Do you want political eggs for breakfast? : The question so hard to answer

You’ve got to have empathy for our elected party politicians. Life is a challenge for them in managing their roles and let’s face it, love em or loathe them, most work very hard at doing what they do – especially leading up to an election.

You’ve got to feel for them, they really break out into a sweat when their faced with the hardest task of all – answering simple questions.

It really is terribly hard to do. When you are not a politician we do it all the time. And it doesn’t seem difficult. But something happens when you get erected to a position of public power. (Did I say “erected”? No apologies, some of them do turn out to be dicks).

Have you watched TV interviews when you can sometimes not only sense but even see – “The Squirm”. It happens when a good journalist – not your Murdoch style bottom suckers – asks real hard questions.

Don’t know about you, but I actually take offence when questions are asked, for us, by a journalist about issues that concern us and you see the politicians squirming around like pigs in a trough. They think they are cleverly responding, but they use words, with no answers. And they wonder why people Politicians aren’t respected.

It happens with Governments and Oppositions. Less so, in my view, with minor parties and independents. There’s a reason for that, particularly for Independents who have two groups to respond to, the electorate, and their convictions. It is different for politicians of major parties.

When a Minister, is asked a question about his/her portfolio in their minds they have to silently consider whether now is the time for truth or not, whether there’s ever “time for truth or not”, how the answer will be be viewed by the PM and senior Ministers, the Cabinet, the Opposition, Cabinet, colleagues, my partner, my kids, the electorate, and Aunt Sally.

Imagine now if you will what it would be like if a really simple question at home was responded to as happens regularly on TV. In this case, the Spouse, Partner, is sweetly offering to cook breakfast for their loved partner.

It is indeed sweet and should be simple.

Let’s take a simple question:

“Would you like eggs for breakfast?”

Answer, in turn by:

Speaker 1:​The Minister for Sludge.

Speaker 2:​12-year-old daughter.

So, to repeat:

1st Question: “Would you like eggs for breakfast?”

Speaker 1: ​Well, I think eggs serve a significant purpose in the life of a human being. Our people have researched their benefits and can reveal to you this morning they are a complete protein, containing all nine essential amino acids.

Speaker 2:​ Yes thanks (Could be “Yeah”, “Ok”, or “Alright”)

Winning point to 12-year-old, in our view the only participant who answered the question.

2nd Question: “Come on, I’ve got a lot to do, just tell me how you would like your eggs: poached, fried or scrambled?”

Speaker 1:​ Well, eggs would be good for breakfast but our Vegan department argues that we shouldn’t eat eggs because they are animal-derived products. It is a question on which we are still formulating our policy.

Speaker 2:​ Scrambled.

Winning point to 12-year-old again. Well done, not necessarily the eggs..

3rd Question: “Are you an absolute idiot or is it just too difficult for you to tell me how you want your eggs for breakfast or whether you want any f***ing eggs?”

(Veins popping out on questioners temple, loving partner shouting at top of voice, dog barking with concern, cat oblivious, any semblance of domestic decorum now gone.)

Speaker 1:​That’s a bit unfair really. You left-wing spouses (or right, depending on the Polly), need to understand that every question doesn’t have a simple answer. We have to consider “all the ramifications of eggs”. It concerns the community, after all, they do come from the back end of chickens.

Speaker 2: ​I’ll be late for school if this keeps up.

Winning point to 12-year-old again. No question to answer.

The Conclusion

12-year-old enjoyed scrambled eggs on toast, cook parent takes child to school. Enters gates as bell sounds.

Politician returns to bedroom to remove egg splattered clothes and have another shower to remove egg from hair and eyes.

None of this will reach the media or the electorate, unless someone gets to the 12 year old.

 

 

 

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