The 2025 federal election results are in, and oh, what a beautiful morning! Voters have collectively decided that Australia’s future involves not being governed by a coalition of climate-denying, fossil-fuel-fellating, “Let Them Eat Coal” enthusiasts. The Liberals and their agrarian cosplay buddies, the Nationals, have been handed an historic thrashing – and honestly, it’s about time someone took out the trash.
Climate Action Wins: The LNP’s “Net Zero? More Like Net Hero” bumper stickers have been relegated to landfill (where they belong). Voters opted for parties that acknowledge science, not just Gina Rinehart’s quarterly profit reports.
Bye, Bye, Boomer Politics: The Nationals’ “Let’s Make Australia 1950 Again” campaign (featuring policies like “Coal for Christmas” and “Women Belong in the Kitchen”) failed to resonate with anyone under 70.
Transparency Over Corruption: Remember those “quiet beers” between ministers and mining execs? Voters decided they’d rather have a government that doesn’t treat public office like a Mining Magnate VIP Lounge.
Let’s pour one out for the LNP’s greatest hits:
Dutton’s Nuclear Fantasy: A bold plan to power Australia with reactors that’ll be ready in 2150 (and cost roughly 47 billion koala habitats).
Barnaby’s Guide to Fiscal Responsibility: A masterclass in spending public funds on water rights for your cousin’s farm.
Let Them Eat Coal!: The Nationals’ groundbreaking solution to inflation, homelessness, and existential climate dread.
Gina Rinehart is reportedly drafting a heartfelt op-ed titled “Why Won’t You Let Me Own the Sun?” after her pet politicians crashed harder than a Tesla in a coal mine. Meanwhile, the Murdoch media empire is in shambles, forced to pivot from “Labor Will Destroy Australia” to “10 Hot Singles in Your Area Who Actually Believe Our Headlines.”
(See featured image: The LNP’s post-election “kitchen”)
This iconic snapshot of a grimy, chaotic kitchen isn’t just a metaphor for the LNP’s policy cupboard – it’s a literal depiction of their HQ after voters flushed their agenda down the drain. (Expired milk labelled “2022 Climate Policy” and the moldy bread labelled “Economic Credibility”).
Australia didn’t just vote for a government – it voted for a future where “progress” isn’t a dirty word and “innovation” doesn’t mean digging deeper holes for billionaires. The LNP can now return to their natural habitats: boardrooms, coal mines, and Sky News After Dark.
🎶 Cue “Celebration” by Kool & The Gang. 🎶
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"Australia’s 2025 election: a deep clean for democracy" Not if bloody Ginormous Ego gets her way with the LNP:
@1.44 pm
https://www.smh.com.au/politics/federal/federal-election-results-2025-live-updates-albanese-gets-back-to-business-liberals-search-for-new-leader-20250504-p5lwi7.html#p58mb3
Truly, what intelligent, foresightful, compassionate person in this egalitarian, multicultural nation would even consider supporting and voting for the callously inhumane sociopaths, condescending elitists, hateful racist white supremacists and alpha-male misogynists who take up every seat in the LNP?
You only have to look at the appalling, cold-blooded, political psychopaths and war mongering miscreants in the LNP's disgraceful history to see just how bad and depraved they are:
** the unconscionable war criminal, John Howard who was so willing to sacrifice the lives of young Australian men and women to ILLEGALLY enter Iraq because Howard KNEW that when Australians become fearful (when entering a war or any other conflict), they always seem to vote CONSERVATIVELY;
** the Mother and Father of ALL climate-change-denying bible-thumping hypocrites and rusted-on misogynists: Phony Abbott;
** that staggering, totally deluded megalomaniac, Scott Morrison, yet ANOTHER reprehensible misogynist who, shockingly, remains a signed-up member of the notorious, paedophile-protecting CULT of Hillsong. Morrison was so egregious he even tried and, thankfully, failed to secretly, undemocratically and ILLEGALLY take over at least FIVE political portfolios like some demented third world fascist! Between March 2020 and May 2021, Morrison, the PM at that time, advised the Governor-General to appoint him "to administer" five departments in his government, DESPITE there being an incumbent minister in each portfolio! What a shocking level of fascist hubris! The five Departments were Health (14 March 2020); Finance (30 March 2020); Industry, Science, Energy and Resources (15 April 2021); and (together) Home Affairs and Treasury (6 May 2021). All were by an instrument headed "Appointment of Minister of State" and appointing "Scott John Morrison, a member of the Federal Executive Council" to "administer" a specified ministry or ministries. They are personally signed, and stated to be sealed with the Great Seal of Australia, by the second-worst, most corrupt and LNP-influenced Governor-General in Australia's history (next to the Kerr), ie David Hurley.
The appalling level of undemocratic entitlement; the disgusting misuse and abuse of political power - that is so inherent right throughout the LNP - continually exposes them as appalling tyrants who want to shred our democracy in order to attain and maintain a terrifying level of autocratic, megalomaniacal power! There can be no doubt that history has PROVEN the LNP's callous disregard towards fair, equitable and democratic political process which is SO TYPICAL of the maniacal, obsessive thirst for ABSOLUTE (even undemocratic) power within the black hearts of just about every member of the diabolical LNP. It is almost IMPOSSIBLE to think of a political party as bad, corrupt or treacherous as the undemocratic, power-obsessed fascists in the born-to-rule LNP and Dutton is NO EXCEPTION!
The fact that these arrogant, totally heartless, completely inept and dangerously undemocratic political misfits in the LNP now have the unspeakable GALL and TEMERITY to blame the foresightful Australian electorate for the LNP's inevitable demise at the last election, shows just how deluded, arrogant and completely disconnected the Lying Nefarious Parasites (ie the LNP) are from ordinary working- and middle-class Australians! The fact that Dutton ran a campaign overflowing with hate, misogyny and racial division proved to be EVERY bit as destructive and toxic as the type of angry, disgruntled elitists, hateful racists and misogynistic predators who take up EVERY seat in the Trump-supporting LNP! Seriously, there is not a single good thing one can find to say about the appalling, megalomaniacal psychopaths in the LNP.
The fact that the egalitarian, environmentally-aware, left-wing compassionate democratic socialists in the ALP so convincingly won last Saturday was NOT surprising - it was INEVITABLE!
The slur on baby boomers is not warranted.
The oldest boomers did not come of age until the mid sixties. We were s generation of protesters who supported Whitlam, women’s rights, equality for Indigenous Australians and measures to avert climate change. We demonstrated in huge numbers against the Vietnam war and apartheid South Africa. My boomer friends all vote Labor, Green or Independents. We opposed every war Australia has alliwed itself to be dragged into.
The Fat Frau of the West, a brontosaurusbrained bullshitting bestial boring bulker and botherer of balance and blessedness, is telling the conservative remnant turderies to tough it out in Trumpian Trash and Truculence. What a plot, a script of egomaniacality fit to sink the Bismarck again. A Skinful of skirted Skunkshit declares...(At least Dutton has gone!)