I am the next President of the United States

If others can lead, so can I.

When Jacinta Price claimed, “Lots of people see me as Prime Minister,” I raised an eyebrow – and then a poll on X. In a landslide (admittedly, among my followers), 98% said they’d choose me as President of the United States over Donald Trump. So there you go – I’ve got the numbers – I’m running for president in 2028.

While I’ll take the ego boost, my campaign is about more than numbers – it’s about a vision for a better America.

With a team of sharp advisers, I’ve crafted policies that tackle today’s challenges while building a sustainable, inclusive future. The Taylor administration will focus on interconnected priorities, addressing immediate needs and laying the groundwork for lasting progress. Here’s what I will offer the American people:

Economic Equity: Bridging the Divide

Economic inequality remains a persistent challenge. The wealth gap has widened, with the top 1% holding disproportionate resources while many Americans struggle with stagnant wages and rising costs. My administration will prioritise policies that empower the middle and working classes. A bold first step would be reforming the tax system to ensure corporations and high earners contribute fairly, closing loopholes that favour the ultra-wealthy. Revenue could fund universal access to affordable healthcare, reducing the financial burden of medical debt. Investing in workforce development – particularly in emerging sectors such as clean energy and technology – would create high-paying jobs and address unemployment in regions hit hard by industrial decline.

Climate Resilience: Securing the Future

Climate change poses an existential threat, with bushfires, hurricanes, and heatwaves intensifying. My presidency will champion a rapid transition to renewable energy, targeting 50% clean energy by 2030. Federal incentives for solar, wind, and battery storage will accelerate adoption, while retraining programs for fossil fuel workers would ensure a just transition. Infrastructure modernisation is critical – think flood-resistant cities, upgraded power grids, and expanded public transit. My administration’s partnering with the private sector to innovate in carbon capture and sustainable agriculture would position America as a global leader in green technology. These efforts not only mitigate environmental damage but also create jobs and reduce long-term economic costs from climate disasters.

Social Cohesion: Healing a Divided Nation

Polarisation has eroded America’s social fabric, fuelled by misinformation and distrust during the Trump presidencies. My administration will prioritise rebuilding unity through education and dialogue. I will introduce civics education in schools to equip young citizens with critical thinking skills to navigate misinformation. A national initiative to promote community-led forums – both online and offline – will foster respectful discourse across political divides. Addressing systemic inequities, such as reforming criminal justice to reduce incarceration rates and investing in minority-owned businesses, would build trust among marginalised groups. Protecting democratic institutions, including election integrity and press freedom, is non-negotiable to ensure a robust public square.

Health Care as a Priority

The Taylor administration will make adequate health care a cornerstone of a thriving America, ensuring every citizen has access to affordable, high-quality medical services. We’ll implement a comprehensive plan to expand coverage through a public option, reduce prescription drug costs by negotiating prices, and invest in preventive care to keep Americans healthy. Mental health services will be prioritised, with increased funding for community clinics and telehealth access in rural areas. By streamlining bureaucracy and incentivising innovation, we’ll build a system that puts people first, delivering care that’s equitable and sustainable for generations to come.

Eliminating Trump’s Tariffs: Boosting Economic Fairness

Scrapping (the on again off again on again) tariffs would signal a commitment to free trade and economic efficiency. Tariffs often inflate consumer prices and disrupt supply chains, disproportionately harming working-class families. By removing them, my administration will lower costs for goods, from electronics to groceries, easing financial strain. This move will also strengthen global partnerships, encouraging reciprocal trade agreements that boost American exports.

Reviewing Gun Laws: Balancing Safety and Rights

America’s gun laws are a contentious issue, with rising gun violence clashing against Second Amendment protections. A thorough review, grounded in data and public input, will find a balanced path forward. My administration will start by closing background check loopholes and investing in mental health resources to address root causes of violence. Smart gun technology, like biometric triggers, could enhance safety without infringing rights. A national task force, including law enforcement, community leaders, and gun owners, will propose reforms that respect regional differences while prioritising public safety. We expect pushback from gun lobbies, but we’ll be ready for them (and no, we’re not going to shoot them).

Nationalising Elections: Standardising Democracy

Centralising elections under a federal department would streamline a patchwork system where state-level rules create inconsistencies and vulnerabilities. I will establish a national election authority that will standardise voter registration, ballot access, and security protocols, ensuring every vote counts equally. This move would strengthen democratic trust, critical for social cohesion, by reducing disputes over election integrity. We expect state pushback over autonomy, but the equation is simple: federal elections should be run by a federal department. Voting in presidential and mid-term elections will be compulsory, therefore, election days will be a public holiday.

Implementation and Challenges

These priorities require bold leadership and bipartisan cooperation (not a problem – I can handle the GOP). Economic reforms may face resistance from powerful lobbies. Climate action demands global coordination, but my leadership can set the tone. Social cohesion efforts must navigate cultural sensitivities, emphasising shared values over division. By focusing on measurable outcomes – such as job creation, emissions reductions – the Taylor administration can maintain momentum.

By combining data-driven policies with transparent communication, I will deliver measurable progress – lower costs (eggs included), safer communities, and a stronger democracy – and make America great again (or great for the first time).

(And as an added bonus the GOP meltdown will be epic. You will not want to miss it! It will be the biggest, most beautiful meltdown…)

 

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