How Donald Trump Made America Great…

Here in 2035 it’s hard to remember how bad things used to be back before Donald Trump restored America to its rightful place in the world.

His greatest achievement was the America for Patriots Act which restored the correct balance to elections. Prior to its enactment, anybody – even woke socialists – could stand for election. However, once the Act was passed, all candidates had to show that they were a patriot in order to stand. Obviously anyone opposing Trump’s agenda wasn’t a patriot and therefore was excluded from being able to run as a candidate.

Some urged him to ban Democrats from voting but President Trump felt that this was anti-democratic and that Democrats should be given the chance to demonstrate their allegiance and it would make it easier to discover which areas had a lack of appreciation by the low voter turnout. “All the candidates are patriots so any area where the voters don’t turn up is clearly somewhere that lacks the sort of belief in our system that entitles them to share in its wealth and, as such, means that we should just cut all federal funding to such places.”

The Democrats argued that they should still be allowed to contest the election and that restricting it to people who supported Trump was anti-American, but this was countered by people pointing out that many Republicans had been excluded too, so this was not a partisan idea. 

In spite of Trump’s early successes, there were still those who were working against him, claiming that some of his measures breached the human rights of the people he was jailing without a trial and, some very unpatriotic judges tried to apply the law equally when it’s clear that – at the time the US Constitution was written – that the laws only applied to white males. If it had applied to everyone, slaves could have freed themselves by simply consulting their lawyers. However, in order to end any possible challenge in the Supreme Court, Trump’s team had the perfect counter for this. They simply declared anyone who wasn’t fully supportive of their agenda a person non grata and therefore they couldn’t apply to the courts. When some courts decided that even aliens have rights, Trump declared that all aliens were non human and therefore had no human rights.

Of course there were also some countries that resisted Trump’s plan to make America great, claiming that they were sovereign nations and had the right to make up their own minds about what they should do and that spending certain arbitrary amounts on defence wasn’t in their best interest. At this point, Trump pointed out that it was certainly in their interests because if they didn’t buy the right things then the US could bomb them at any point and, if they were unsure about this, he could arrange a demonstration.

After a few teething problems, Trump’s America was something that all citizens had the right to enjoy and, if they didn’t, they had the right to keep it to themselves because nothing would spoil the enjoyment of the MAGA crowd more than people telling them that they were wrong and wasn’t it clear that they had the right to enjoy Trump’s America without some socialist whinging about the price of eggs? No, it was only right that in this freest of free countries that people should have the freedom to enjoy their right to be MAGA…

By 2027 nobody was complaining; it was illegal. 

 

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