I have been working for several days now on a long and detailed rebuttal of everything that I most dislike about the current media circus. It will be completed about six weeks after I am dead and buried. So, for the time being, a largely deranged rant will have to suffice.
The media remains a sprawling web of disappointment. Suppressed sexual tension, cocaine and confusion seem to be powering the new Trump ascendency. Which should provide fruitful territory for the odd gonzo journalist. But little has changed. I am still being treated like a brain-dead infant. Why can’t a well-paid journalist just spit out the phrase ‘I don’t know?’
Our new Emperor is looking crook and babbling like a lunatic. If someone else suggested that we should deport the entire Palestinian population from Gaza so US developers could erect condos for ‘world citizens’ they would be either shunned or locked up tightly in a padded white room. But when the Great Orange Galah suggests the same half of our media outlets do not just entertain the idea; they weigh the pros and cons in accord with the deliriously ill-considered journalistic ethic that what the Prez announces must be dutifully reported and provided careful consideration (having checked intellect and integrity at the door).
What would happen if Trump pulled out a revolver and shot a CNN reporter? Would it be murder? Or a heroic intervention saving the lives of everybody in the room? Would Trump be needlessly and illegally taken into custody? More after this short message from our sponsor.
As a result of the utter incoherence of our media, settling down in the evening to watch the teevee has become an absolute delight. It seems our new Emperor has sent his minions into the government slums to hunt out insurgents. And, the incoming felon has appointed a billionaire mate to shred the entire federal government bureaucracy. And, the Superbowl was a gross disappointment. And, the world order is on the brink of dissolution and the totalitarian states are about to rape and pillage all that they have not yet molested. And, I need to buy insurance because of potential asteroid damage (or something).
I do not intend to fight incoherence with coherence. Fuck that. The sole intent of this remarkably insignificant article is to spit vitriol at a range of disconnected ‘media associated’ targets. Why should the GOP have all the fun?
Like Dutton and Albo. Just because I detest Dutton does not mean that I like Albo. Just because I distrust the chardonnay Greens does not mean that I am on the sidewalk with Barnaby. Just because I think that the LNP are a bunch of ill-informed buffoons does not mean that I am about to chain myself to a railing in Newcastle and tear myself a fresh vagina. Why is our press so damn simplistic? And plain kneejerk stupid?
No! I am not your damn average consumer of the news. None of us are!
Where is the nuanced commentary? Where are the hard questions? Who wishes to discuss the same miasma of concerns that are apparent to anyone without a six-figure salary? Why the fuck are there ads on cable teevee? How can Andrew Bolt tolerate being Andrew Bolt? Who castrated the ALP? Why can’t we just tax the people who have all the money? Why do we have to be so fucken worried all the time? Who watches Sky after dark? Why are smart televisions so bloody stupid?
I can think but don’t want to have to think. I am not black, green or white. I am not brown. I am not your stereotype or your enemy. I do not like beer. And I am not a member of your audience segment.
I am still kinda attached to the idea that we should be reasonable and think about things. But there is a time and place for everything and I would really welcome a reporter starting their bulletin with the observation that: ‘Ever since the most powerful country on the earth elected a dangerously insane fool to be their President, nobody knows exactly what is going on and confusion seems to be the order of the day here in Washington, but I still have to try and do my job, so here goes…’.
It is unlikely that Trump will kill me, but the inane reporting about Trump very well might. Gesundheit.
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James, that is brilliant.
You took the words right outa m’mauth…
Fantastic stuff. I also read about your amazing background. You have been everywhere man. You are well qualified in the ways of the real world.
Thanks Jimm,you’ve made my day…I just put the gun away.The shit that’s going on would make the saints recant religion.
The death rattle we can all hear is the Orange Messiah switching off all the life support systems.
JM: Nice… but all those good hard questions! Lots of luck given most politicians don’t answer tough questions with meaningful answers. Australian billionaires’ wealth increased by more than 8 per cent, or $28 billion, last year. Oxfam Australia is calling on the federal government to introduce a wealth tax of between 2 and 5 per cent on the super-rich. The LNP want to give them tax cuts – go figure.
Sorry, no mental energy to respond; I’m trying to decide whether to dump Netflix entirely or pay them half as much again to keep my viewing ad-free.
James, this will make you cringe from a reporter at a White House press conference:
“President Trump, first of all, congratulations for a fantastic 24 days of your presidency. Historic and unprecedented decisions that you’ve made…”
Oh dear.