Peter Dutton and the LNP’s Fuel Excise Flip-Flop: A Masterclass in Hypocrisy 101

Spoiler Alert: His Principles Have a ‘Best Before’ Date of May 2025.

Introduction

Oh, how the tables have turned or more accurately, how they’ve been ‘violently yeeted’ into oncoming traffic. After years of clutching their pearls over the mere suggestion of cutting Australia’s fuel excise, Peter Dutton and the Liberal-National Party (LNP) have suddenly discovered the virtues of slashing the tax. But wait … only if you vote for them in May 2025, of course! Cue the confetti cannons filled with crushed credibility. Let’s unpack this dazzling display of political acrobatics, where principles are optional and election cycles are the real puppet masters.

Fiscal Responsibility

Rewind to 2022–2024, when the Coalition’s favourite bedtime story was ‘The Tragedy of the Fuel Excise Cut’. Dutton sermonised that reducing the excise (then 48.8 cents per litre) would “blow a hole in the budget,” doom infrastructure projects, and summon the Four Horsemen of Inflation. Shadow Treasurer Angus Taylor even tearfully warned that cutting the tax would leave Australia’s roads “crumbling like a gluten-free muffin.”

Fast-forward to March 2025: Surprise, surprise! Dutton and the LNP have unveiled a brand-new policy to cut the fuel excise, just weeks before the federal election. Suddenly, the same tax they once called “reckless” and “economically irresponsible” is now a “cost-of-living rescue package for struggling Aussies.” The budget black hole? Poof – gone! Inflationary risks? A mere myth! It’s almost as if their previous arguments were … checks notes … complete nonsense.

The Art of the Political U-Turn

Let’s savor the audacity. In 2023, Dutton declared, “You can’t sacrifice long-term infrastructure for short-term political wins.” Cut to 2025: “We’re sacrificing long-term infrastructure for short-term political wins – vote for us!” The LNP’s newfound enthusiasm for fuel excise cuts isn’t just a flip-flop; it’s a full Cirque du Soleil routine.

And let’s not forget their earlier pearl-clutching over inflation. In 2023, Dutton insisted cutting the excise would be “pouring fuel on the fire” of inflation. Now? Apparently, it’s a “targeted measure to ease pressures.” Who could’ve predicted that inflation only exists when Labor suggests the same policy?

But Wait … There’s More!

The LNP’s 2025 policy announcement is a masterstroke in selective amnesia. Remember when they lambasted Labor’s temporary 2022 excise cut as a “Band-Aid solution”? Now, Dutton’s plan is… drumroll … a temporary excise cut! The only difference? It’s stamped with an LNP logo and comes with a side of hollow promises to “review” it after the election. Spoiler alert: That review will likely involve a paper shredder.

The Real Agenda: Votes Over Values

Let’s call this what it is: a shameless, transparent, glitter-covered bid to buy votes. After years of opposing fuel excise relief – even as households struggled – the LNP has suddenly found Jesus (or at least a focus group telling them Jesus wants cheaper petrol). Dutton’s moral high ground? Bulldozed to make room for a billboard that reads, “Screw consistency – here’s 20 cents off a litre!”

Conclusion: A Deception Tank Full of Irony

Peter Dutton and the LNP’s fuel excise saga isn’t just hypocritical – it’s a slapstick comedy of errors. They’ve spent years weaponising economic jargon to oppose relief for ordinary Australians, only to morph into Santa Claus with a jerry can when an election looms.

The message is clear: When the LNP says a policy is “bad,” what they really mean is “bad for us, right now.” Voters should ask: If the fuel excise cut was “economic vandalism” in 2023, what changed? (Hint: their poll numbers.)

So, as Dutton revs his engines toward May 2025, remember this gem from his 2023 playbook: “Permanent cuts without a plan to replace revenue are economic vandalism.” Unless, of course, the vandalism comes with a ballot box payoff. How convenient.

 

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