so hostile. You’re making me feel unwelcome…”

Of course, while Dutton said things about woke agendas the other day, that doesn’t mean that it’s policy because, as recent events show, they’ll be announcing their policies in due course, closer to the election… Certainly in the week of the election. Maybe even before the election takes place… if nobody objects…

 

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