Snarky Article by Bazza McSatire
Senior Correspondent, The Wombat Weekly
Australia, land of sun, surf, and a media landscape so dominated by vested interests that even the koalas are rolling their eyes. Let’s cut through the corporate spin like a rusty tin opener: Why does Australia “desperately” need a Royal Commission into media-political collusion? Because right now, our democracy’s being run like a dodgy pub raffle where the same blokes keep “winning” the meat tray.
Exhibit A: The Murdochracy™. With 70% of print media owned by one bloke who probably dreams of mining uranium in your nan’s backyard, it’s no wonder your local MP suddenly supports coal-powered hairdryers.
Exhibit B: “Independent” News Corpse headlines like “Climate Change? Nah, Just a Warm Beer!” while their mates in Parliament fast-track approvals for reef-choking megaprojects. Coincidence? Sure, and the Emu War was just a misunderstanding.
Exhibit C: Ever noticed how “national interest” suddenly means “mining magnate’s profit margin”? It’s like watching Home and Away reruns directed by Gina Rinehart.
The Solution? A Royal Commission with Teeth™ – one that can subpoena texts between politicians and media execs (“Pls approve my tax cut. Will run ‘Albo Eats Babies’ story tomorrow. Cheers, Clive”). We need transparency, accountability, and maybe a law banning politicians from owning media shares (radical, we know).
But don’t take our word for it! Let’s ask the real experts – you, the Aussie battlers who’ve had enough of being spoon-fed spin like it’s soggy Weet-Bix.
Online Survey:
“Should Australia Hold a Royal Commission into Media-Political Collusion?”
(Tick one, mates)
- ✅ Yes – I’d trust a Royal Commission over Alan Jones’ “fact-checking” any day.
- ❌ No – I enjoy being gaslit by billionaires while chewing on a sausage sanga.
- 🤷 Maybe – But only if the final report is buried in a VB carton at the back of Bunnings.
- 💩 Already Did It – It’s called “watching QandA on ABC… before they defund it.”
Vote now at www.wombatweekly.au/not-a-Russian-bot (fake link)
Final Thought: If we don’t rein in this circus soon, the only “fair go” left will be in the dictionary – right between “extinct species” and “NBN speeds”.
#RoyalCommissionNow, #MurdochMate, #DemocracyNotDuopoly 🦘🗳️
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